Chapter 34
The shrill ring of the phone was enough to wake the dead. This must be some kind of cruel joke that the hotels play on their guests…install the most annoying telephones known to mankind then take away the clock and let Ma Bell wake ‘em. Robby’s sleepy arm slammed around on the nightstand looking for a way to beat the noise into submission in any way possible. When he made contact with the receiver, he thought about chucking the damn thing across the room, but reconsidered, it could be his mom, or even Grandma; they were known to call at odd hours…odd to him anyway.
“Yeah?” he groaned into the handset.
“Rob, I can’t sleep. You wanna get some breakfast?”
“Fuck, dude. No. I’m sleepin’ here.”
“C’mon. It’s already, like, seven thirty, eight o’clock, man.”
“Rzeznik, eat shit.”
“Man, c’mon, Mike’s out runnin’ already.”
“Good for him. He wasn’t out till four a.m.”
“Too bad, dude. I’m comin’ over. Be dressed in five minutes or I’ll bang on your door and demand that you let my fourteen year old daughter out of your room!”
“You bastard! You’d do it too, wouldn’t you?”
“Whatever works, man. See you in four now.”
Robby hated when he did this. He was truly like a brother…in all the most annoying ways. Sure, he couldn’t sleep, but why did he have to punish everyone else for it? He begrudgingly rolled out of bed and fumbled around for something to wear. Jeans and a t-shirt would have to do. He brushed his teeth and answered the door, toothbrush in his mouth. “Dus a sec…gimme a minnit… Ahm oh mos ready,” he mumbled as he brushed. John stood by and waited.
Sixty seconds later, they were out the door.
“Why do you do this to me, dude? I’m really tired.”
“I told you, I couldn’t sleep.”
“So? I don’t wake you when I have insomnia. Take a pill.”
“Sorry. I just forgot what it was like to be lonely.”
“What?”
“Yeah, y’know. She was only here for a week but it felt like forever.”
“I thought you liked her.”
“I do.
I didn’t mean that in a bad way. It’s
like she’d always been here, y’know?”
“Ok. So why don’t you call her
instead of me?”
“I can’t go to breakfast with her,” he grinned.
A perky hostess showed them to an out of the way table and their gum-chewing waitress approached them immediately. “What can I do yous for ta-day?” she asked in her flat Chicago accent.
“Just coffee for me, thanks,” smiled Robby.
“Um, how about a Belgian waffle and some fruit.”
“No problem, guys. I’ll have ‘em out to yous in a jiff.”
Robby slouched forward on the table, still half asleep. “So you’re lonely, huh? You had any number of eligible ladies to keep you company last night.” He was referring to the after party. It’d been a doozy. They didn’t have parties of this magnitude very often when they were on tour, but this was one for the record books. There was plenty of drinking and hell raising and gorgeous women to go around. Mike left around midnight. John and Robby hung on until somewhere after four. But ultimately, all three guys went home alone.
“I know there were plenty of girls I could have left with. And ordinarily, I probably would’ve,” John sighed. “But last night I kept lookin’ at every girl there, like, grabbin’ for me, y’know. Not one of them interested in just talkin’ to me. And I kept thinkin’ 'man, Gennie isn’t like this'. She wouldn’t be doin’ this shit. She’d be sittin’ over there in the corner laughin’ her head off at these chicks.” He shook his head, “They don’t even compare, man, not even close.”
“Why didn’t you ask her to stay another day?”
“Y’know I wish I had. But she’s got a life and a job and I don’t want to screw it up for her. She needed to get back to her normal world.”
“Maybe she thought it was fun.”
“Maybe she hated it.”
“She didn’t hate you.”
“But what do I have to offer her, really? She’s smart enough to know that money don’t mean shit and the rock star thing obviously doesn’t impress her. Other than that, what have I got?”
Robby groaned and rolled his eyes. “I don’t believe you sometimes. The girl is crazy about you, man! She likes you. YOU!” he reached across the table and poked him in the chest.
“I know she likes me, Rob. But it was just a fling for her.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I told her I loved her.”
“Yeah?” His wide eyes showed his amazement.
“And she didn’t say it to me all week, y’know." His eyes revealed his obvious hurt. "She has her friends and her family and she doesn’t want to get tangled up with me. She lives two thousand miles away. We can’t have a casual relationship that way and I don’t think she’s ready for more.”
Robby almost choked on his coffee. “Are you saying you are?”
Johnny took a deep breath and collected his thoughts while he stared at the entrance to the restaurant. Then looking Robby in the eye, he spoke slowly and deliberately. “I’ve done things this past week that frighten even me. But I gotta say, what might happen doesn’t scare me as much as what might not happen.”
A perplexed expression colored Robby’s features. “What in the world are you talking about?”
Robby was as close to him as anybody on earth, so he didn’t see why he shouldn’t tell him about the stupid things he’d done. “Rob, we were careless, y’know. The first time was an accident but, uh, after that it was my fault. I guess it all was, really.”
“Careless? You mean…”
“I mean like I could be a dad.”
“No shit? That isn’t what you want, is it?”
“I don’t think so. But I would rather that, than have her be gone for good.”
“So what’s the problem? Be with her.”
“It’s fucked up, Robby…this whole thing. I don’t see how it can work, but I can’t imagine a day without her. She scares me to death,” he exclaimed as he munched on a piece of melon. “Do you know that she actually said things to me that my mom used to say to me? …I’m talkin’ exact words. She even wears the same perfume sometimes.” He shuddered. “It’s freaky!”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“Shit, I don’t know! I think that’s one of the things I like about her. She makes me feel at home, comfortable. It’s like she belongs with me. But it can be creepy.” He turned his eyes up to the ceiling like he was contemplating something. “You know, I think I’m gonna give it a rest. I’ll wait till I see her in Buffalo and see if there’s any hope. Maybe if I keep my mind off her it won’t hurt so bad to have to let her go.”
“Why do you have to let her go? If you like her so much, make the effort to make it work.”
“She’s the most amazing person I think I’ve ever met. I don’t want to screw her life up the way I did Laurie’s. I can’t do that to her.”