I was searching for happiness in all the wrong places. Since I went to church and I was pretty good, I thought I would go to heaven. I was missing the big picture. I did not believe in Jesus from the bottom of my heart. I went to church off and on up through my high school years. I thought I was a Christian, because I could repeat a couple of prayers and I did some pretty good things in my life. I was not firm in my belief, because behind closed doors I was not always the "goody-goody" everyone thought I was. I had serious issues with pornography that I kept a secret from everyone. I was depressed even though I seemed to be enjoying myself with a 3.5 GPA and playing baseball, basketball, and football, in high school. When my parents decided to get divorced when I was 18, I had no solid basis for decision-making. I went with the crowd and what was popular. I thought life was just a big party and I did a lot of selfish things. Sin had corrupted my head and I had no idea what was right and what was wrong. I idolized so many things, but I did not even realize it was a problem.
2.) HOW I REALIZED I NEED JESUS?
I realized I needed Jesus when my life was near rock bottom. Alcohol, smoking, sex, pornography, poor relationships, etc, were my escape from all of life’s problems I was enduring. These temporary pleasures were creating more problems in my life. There were health effects, blacking out and not knowing what I did the night before, and very bad anger that was uncontrollable when drunk. Ultimately no matter how many friends I had or how cool I thought I was, there was no satisfaction in my life. I was putting all my faith and effort into things that were a temporary high. My life seemed to have no purpose. .
3.) HOW I COMMITTED MY LIFE TO JESUS?
I had said prayers in my head many of times at church, but it was not truly from my heart. I had prayed numerous times before I remember a night I was at an all time low. I committed my life to Jesus one night at my friend’s concert (Sanctus Real). I had my friend pray for me, because I just felt like I was at an all-time low. I believed Jesus would come into my life and it was the first time I had turned to Christ with my problems. Before that night, I tried to build satisfaction with many worldly pleasures, but they did not fill the hole that was deep in my heart. I realized I was a sinner and I could be forgiven just by believing Jesus died on the cross to save me of my sins.
4.) THE DIFFERENCE JESUS HAS MADE IN MY LIFE?
Jesus has made all the difference in my life. It was a slow process, but God has worked on transforming me into what he wants with my life. Jesus brought Kim (now my fiancé) into my life a couple months after that prayer. She has guided me to a great church and has been a wonderful example of what God wants in his children. The Lord has given me hope in defeating the temptation of alcohol, smoking, and pornography. Without my trust in Jesus I would have no reason to quit. I have been tempted but the bible says “and God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it”(ICorinthians 10:13). When I am tempted, I turn to Jesus and God’s Word. A relationship with Jesus has given me peace, comfort, and all the satisfaction I could ever ask for.
