squirrels

If you don’t know yet, you’re about to. And if you don’t follow along, you could be in grave danger. The danger out there is bigger than it may sound at first so please be patient and hear out the whole explanation. The biggest threat to human kind: the squirrels.

Just take a minute to sit back and think about it. Have you ever noticed how they always seem to be watching us? Notice how there are devices specifically to keep squirrels from running along wires, or to keep the little tree rats out of the bird feeders. There are many examples that show the danger the rodents are.

What is their main purpose? They want control. Of what? Of everything we hold dear. They have many ways that they are putting their plan into effect. For instance, notice how there always seems to be a large number of squirrels at institutions of higher learning. Universities, research facilities, and other such places harbor a higher population of squirrels than normal. One might say that this is because there are more trees for the squirrels to hide in. That’s our fault. But there are many trees in the neighbors hoods I frequent and there just isn’t the same number of tree rats roaming around there.

The reason for their hanging out there? Not only can they tap into the cutting
edge of research and technology, not only can they learn for themselves the
ways of people and know what we know, squirrels understand that people
are universities can be very liberal and also very impressionable. Students are
looking for their own outlet of expression, and if the squirrels can figure out
how to time it right, they could very well be the ones to lead a student
revolution in the name of squirrel domination.

They have other routes to getting to us other than mind manipulations. The other way is to simply kill us off. One example. Have you noticed how the squirrels just love to run out in front of cars in residential areas? The ideal scenario is that the human, unaware of the danger, swerves to miss the rodent, thereby hitting a tree, post, or other large inanimate object and disposing of one more person. They keep trying not out of stupidity but because it has actually worked on several occasions.

Another instance of the squirrels attempting to eradicate us: Somewhere in Missouri a squirrel climbs into a power transformer that controls the power to a hospital. Right away he begins to chew away at the wires. This suicide mission not only kills a squirrel but put out the power for a block either way. Luckily, hospitals do have back-up power, which it is certain that the squirrels did not count on.

An example from our history. Back in the times of the Native Americans, tribes tried to domesticate the oak tree, hoping to use the acorns as a source of food. In order to domesticate a plant, you have to be able to have control over which plants get to have their seeds plants and the domesticator needs to have control over the when and where of the process. Only the tree rodents got in the way of this. They would dig up the acorns carefully planted by the natives and they would bury the ones they felt would be the worse substitutes. Even in the beginning they were trying to get rid of us, that time they wanted to starve us out.

There are things we can do. We can fight back, it will be a long hard battle that must be fought all over the world but it can be done. When you see a squirrel, don’t just let it pass. If you don’t have immediate access to a firearm, simply run after it, throwing rock or other items of destruction at it. Eventually they will come to learn that we are not a species to be trifled with. We cannot take this sitting down.

If you have any questions of concerns, please feel free to send your squirrel hate mail to DNAFreak03@hotmail.com and let me know how you feel. Thank you for your time.