Jamie, your a ****
		DATE: 25/03/03 PEOPLE: JAMIE, CRAGGS, FRETTERS, GEMMA, ELLE, JENNIE, TOM AND SOME OTHERS
	Woohoo its Jamie's birthday, an opportunity to get absolutely shit faced! So, 72 cans of carslberg was purchased for the guys and a huge bottle of blue wicked for Gemma, all for even before everybody goes out. Bonza! So, at 6pm it was off down into town to get some food and watch some Arsenal match coz thats who J and Gemma support (yes, its a shame) and already the stupidness was beginning to show. Gemma decided that she was gonna drink 'Snakebite' - a drink which is illegal in some places - resulting in her laughing at everything in sight such as a notice in the toilets for an 'Ordinary General Meeting' (it was a demon of a notice though - its now pinned to Fret's wall) and the guys were drinking Stella...mmm. At this point, all the non Flat Thirteen residents were starting to arrive and failed to appreciate the partially drunken humour of our heroes as quality jokes such as 'where does saddam keep his cds? in iraq' (Jamie) and 'its been one thing after another today...well, coz thats just the order things go in' (Fretters) were starting to be used. But everything settled down eventually with more drinks being bought and Jamie was beginning to become the centre of attention with numerous girls sitting on his knee....reminiscing about ex boyfriends. At this point, Fret breaks a glass of Stella through absolutely no fault of his own - and Elle randomly demands that he has a shave while Craggs dazzles everybody with his crisp packet folding antics and the packet ends up down Gemma's pants - Fretters is looking unusually shifty. Then, after a flukey win by the arse coz chelsea scored for em, its off to the club, Jumpin Jak's. After Gemma is asked for ID again like she always is for some bizarre reason, and Fret realises he has no money, everybody makes it inside unscathed. It's time for Jamie's punishment for it being his birthday to begin as everybody buys him drinks and he already starts to lose the plot as he buys Fretters a drink even though he knows he wont get one back - bizarre. Jak's start playing some kick ass music such as 'Cotten Eye Joe' resulting in silly dances and the introduction of a 'wet floor' sign - much to the delight of the guys. A strange guy suddenly appears acting like he knows everybody and starts dancing with each person individually. He soon leaves with his ego damaged. Jaks then closes and its next door to the clubs Ethos and Visage. Everybody seems to split up with most of the guys dancing to R'n'B in Ethos and Gemma and Fretters groovin in Visage to...ahem...Five (he was very drunk at this point). Now...nobody remembers much about what happened between this point and the end of the night so ill just skip to that coz its the best part.... Gemma decides she wants some water so Fret forks out £1.40 for a bottle in Visage when he could have got some for free apparently. All of a sudden he sees Jamie frowning (and this really was a dastardly frown) and pointing to his forehead. Fret thinks 'yeah, no wonder he's lookin pissed off, it really is a crappy forehead' but then he realises just what is going on. Ill explain....five weeks earlier, J told this man united fan that their shithouse player Veron was a waste of money - nothing wrong with that, he was just stating a fact - which resulted in the united fan holding a grudge against J. And i mean, a grudge. So he sees J at the bar in Visage and decides to say to him "you're a cunt coz ur an arsenal fan". Now J had two options here. He could either say "why thank you for your helpful constructive critisism there, I can assure you Ill be doing my best to rectify the situation"....or he could have laid into the fucker. After some carefull thinking and a discussion with his family about what to do, he chose the latter option. Course everybody tried to break it up. Fretters, being from Burnley and experienced in these situations was straight in the thick of the action, being headbutted by J as he tried to hold him off, having water thrown all over him by his own girlfriend and being disposed of by a bouncer - and he was trying to stop the fight! J is also kicked outta there so, just because it was his birthday, everybody had to leave. Gutted, it was only 1:30am. Outside, things are still heated as J starts pointing to his forehead again and some random people start playing at jousting with some tree supports. Craggs can't stop laughing at everything hes just witnessed. Then, having been banned from the club, everybody is forced to go home. J sits in the front of the taxi for everybody elses safety. So, overall, a fun night was had by all!
				THE PHOTOS!