Welcome to the Official site of The Creeltrix!
The Creeltrix was a systemic anomaly that was incoherent yet similar to the running of the Matrix. Ergo, the Matrix and the Creeltrix existed with little relation whatsoever to each other. The Matrix was run by a screensaver, the Creeltrix was run by a McDonalds Advertising Computer.
However these two did have a lot in common. Both the Creeltrix and the Matrix were made by machines to keep humans alive, the former was made by deep-frying machines and the latter made by electric squid machines. The Matrix was practically an early version of the Creeltrix, however the latter was more complex and lasted 7 times as long thanks to new L.A.R.D computer technology. However, both were formed out of the same idea- a fake world pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth. But then came the ultimate question-what is the truth? And then an even more universal question-would you like fries with that?
The history of the Creeltrix is in the process of being turned into full length feature films.  These have the same purpose as the Matrix films - to make people believe that the Creeltrix is not real, that it does not exist, and that Soft Serve cones should be reduced to 30 cents. You will find proof that both are not so...
The forthcoming Creeltrix Films are as follows:

The Creeltrix

The Creeltrix Rebloated

The Creeltrix Regurgitations

The Creeltrix Underestimated

The Creeltrix Unplugged
Below is some information on the characters listed above

BeO - Also known as "The One Hundred and Forty Second". He is rarely found wthout a burger in his mouth. He usually spends the money he gets from hacking on french fries and greasy hamburgers. Beo was frequently told to have a shower, as he spent so much time at his computer that he never washed the grease stains from his shirt.

Chickeny - Chickeny is BeO's lover.  She has been given her nickname due to her love of poultry and has also managed to grow to monsterous sizes.  As you may know from the Creeltrix teaser trailers, Chickeny has trouble fitting into telephone booths to pick up ringing phones, more commonly having to reach in one chubby arm to pick up ringing telephones.

Poorpheus - As you can probably guess, Poorpheus is very poor.  He was named Moopheus (due to the large udder hanging from his groin), but was forced to change his name by his fellow Frionians.  His appearance is that of past grandeur, with his clothes being the remnants of a once beautiful flowery dress, accompanied by a stubbly beard.

Agent McNair - Agent McNair is the most evil of all the agents, who are programs with incredible powers who try to kill the rebels (thats the Frionians, or the freed people) and keep the Creeltrix under control.  However, McNair desired so much power he managed to free himself from the role of agent, but came back more powerful than ever.  He can know clone people to make thousands of himself.  He has developed a distinctive style, in which as he clones someone, he licks them on the hand.

The Creelchitect - The Creelchitect is the maker of the Creeltrix.  He wrote all of the basic code of all the versions of the Creeltrix, of which this would be the Version 142.2349785632978659238765 x 9998787668779 to the power of 3129. However, being able to control the Creeltrix led to him giving himself extrordinary powers, powers to match those of McNair.

The Cubicle- The Cubicle has changed the lives of many Frionians through his many strange ideas.  The Cubicle also has the ability to see into the minds of the machines, reading their thoughts.  However, sometimes he makes mistakes on what he sees, which can have disasterous consequences. He is also known for his afro, which has grown to monstrous sizes, approximately the size of 12 toilet cubicles.

The Jelly Virgin - The Jelly Virgin, also known as the "Frenchfries man", is an extremely dangerous program originally written to guard the Cheesemaker.  The Jelly Virgin also has control of three extremely dangerous "triplets", who kill people by mooning them.

Shyobe - Poorpheus's ex lover and captain of the ship Moron.  She is one of the worst pilots of Frion.

Bozo - Bozo is Spank's brother and chief weapons technician on the Turdmonger.  He was killed when Cyphered had an epileptic fit while holding a plasma gun.

- Jelaph is a program written to guard the Oracle.  He has developed a way of moving at amazing speeds, being flatulence propelled.

- Think is the dumbest of all the crew of Poorpheus's ship the Turdmonger.  His name is actually intended to be a joke as he never thinks.

- The Painman is also known by other names, including "Afro man" and has been described as a  "Paranoid Homeless bum".  The actor for the Painman declined an offer to be the 'before' picture for a colgate ad.  The Painman controls all of the fast food trucks leading to and from the real world and the Creeltrix.

- Cyphered is mentally disabled due to his brain being meddled with when he was plugged into the Creeltrix.  His brain then led him to do many odd things including attempted murder of the crew of the Turdmonger.

- Spank was the operator on Poorpheus's ship before Think. Spank was killed by Poorpheus in an act of rage when he demanded extra pay for his job.

The Cheesemaker
- The Cheesemaker is the maker of the finest cheese in the world. Upon shoving a blob of melted cheese into a lock, he can instantly open the door by kissing it.

Commander Sock
- Commander Sock is the leader of the defense system of Frion.  He is named Sock as he always wears many pairs, usually being 3 on each foot and 2 on each hand.

- Sane always wears a serious face, even while stoned, which happens frequently.  Agent McNair has a burning desire to clone and lick the most serious person in Frion.

- The triplets are modern day versions of Medusa.  They can paralyse people for hours upon mooning them.

Agents Pezzulo, Steemson and Stokoe
- The Agents of the Creeltrix are people who search for and destroy the free people, so as to keep the Creeltrix alive.  They almost always travel in a group and always pop up when you least expect them.
Version 1.5 Last updated
23rd March 2004
Production Staff for the Creeltrix films:

Writer: Stephen S.  Stephen also plays the part of the Cubicle.  He was chosen to write the Creeltrix due to his many amazing ideas.

Director: Sam M.  Sam plays the part of Agent McNair.  He was chosen to be director due to his continued persistence with the making of the film.

Producer: Ben C.  Ben plays the part of the Creelchitect.  He is the producer for the reason that he believes he will be able to get the film made.

Casters: Sam M and Ben C.  Sam and Ben have been casting characters for the Creeltrix films for a long time, always watching with a careful eye for who would fit certain parts best.
Set Designer: Scott C.  Scott has designed most of the sets for the Creeltrix movies, using his amazing talent for art.
Website Design and Production - Click to Email

This website is regularly updated by S Samara.  You are welcome to send him or any of the other creators money, preferably a minimum of $1000.  Please contact one of them for payment details.
This site and all its contents are copyrighted 2003 Creelman Creations Inc.  All rights reserved.  No unauthorised  copying is allowed without prior express written permission of the authors, S. J. D. McNair, B. J. Creelman or S. Samara.
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The Creeltrix Rebloated Review-     -The Creeltrix Regurgitations Review-
Contact Creelman Creations Inc. at ben.creelman@bigpond.com
The following list contains some of the characters of the Creeltrix.  The actors names are not shown for privacy reasons.
BeO / Mr Sanderson - Andrew F

Chickeny - To be announced

Poorpheus - Andrew D

Agent McNair - Samuel M

The Creelchitect - Ben C

The Cubicle - Stephen S

The Jelly Virgin
- James L

Shyobe - To be announced

- To be announced
Jelaph - To be announced

Think - To be announced

Painman - To be announced

Cyphered - Adam R

Spank - To be announced

The Cheesemaker - Alan D

Commander Sock - To be announced

Sane - To be announced

- Joe H
Agents Pezzulo, Steemson and Stokoe - Tony P, Michael S and David S
S Samara
B Creelman