In March of 1995, I had gripping pain that I simply could not handle. It started as a nagging and constant ache type pain and gradually became sharper and more intense. For relaxation and excerxize I have ridden a bicycle since I was a youngster. At this point in time I would average 5 to ten miles every other day or so and often twice this mileage. On this particular day I had been riding but finding it difficult to maintain a proper sitting position. I just coulcn't find a comfortable position. The pain did seem to improve when I would stand and coast but not much. I decided to end my jaunt and turned around heading for home. As the pain incereased, I pedalled harder and with more determination knowing I needed to just get myself home and to bed. The pain was escalating and finally peaked. I passed out. I came to on the side of the road staring at a small fire truck and emergency personel. I related what I remembered and they suggested I allow them to transport me to the hospital. They said you need to go anyway wether your husband drives you or we drive you and if we transport you you'll be seen much quicker. I asked about my bike as it was a rather pricey gift from a close friend. The EMT"s assured me they would take care of it and not to worry.
At the hospital I related my history and my suspicions. The doctor agreed that it was probably a cyst. He also said, you need to be careful. Sometimes they will twist or cause other problems that can result in an emergency situation. I didn't realize this. He also said it is possible the cyst ruptured and that is why you hurt so much. He said that ovarian cysts can cause some horrendous pain. Not quite as bad a passing a kidney stone but up there in that league. He stated he would like to run some tests to be sure I am stable and also to assess wether there was a cyst involved. If there was a cyst he would feel more confidant that this is what was causing my troubles. The doctor came back into the room with the results, "Yes, it is a large cyst. I can see why you were uncomfortable while in a sitting a position and riding your bike. You may want to take it easy until the pain eases. I also would like you to see a GYN right away. Do you have one? If not, I can write you a referral to be seen in the Women's Clinic. Usually there is a long wait but if you have a referral from the ER they will generally see you sooner."
In December of 1994 I was once again experiencing considerable pain and went to the ER. I wasn't concerned that the matter was life threatening and made the assumption that this was simply another ovarian cyst. I was by now quite familiar with the pain and distress from these. At the ER an ultrasound was done, and this was confirmed. I was placed on pain medication and referred to their Women's Clinic where Dr. Michael saw me. At our first appointment my husband (he accompanies me to every medical appointment) and I were told how lucky we were to be seeing him as he was Chief of OBGYN, highly experienced and trained, the best around, and that usually women see the residents or interns. We discussed with him our deep desire for more children as well as our concerns about the ovarian cysts, which caused so much pain. He saw me two times before he demanded that I have surgery. This demand made via written note attached to a prescription for pain medication. The note reads, " No further pain medication unless laparoscopy". My husband had picked this note up at the doctor's office. It concerned him so much that he immediately made an appointment to discuss this with the doctor as well as bring in copies of all of my medical records. Up to this point, we had delivered some of the records and had given a very good oral history. My husband was fully aware that laparoscopic surgery was extremely dangerous for me and wanted this to be very clear to the doctor. The doctor wrote a prescription for only a few pills that were for very mild pain. Of course, this had little effect on my pain and the next time I saw him the pain was out of control. We honestly believe he planned this, as he was able to justify doing emergency surgery. He knew I had been in pain the past couple of weeks, he knew why, and he knew that by prescribing a lower dosage of pain medication in a smaller amount that my pain would be uncontrolled.
Dr. Michael insisted I have a laprascopic surgery and was so convinced I would that he prescheduled this without consulting us or asking our opinion. He scheduled surgery to take place one hour after our appointment during his lunch hour. I thought you were not supposed to eat or drink prior to surgery. I was not even told surgery was scheduled until I arrived at my normal appointment. He scheduled this surgery several days prior to my appointment. Richard and I asked him to look through my medical records although he stated there was no reason for him to. We asked him to call Dr. R and he stated he did not need to. We pleaded with him. Finally he picked up the huge stack of records and quickly began thumbing through them. He took out a highlighter and underlined a couple of sentences then put them back down. He told us he had seen the absolute worse possible cases of adhesions and that mine could not even come close to being as complex as those. We told him I could under no circumstances have laprascopic surgery. He stated I had to. I had no options or choices other than to return home in pain, as he would no longer help with the pain control if I refused the surgery. He made us feel irrational and ignorant. He told us how fortunate we were to have him. How remarkable he was. He pointed out his credentials. I told him, " I cannot have laprascopic surgery, you will perforate my bowel." I informed him all about my severe adhesions and past surgery. Word for word I cautioned him as Dr. R had cautioned me. I cried. I felt hopeless. I was afraid. I pleaded with him. He told me, "I’ve never perforated a bowel in my entire career and I don’t plan on starting now." He explained the risks of infection were far greater and I should be worried about that. I told him antibiotics took care of infection. He made me feel inferior and senseless for questioning his expert advice and authority. He told me even if he did perforate my bowel that bowels are constantly being perforated and doctors just stictch them up and the patient never even knows it. I ultimately in tears, turned to my husband and said, "I cannot make this decision. I don’t want a perforated bowel. You tell me what to do." Richard did not want me to have to go home and be in pain without relief. He felt blackmailed and stated, " I don’t know what to do. Karen, please don’t make me do this. Please don’t make me make this decision. He seems to be a good doctor. Maybe he knows what he is talking about. He’s got lots of experience it’s his expertise and he even teaches this procedure." It didn’t occur to us until later, but all the years we’d know Dr. R not once did he rave about his experience or his degrees. Not once did he back us into a corner without hope or options. Not once did he black mail us or try to persuade us to do something we felt was wrong. Dr. R was always hopeful and always gave us options. He was honest and never touted claims to fame. The way Dr. M raved that he was the greatest laprascopist in the state of XX and how dare we question his supreme authority and unerring professional wisdom. Richard has felt deep anguishing guilt since the surgery I underwent to fix M's butchering job(I refer to him simply as or M. To me he does not deserve to carry the title of Doctor).
I did not come to my conclusions or judgments about M ability as a surgeon immediately. I’m not like that. I tend to reserve judgment looking more toward a track record or history of events and behaviors prior to formulating any conclusions. By refusing to listen to the protests of myself and my husband, "M" put my life in imminent danger convincing us all the while that He was The best…The ONLY ONE … and that our trust and confidence needed to be in HIM alone. We were to ignore the warnings of the other surgeons and dismiss the advice and stern warnings given us. We were not to consider any prior pexperience |
