The Simpsons At Its Best
Teacher Lisas bad dancing makes my feet unhappy
My cats breath smells like cat food
Thats where I see the lepricon he tells me to burn things
Daddy why are you at home on the couch Uhh because why arent you at school Teacher says she is tired of trying
Why do people run from me *pees in pants*
Teacher can I have another frog I accidentally ate my other one
I sleep in a drawer
Haha it says I choo choo choose you Like a choo choo train
They were making babies and I saw one of the babies
Doctor said I wouldnt have as many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there
At my house we call fires uh ohs
This tastes like grandma
Go banana
Oh boy sleep Thats where Im a viking
Me fail English Thats unpossible
Im a gulch
I bent my wookie
Were a todem pole
Look big daddy its regular daddy
Im special
Help daddy shes touching my special area(Marge touches his shoulder)
Daddy says Im this close to sleeping in the yard
My pillow smells like kitty litter
My all time favorite
I ated the purple berries they taste like burning
I will not waste chalk
I will not aim for the head
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not barf unless Im sick
I will not burp in class
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I will not instigate revolution
I saw nothing unusual in the teachers lounge
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I will not conduct my own fire drills I did not see Elvis
I will return the seeingeye dog Funny noises are not funny
I will not call my teacher Hot Cakes
I will not snap bras Garlic gum is not funny
I will not fake seizures
They are laughing at me not with me
This punishment is not boring and meaningless
I will not yell fire in a crowded classroom
My name is not Dr Death
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not defame New Orleans
I will not fake my way through life
I will not prescribe medication
Tar is not a plaything
I will not bury the new kid
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not teach others to fly
Its potato not potatoe
I will not bring sheep to class
I will not trade pants with others
A burp is not an answer
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
I am not a 32 year old woman
A Teacher is not a leper
I will not do that thing with my tongue
Coffee is not for kids
I will not drive the principals car
I will not eat things for money
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not yell Shes Dead during roll call
I will not sell school property
The principals toupee is not a frisbee
I will not cut corners
I will not squeak chalk
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I will not get very far with this attitude
Goldfish dont bounce
I will not make flatulent noises in class
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
I will not belch the National Anthem
No one is interested in my underpants
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not sell miracle cures
I will not grease the monkey bars
Underwear should be worn on the inside
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
The Christmas pageant does not stink
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not show off
I will not call the principal spud head
I will not carve gods
I will not sleep through my education
I will not spank others
I am not a dentist
I will not bribe Principal Skinner
Spitwads are not free speech
I will finish what I star
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
Bart Bucks are not legal tender
High explosives and school dont mix
Gerbils cannot fly
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
I will not say Springfield just to get applause
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
My homework was not stolen by a one armed man
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I am not deliciously saucy
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not use abbrev
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
Adding just kidding doesnt make it okay to insult the Principal
Indian burns are not our cultural heritage
There are plenty of businesses like show business
I will not dissect things unless instructed
I will not hang donuts on my person
No one wants to hear my armpits
I will not mock Mrs Dumbface
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
I will not strut around like I own the place
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
I am not a lean mean spitting machine
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr
I am not certified to remove asbestos
Bagman is not a legitimate career choice
I will not retransmit without the express of the MLB
I will remember to take my medication
The boys room is not a water park
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
Nerve gas is not a toy
Bewitched does not promote Satanism
The First Amendment does not cover burping
Goldfish dont bounce
Funny noises are not funny
i cant see dead people
"nonflammable" is not a challenge
the hamster did not have "a full life"
My Favorite
Ralph wont morph if you squeeze him hard enough
My Second Favorite
I will not sell land to Russia
Oliver Klozoff.Call for Oliver Klozoff
Phone call for Al. Al Koholic? Hello do we have an Al Koholic here?
Hey is there a Butts here? Seymour Butts? Hello I wanna Seymour Butts
Homer Sexual? Hey come on one of you guys has to be Homer Sexual
Mike Rotch. Mike Rotch? Hey has anyone seen Mike Rotch lately?
Amanda Huggenkiss? Im looking for Amanda Huggenkiss
Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle? Hey everybody put down your glasses Ivana Tinkle!