Chapter One

Stuart stood anxiously inside the train, waiting for its door so open. It had been months since he had last seen Vince, and now everything had changed. After all, Stuart was a college graduate now, ready to go on to a job at a PR firm, and Vince had his own flat. They were adults now, old enough to do whatever they wanted. Old enough to settle down, even.

Vince didn't know that Stuart thought things like that - not yet, at least. He didn't know that Stuart had turned down the prestigious job he had been offered in London so that he could work at Thrive in Manchester. He certainly didn't know that Stuart had had enough of the party life - or at least the promiscuous part of it - and was ready to have his first - and last - boyfriend.

All Vince knew was that he would have Stuart for the summer. He knew that Stuart wouldn't start his new job until late August, and so he would be staying with his parents in Manchester until then. Tomorrow night, when they were in Vince's flat, watching Dr. Who and eating curry, Stuart would tell Vince what was going on in his head.

Tonight, he had other plans. Romy, one of his few college friends, lived in Manchester, too, and wanted Stuart to come to her graduation party. Stuart had gone under the condition that he could bring Vince, too, and show off his best friend, who had only met Romy that once last year.

Finally, the train came to a stop. Stuart picked up his bags - heavy things, too, he mentally complained - and looked around for his best mate. He was standing on the platform right in front of him, staring into space. Stuart smiled. Vince could be such the twat. "Gone on holiday again, I see?" Stuart asked, bringing him out of his reverie.

"Stuart!" Vince exclaimed, throwing his arms around his best mate's neck. "God, I didn't even notice the train come. Sorry bout that. How was your trip? How are you? Here, let me take something."

He picked up two of Stuart's large bags - there were four in all - and carried them out of the station before Stuart had a chance to answer. Stuart picked up the other bags and listened as Vince continued to talk as they walked. "I rented a car, just for the day, since Bernie's not around and Marie wouldn't give us a ride. It was cheaper than a taxi, and I had a few extra quid. It's not much of a walk home if we took the buses, of course, but I really didn't fancy carrying your luggage through public transportation."

"Vince," Stuart said, shushing him for a moment.

Vince put the bags down beside the car he had rented and looked back to Stuart.

Stuart put his own bags down and gave him a proper hug. "You're such a twat," he said into Vince's ear, still embracing him. "Can't even give me a proper greeting before you start nattering on."

"I don't natter!" Vince said indignantly.

Stuart pulled back for a moment and just gave him a look.

Vince blushed. Stuart had missed that blush. "Well, maybe a bit," he conceded.

"A bit?" Stuart laughed and kissed him on the cheek. 'I missed you,' he thought, but he didn't say the words. Not yet. Later, when they were alone at Vince's flat. Instead, he smiled and asked impishly, "Let's get these into the car, then. Can I drive?"

"No way!" Vince told him, throwing the bags into the backseat. "At your speed? I'll be bringing the thing back in pieces, and have to pay for damages. I don't have that money."

"I'll be good," Stuart promised, coming up behind Vince to give him another hug. It wasn't until Stuart was climbing into the driver's seat that Vince realized that Stuart had used the maneuver to steal the keys from his pants pocket.

"Get out of there," Vince demanded. "I'm driving."

"Well, I have the keys, so it looks like I'm driving," Stuart said with a naughty grin. He didn't know why Vince was even trying - Stuart had already won, after all. "Now get in here and belt yourself up. It's been ages since I've been behind the wheel."

"Great, just what we need, like you'd not bad enough when in practice," Vince muttered loud enough for Stuart to hear as he climbed into the passenger seat.

Stuart gave him an evil look as he belted himself in. Then, as soon as he was restrained in his seat, Stuart pulled off his seatbelt, dove across the divider, and attacked. "Take it back!" he said and Vince bit his lip and tried ineffectively to squirm away from the tickling.

"No!" Vince cried. Stuart could tell that he was biting back another laugh. He couldn't help smiling maniacally, seeing his best mate like that.

"I'm a good driver! Take it back!" Stuart insisted.

Stuart's nimble fingers found the sensitive spot just above Vince's hips, and Vince suddenly cried out. "Okay, okay!" Vince said. "I take it back; you're not a bad driver!"

"That's what I thought," Stuart said, strapping himself back in and starting the car.

"You're a terrible driver," Vince said with a laugh as soon as Stuart was on the road and couldn't attack.

Stuart glared at him. "I'll get you for that, just wait."

"Promises, promises," Vince teased.

"So how are things here on the home front? Anything changes I should know about?" Stuart asked, effectively changing the subject. Stuart wouldn't forget the slight, though. He'd attack again - probably with more tickles - as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

"Same as always," Vince told him. "I told you about my new flat. Hazel's begun joining me and Alex down on the Street - isn't she a sight, too! She's mental, really. I don't know how I grew up with her for a mum."

Stuart snorted. Hazel was a better mum than anyone else he had ever met. Of course, he wouldn't say that aloud, not to Vince who might tell Hazel. "She's always been crazy. It runs in the family. All you Tylers are mental." Before Vince could protest, he asked, "And how are the shags lately? Let anyone pop your cherry yet?"

He hoped Vince didn't notice him holding his breath as he waited for an answer. He hoped - dear, God, please! - Vince hadn't found the guts to go for the full shag yet. He had lost his innocence long before he had met Vince, but he had always hoped that Vince would lose the last vestiges of his innocence to him. Even though he knew it wasn't fair to make Vince wait this long, he wanted to be Vince's first - first and last.

God, but as enticing as that idea was, it terrified him.

"Not yet," Vince said sheepishly.

"Coward," Stuart said in spite of himself. Secretly, he was relieved. Still, he kept taking the piss. "It's not even a big deal. You must be the oldest virgin on the Street!"

"It's not like I don't cop off!" Vince reminded him defensively. "I just don't go for the full fuck yet. I will, though."

"When?" Stuart asked. He smirked, knowing that it wouldn't be long - and that Vince would lose it to him when it happened. Well, as long as tomorrow night went as planned.

"Soon," Vince said. "Tonight, maybe."

"Nope, not tonight," Stuart told him. "We're going to a party tonight. A lesbian party."

"A - what? Why are we going to a lesbian party?" Vince asked, obviously more than a little shocked.

"Romy, the girl I introduced you to last spring, is having a graduation party tonight. Since she lives in Manchester, we're going."


"We?" Vince asked.

Stuart rolled his eyes. For some reason, Vince always expected Stuart to keep him away from his college friends, as if he would be embarrassed to be seen with a guy whose highest degree came from high school. "Yes, we. Do you think I'd be caught dead in a room full of munchers without someone to save me from the estrogen?"

That brought the smile back to Vince's face. "So I'm your savior for the night?"

Stuart liked the sound of that, even knowing that Vince was joking. "You could say that," he said. He eased off the accelerator and let the car cruise with traffic, trying to prolong his time alone with Vince.

***

It had been a great day, Vince had to admit. He had picked up Stuart, who was in a good mood for once; they had had tea at the Jones' and then Stuart had stayed behind to get ready while Vince went home to his flat. Just a little while ago, Vine had picked him up again, and now here they were, at a lesbian graduation party, which, despite a bit too much estrogen for Vince's tastes, was actually quite fun.

Well, except for one thing. When they had come in, Stuart had made sure to introduce Vince to everyone he knew, but then had been quickly stolen away by the hostess to talk in private. Vince was left on his own to deal with all the strange women, none of whom seemed to want anything to do with a man, even a gay man. Vince found his way to backyard and began walking around the garden, drink in one hand and mind wandering.

It reminded Vince just how much he had missed of Stuart's life while his best friend was at Uni. Stuart had friends Vince knew nothing about, and they had secrets Vince would never be privy to. It was never like this when they were in school together - they had always shared everything, and Vince thought that they always would.

So much of the day had been a disappointment, if Vince were honest with himself. He had thought that he and Stuart would spend this first night together, well, together. Alone, preferably, but even on the Street together would have been better than this. He had thought that now that Stuart was back and settling down in a real job, their relationship could evolve into something more - something Vince had always hoped it would eventually become.

He had thought that Stuart knew he was saving the full shag for Stuart, because Stuart was the only man he could ever love, romantic that he was. Stuart's reaction to Vince still being a virgin proved him wrong. It was obvious that Stuart didn't want Vince - he wanted, in fact, for Vince to be shagged by other men. That was a disheartening realization.

"There's nothing to tell!" Vince heard Stuart's familiar Irish lilt coming from somewhere above him, and he looked up to see an open window. He must be right below whatever private room Romy had taken Stuart away to. Despite his better judgment, Vince quietly crept closer to the window, straining to hear the conversation.

"Come on, Stuart, I know something's going on in that head of yours," Romy said sweetly. "You haven't stopped talking about him since I met you, you practically beg me to let him come, and now you tell me there's nothing there? I don't believe you for a minute, Stuart Jones."

"We're just mates, Romy, so stop it with your lesbian romance shite," Stuart snapped defensively.

Vince heard Romy sigh. "Stuart, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you. You two came in here, and it was like you were a different person, happy for once. I could see how you feel about him every time you looked at him -"

"You don't know shite," Stuart said vehemently. "Just because you want to live in this fairy-tale world of happily ever after where everyone falls in love, doesn't mean you have to drag me into it. I don't do love, remember? Vince and I are mates - best mates, but just mates. And even if we weren't, it wouldn't be your business, would it?"

Vince almost choked on his drink when he heard those words. That was what he was waiting for, wasn't it? That proclamation of friendship - that certainty that there wasn't - would never be - anything deeper between him and Stuart. He had never really believed it before, but now, faced with those words, he couldn't help but to believe it.

He wanted to run, to forget the pain in the realization. He might as well go for the full shag with some faceless stranger, just like Stuart; he might as well just shag his problems away.

Vince walked as calmly as he could back into the house, planning to pick up his jacket and leave, hopefully avoiding Stuart altogether. Unfortunately, Stuart and Romy were walking into the hall right in front of me.

"Vince!" Stuart smiled as soon as he saw him. He put an arm around Vince's neck companionably - too companionably for the words Vince had just heard. "Let's dance! Someone needs to show these dykes how to party!"

"I'm going Stuart," Vince said flatly.

"Where?" Stuart asked, suddenly serious and just this side of arsy.

"Canal Street," Vince told him. "Too many lesbians; I can't stand it."

Stuart nodded. "Can't say I don't blame you." He nodded to Romy. "We're getting out of here. Places to go, people to shag."

"Sure, Stuart," Romy said, giving him a hug. She gave a surprised Vince the same treatment. "It was nice to meet you. Hopefully next time there won't be so many people around, and we'll have a nice cuppa and compare notes on this bastard."

Vince forced out a smile for her. "Could do," he said.

"Come on," Stuart said, suddenly impatient. Vince noticed that he was at the closet and already had both his and Vince's jackets in hand. Vince took his and slipped it on.

"So why did you really want to leave?" Stuart asked with surprising concern as soon as they were outside and in Vince's rental car.

"It's nothing Stuart," Vince lied. "I just need a drink, and a shag, in that order."

Stuart gave him a strange look as Vince started up the car and drove down to Canal and Princess. "You're a twat, Vince," he said with his usual malice.

Yeah, I am, Vince agreed silently as he parked the car. Aloud he said, "So, Babylon, or would you rather Via Fossa first? It's early still, but not too early to dance."

"Babylon," Stuart told him. "It's been ages since we last danced."

Vince found a spot around the corner from Babylon to park the car, then got out and led them to his favorite club. He had only been here last night with Alex and Dane, but it felt like months. Stuart was right - it had been ages since they had danced together, and that would make this evening so much different from the past few months.

On the dance floor of the club, however, Vince couldn't bring himself to dance with Stuart for very long. Every time they danced, Stuart would begin to draw him in, trying to make Vince dance as close as possible, like they always had back when they were lads, before Stuart had gone to school.

But every time they got too close, Vince would remember what Stuart had told Romy back at her party, and he had to get away. He would pull away from Stuart's embrace without explanation and find another bloke to dance with. After the third time Stuart found him and convinced him to dance again, and the fourth time Vince had fled, Vince realized he needed something more to make him forget. The sea of sweat and muscle and music was usually enough for him, but not when Stuart was so close. Besides, he couldn't spend his life a virgin, waiting for a shag that would never happen.

Vince leaned into his current dance partner. He was a tall brunette with clear green eyes and a lean, muscular body. Perfect. Just the type of boy Stuart would have chosen to cop off with.

"Come back to mine?" Vince asked in a low, enticing voice.

The brunette - Andrew, Vince thought - flashed Vince a bright, sexy smile. "Sure," he said before grabbing Vince's hand and pulling him toward the door.

Vince stopped briefly at the bar to tell Stuart he was leaving. Andrew pulled him away before he saw the flash of anger and rejection in Stuart's eyes.

***

Back at his, Vince wasn't so sure this was a very good idea anymore. Andrew was pretty enough to look at, but he was rough, insistent - nothing at all like what Vince thought his first time would be like. Not that he wanted candles and romance - well, at least he wasn't expecting them - but he shouldn't there be, well, something more? Shouldn't this bloke be something more than a hot stranger?

He could always back out, just have a mutual blow job or wank - maybe sixty-nine the bloke, since he did go through the trouble bringing him back to his. He didn't have to go for the full fuck.

Who are you kidding? he asked himself. It's never going to be better than this - you and Stuart are never going to shag, so who else is there but strangers? Might as well get used to it now.

He would have sighed, but suddenly Andrew was kissing him, pressing him down on the bed, and clumsily pulling off his kit, all at once. Vince complied and even helped the other man pull clothes off until they were both naked and rubbing against each other.

At least his dick didn't seem to mind that it was a strange bloke he was rubbing - he was already hard and leaking pre-come, and Andrew took note. Andrew reached down to rub the head of Vince's penis, still a bit too rough, slicking the liquid over it. He lubed the fingers of the other hand and swiftly pressed a finger into Vince's hole, penetrating him without warning.

Vince had never had anything but his own fingers up there before, and then only when he was ready, so instead of feeling good, Andrew's thick digit hurt. Before Vince had even relaxed enough to accept it, Andrew was pressing another finger into him, then a third, all the time mumbling what he apparently thought were sexy phrases.

Vince didn't pay attention to them. All he could concentrate on was the pain, and forcing himself to relax.

"You want this don't you?" Andrew asked, turning Vince over onto his stomach. Vince heard a condom being opened, and winced in anticipation of what was to come.

This was painful. This couldn't be what sex felt like, or no one would ever want to bottom. Then again, he heard that the first time was always painful, so he decided to suck it up and nodded.

Without warning, Andrew's sheathed cock was pressing into him, hard and greedy. It didn't stop until it was all the way in. Andrew didn't even pause to ask him if he was alright; he immediately started pounding into Vince, moaning and panting.

Vince screwed his eyes shut and waited for it to be over. It was definitely the most painful experience he had ever had - he wasn't even hard anymore. Andrew touched his limp dick and murmured into his ear, "Already came did you? Had your fun without waiting for me? Time for me to have mine then."

He thrust into Vince one last time, and Vince could feel the warm liquid shooting into the condom. He quickly pulled out of Vince, turning him back around onto his back and giving him a charming grin.

"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did," Andrew said before giving Vince a quick kiss. He stood up, disposed of the condom, and began gathering his clothes and putting them on. "I've got to go - up early. We should do this again, though. Call me."

Vince could only watch as Andrew finished dressing, put a calling card on Vince's nightstand, and left. He didn't even seem to notice Vince's silence.

It took Vince a few moments to get up - God, but it hurt to move now, too! - and throw the card away. He should call Stuart, he thought, but he didn't want to hear his best friend's voice just now. Not only did he not have fun, but now he felt guilty for what he did. After all, he was saving himself for Stuart for so long, it felt like he was cheating on him to give another bloke the full fuck.

Besides, Stuart would ask questions, and he didn't want to answer them. Instead he lay back down on his bed and began to think.

Stuart would take the piss if he knew how much Vince didn't enjoy his first shag - tell Vince that he was pathetic, or he wasn't even a proper queer. Maybe that was right - if Vince didn't like sex with men, maybe he wasn't queer at all. Maybe he just wasn't meant to be with anyone. He was sure he'd never even get it up for a bird, but after that, he didn't think he could get it up for a man either. Maybe he was meant for celibacy.

Yeah, Stuart would love to hear that, he told himself. He'd be able to take the piss for years from that one alone. Bastard.

So he wouldn't tell his friend. He'd only tell Stuart that he shagged, and nothing more. Stuart didn't really need details anyway.

That decided, he found himself drifting to sleep. It hurt too much to get up and wash up, so he pulled the blankets over himself and let himself drift into painless oblivion.

***

Stuart sat across the table from Vince, eyeing his best friend. Something was off, and he didn't know what it was.

He and Vince were having lunch at Manto's for Vince's lunch hour, and Stuart was listening to him prattle on about the latest episode in his Dr Who collection. He waited for Vince to take a breath before asking, "So what happened with that bloke you went home with last night?"

"Didn't go homes with him," Vince said slowly. "I took him back to mine."

Stuart gave Vince a surprised stare before remembering that Vince had his own flat now and could take home whomever he liked. Not that Stuart liked the idea of Vince bringing strangers back to his flat, but that would be fixed by tonight.

Still, he smirked and teased his friend. "So, did you finally give in to fate and give him the full fuck?"

He was surprised by Vince's slow grin. "Yeah."

"Liar," Stuart said, hoping it was true. Vince was his - he was waiting for him, right? Didn't Vince know that?

"'Fraid not," Vince told him. "Little Vince is all grown up and shagging. Or being shagged, actually."

"Well, finally!" Stuart forced out with another fake smirk. Vince had shagged. He actually went for the full fuck with another bloke. Another bloke who wasn't Stuart. Maybe he wasn't waiting for Stuart. Maybe he didn't love Stuart after all, and maybe everything Stuart had planned tonight was a mistake. Despite himself, Stuart continued, "So are you coming out again tonight? Looking for a repeat performance?"

"Can't," Vince told him flatly. "I have work early tomorrow. I'm staying home tonight and getting some sleep."

"Come on, Vince," Stuart said, now upset by the idea of not having his friend to dance with at the clubs. "You never used to stay in for work. You can sleep when you're dead!"

"Well, now I have my own flat and a bit more responsibility than I used to - oh, shite!" Vince said suddenly, looking at his watch. "I had to be back at Harlo's five minutes ago!"

"Then you'd better get your arse in gear, Mr. Responsible," Stuart snarked.

Vince threw a few pound notes onto the table and all but sprinted out the door. Stuart watched him go, still not wanting to believe that Vince had actually shagged another bloke. "Well, fuck him," Stuart said aloud. He threw his own money on the table and walked out. If Vince didn't want him - if he wanted some stranger instead, and then was too good to even come out dancing with him - Stuart would find his own shag, and to Hell with all his plans of settling down!

It was a big world - a huge world - full of blokes in need of a good shafting. And if Vince didn't want him, Stuart was just the bloke to give it to them!


Chapter Two

Vince managed to keep away from Canal Street for a full two weeks after the incident with Andrew, or 'that night,' as he privately called it. Surprisingly, he had also managed to avoid both Stuart and his mother in that time. He had succumbed to a steady routine of waking, working, coming home to veg out in front of the TV, and going to bed much earlier than anyone his age should ever consider, though he usually spent his time lying awake, and never slept soundly for more than an hour or so in a night. He knew he was acting like the old man Stuart had accused him of being that afternoon when he begged off going out tonight, but he didn't care.

He didn't want to go to the Street, not ever again. It was obvious that he wasn't as gay as he always thought; that he wouldn't fit in there because he wasn't really queer, because he didn't like sex between men.

Stuart was right about that last week when he was complaining about Vince not coming out. Vince was straight. He was a boring straight man who just happened to find men attractive.

Damn but he was confused. What was wrong with him that he didn't like shagging? Didn't all men like shagging?

He sighed and changed the channel. Nothing on was sparking his attention, so he turned the set off. He considered putting in a tape, but that required too much thought and energy. No, maybe he would just go to bed early.

He looked at the clock. Eight-fifteen. At least it was already dark out. He really was sad, though, to be going to bed this early. He really didn't want to do much of anything else.

There was a knock on his door. He didn't want to see anyone, so he ignored it. Maybe if he kept quiet whoever it was would go away.

Then again, knowing his mother and best friend, he probably wasn't that lucky.

They knocked again and Vince went into the bedroom so they wouldn't see him immediately if they forced their way in. They'd still check the bedroom, but maybe he'd have a chance to hide.

Or he'd pretend to be asleep. That was a good idea, he decided, turning off the bedroom light. He pulled off his shoes and socks and fell onto his bed, face first, pretending he had been exhausted enough after work today to just come in and pass out.

He wasn't surprised when, just a few minutes later, he heard keys jangling and the flat door opening. It must be Hazel, then. She was the only other one with keys to Vince's flat, and they were only to be used in an emergency. Though he could see how his disappearing for two weeks with only the occasional hurried call from work could be taken for an emergency of sorts.

"Vince?" The voice calling his name was a clear tenor, not Hazel's shrill shout. Stuart's voice; Hazel must have given him her keys. "Vince, are you here? I don't know my way around here yet, you bastard, since you've never invited me over. Vince?"

He heard Stuart opening a few other doors before he reached the bedroom. Vince tried his hardest to feign sleep when the living room light poured over him.

"Asleep already?" Stuart asked, his voice softer than it had been. "You really are a sad bastard." Vince didn't hear Stuart move, but suddenly the bed sank as his friend sat down beside him, running his fingers through Vince's hair. Even with his eyes closed, he knew Stuart was peering down at him, taking in his haggard appearance. He knew from his reflection in the mirror that his face was pale and his hair limp, and that there were dark, baggy circles under his eyes. He just hoped that the relative darkness of the room hid the worst of it.

Apparently not, because Stuart's next words were uttered softly, but with a hint of anger beneath them. "Jesus, Vince, what are they doing to you at that store? You look like shite."

"Thanks," Vince murmured, pretending to wake up.

To Vince's disappointment, Stuart stopped stroking his hair and pulled his hand away.

"How'd you get in here?" he asked lazily, doing his best to act sleepy. It wouldn't do to have Stuart know he was awake the whole time - he would just get a bollocking for not answering the door. "Why're you here?"

"Hazel gave me her key," Stuart told him, confirming his suspicions. "And I'm here because I haven't seen you for two weeks. Damn it! You're supposed to be my best friend, and I've been home from Uni for all of seventeen days, and I only saw you for the first two! Where have you been?"

Vince sat up and rubbed his eyes, then leaned over to turn on the soft lamp beside his bed. "I've been busy with work, Stuart. You know that."

"Then bin the job, Vince. You're too good for them anyway; you should be in Uni, or working somewhere where you can use your brain - not working seven days a week at a supermarket where they think they can fuck you raw without lube."

"I can't," Vince explained, not for the first time in the past three years since he had been forced to drop out of Uni. "I need the money for my flat. Hazel needs me to make money for the mortgage. I told you; I have responsibilities now, Stuart."

"You're fucking twenty-two, Vince! You can't have that many responsibilities!" Stuart yelled, making Vince wince. Then his tone softened to something a little more like desperation. "Why are you avoiding me, Vince?"

"I'm not avoiding you," Vince lied. He was a terrible liar. He always had been. he tried just dismissing Stuart. "I'm going back to sleep. We'll talk tomorrow, yeah? Lunch?"

"This wasn't how I thought this would go," Stuart told him.

"How what would go?" Vince asked, suddenly lost.

"Everything. Me coming back from Uni - me and you, in the same city again."

"What did you think would happen?" Vince asked. He knew Stuart had missed him at school - well, he had when he wasn't occupied with his new friends, or his shags, or even his studies - but he didn't think it would affect Stuart too much for him to be out of touch for a while. Especially not after what he had heard Stuart tell Romy.

"Dammit, Vince!" Stuart swore, suddenly up and pacing. "I was expecting some time with my best friend, to talk to ya and drink with ya and dance with ya. I was expecting to be with ya, you dumb twat!"

"I've just been busy," Vince said. He knew it sounded banal - but it was all he could think of to say.

Stuart looked at him and shook his head. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" Now Vince was really lost.

Stuart sighed and leaned down on the bed, hovering just over Vince. He paused for a moment, then pressed his lips forcefully against Vince's, sweeping his tongue into his mouth with bruising force. A second later he was pulling away again, staring at Vince intently.

"Oh, that," Vince said lamely.

Stuart's mouth twitched into an ill-concealed grin, then his shoulders began shaking with silent laughter.

"You really are a twat," he said, giggling.

Vince gave a shy smile and waited for him to continue.

"Did you really think I'd be coming back just to shag strange blokes? That I wouldn't want to be with you once I was out of Uni and into the real world? Why did you think I came back here instead of taking a job in London? For the shags?"

Vince remembered what Stuart had told Romy, though; he knew the truth of the situation. "What are you doing, Stuart?" he asked accusingly.


"What does it look like I'm doing?" Stuart said with a wicked grin before leaning in to give Vince another kiss.

Vince pushed him away before their lips met. "I heard what you told Romy," he said. "You don't do love, and you don't want me - just mates, right? So what are you trying to do Stuart? I don't want to be another shag to you."

Stuart's face fell with Vince's words. "You heard that?" he asked, his voice suddenly softer than usual.

"Yeah, I heard," Vince said sadly, looking down at his hands. He didn't want to look at Stuart, not right now.

"Dammit!" Stuart swore harshly. "Vince - Vince look at me!"

Almost against his will, Vince looked up at his best friend. He reluctantly met his eye.

Stuart took a breath. "I didn't mean it," he said finally.

"Then why did you say it?" Vince asked.

Stuart looked down and began worrying his pinky nail as was his habit. "She backed me into a corner. I didn't have much choice, did I? What was I supposed to do? Tell her I love you before I told you?"

"You - what?" Vince was certain he had misheard Stuart.

Suddenly Stuart was ginning that infuriating grin again. He always did love to see a flustered Vince. "I love ye, Vince. And I know you love me, too, don't ye?"

Vince opened his mouth to speak, then hurriedly closed it. Of course he did - he always had - but he couldn't. He couldn't give Stuart what he needed. Moments of that night with Andrew kept flashing through is head. He had hated it. He didn't want that, never again. Stuart was meant to shag, though, and if he couldn't give Stuart what he obviously needed -

No. He couldn't admit his feelings to Stuart. It would just made everything harder: more complicated.

Stuart must have read the unease on Vince's face. "Vince?" he asked, his voice suddenly worried. "You do love me, don't you? I'm not wrong?"

Vince stared down at his hands, unable to meet Stuart's eyes. "I can't."

"Can't what? Love me? Be with me?" The hurt in Stuart's voice was obvious even though he tried to cover it with anger.

Vince felt his heart breaking from Stuart's words. Before Stuart could get up and swan off, he grabbed his hands. "Of course I love you," he said, looking down at their interlaced fingers. He couldn't stop the words anymore than he could stop loving Stuart. He had to make sure his position was clear, though. "I can't be in a relationship with you, though."

"Well why the fuck not?"

Oh, this was not good. Stuart was going to start screaming soon. He was going through too many emotions, and he didn't deal well with emotions; he usually dealt with them by fighting. Vince wasn't sure he could handle a screaming Stuart, not now. He had to tell Stuart the truth - better to deal with him taking the piss than screaming. Well, sort of.

"I - when I went for the full shag with Andrew, I hated it. I'm not liked you Stuart. I don't want sex all the time. I don't know if I ever want sex again."

Instead of teasing, or even shouting, Vince found himself faced with a silent, confused Stuart. "So you can't be with me because you had a bad shag?" he asked eventually.

"Didn't you hear me Stuart?" Vince sighed. "I don't like sex with other men. I may as well be straight. I didn't even come from it."

"No, you didn't like sex with one man," Stuart drawled. Vince looked up to see his friend's seductive leer. "That doesn't mean anything between you and me."

"Stuart," Vince began to protest, but Stuart had already made up his mind. He pressed Vince down onto the bed, hungrily kissing him into silence as he lowered his body onto Vince's.

One hand stayed on Vince's shoulder to hold him down as the other roamed until it found Vince's already hardening cock. "May as well be straight, Vince? I don't think so."

Vince couldn't come up with a retort, so he grabbed Stuart's head and pulled him down for another kiss. Kissing was good. He liked kissing, and he was damn good at it. He had been told.

After a moment, Stuart pulled away and said, "I'm going to make this so good for you. Will you let me, Vince? Will you let me show you how good this can be?"

Vince barely heard him, as his attention was caught be the hands opening his zipper and sliding into his boxers. One traced the curve of his arse, and the other cupped his naked groin. Overcome with sensation, it was all he could do to pant, "Please."

Stuart smiled and began to kiss his way down Vince's chest. "Nice," he murmured after opening the buttons of his shirt and pushing it off him to reveal Vince's pecs. Vince reached down to trace the lines of Stuart's back, but Stuart grabbed his hand and pinned them to his sides. "No," he said into the hot flesh of Vince's stomach. "You relax. Let me do the work this time."

This time, Vince thought. He was excited by the prospect of a next time.

Visions of Andrew pressing into him flashed through his head again, and his arse muscles involuntarily tightened at the memory of pain. No - there wouldn't be a next time. There probably wouldn't be a this time, either.

Before he could voice his objections, Stuart pulled his pants and boxers all the way down, and Vince hissed at his genitals' sudden exposure to cold air.

"Somebody's grown since the high school locker rooms," Stuart almost sing-songed, giving Vince's cock a look of appraisal. Vince's only response was a moan as he felt the Stuart's mouth cover his head.

Vince was still writhing under the ministrations of Stuart's mouth when he felt a slicked finger push into him. He was surprised at the gentleness of the touch. It didn't hurt at all, he realized - and then he stopped thinking when Stuart's finger slipped in far enough to touch a spot he had never known existed. He pressed down on the finger, silently pleading for more.

"Calm down, Vince," Stuart told him, lifting his head and making his way back up Vince's stomach and chest, speaking between long, soft kisses. "That feels good, doesn't it? That's the prostate they talk so much about. I'm going to put in another finger, and it's going to stretch a bit. It might be a little uncomfortable at first, but I won't hurt you. Can't hurt you, Vince. Not like this."

Vince couldn't think much past the finger pressing down on that spot, so he nodded mutely, anxious for more.

Stuart was right. The second finger did stretch a bit, but he was slow and gentle enough to not actually hurt Vince. And it didn't much matter when all feeling was eclipsed by two fingers pressing on his prostate.

"Stuart," Vince managed to pant out after a moment.

"Does that feel good?" Stuart asked, smirking in a way that told Vine he already knew the answer. He leaned in and kissed Vince deeply on the lips before asking, "Are you ready for a third? It'll hurt a little more, but it will prepare you for my cock. Do you want my cock in you Vince? Feeling me so deep in ye, you can read my thoughts?"

Vince wanted it - wanted it badly - but he also remembered the pain of the last time. He couldn't handle Stuart inside him - physically, he couldn't. Stuart must have seen that his words weren't turning Vince on, but scaring him. "I won't hurt you, Vince," he repeated forcefully. "I promise. I know what I'm doing here, though. Do you trust me enough to make this good?"

Part of Vince wanted to say no, but he couldn't. After all, he loved Stuart. He had to trust him. "Yes," he panted softly.

"Relax," Stuart told him as a third finger joined the first two. It did hurt - but again, not as much as Andrew had hurt. And again he felt pressure on his prostate, driving away the pain.

"Fuck me," he demanded when he could finally manage them, surprising himself with the words. He meant them, though. He would do anything - even deal with a bit of pain - to have Stuart's cock inside him, pounding into him. Something told him that that would feel infinitely better than these three fingers, talented as they were.

"You sure, Vinnie?" Stuart asked, obviously as surprised as Vince. Vince watched as Stuart pulled off his kit, waiting for a response.

"Please," Vince begged, staring at a now naked Stuart. He was beautiful, a living Adonis.

"Alright, but you're going to have to move," Stuart told him. He leaned down for another kiss before continuing. "I want to watch you, see you're face as you come, but that's harder on you. We'll go face-to-face another time, but for now you lay on your stomach." He directed Vince onto his stomach, his hips propped up on a pillow.

Vince hated not being able to see Stuart, but feeling him lying on top of him, a warm weight on his back, almost made up for it. "Ready, Vince?" Stuart asked.

He nodded. Stuart began pressing kisses on his back and shoulders as he positioned himself at Vince's entrance. Then, just as he pressed in, he breathed, "I love you," into Vince's ear.

Even after hearing it just a few minutes ago, Vince was in such shock at the confession that he barely noticed Stuart breaching him. It also didn't hurt that Stuart had taken such a long time preparing him. There was a stretch there, but not nearly what he had felt with Andrew's somewhat smaller cock.

Stuart waited a moment before he began thrusting into Vince, hitting his prostate on each move in and out. Between that and the hand expertly working his cock, Vince found himself coming in just a few minutes. He would have been embarrassed at his hastiness, but Stuart came right behind him, almost simultaneously.

Vince was still on his stomach, panting, after Stuart pulled out, disposed of the condom, and cleaned the both of them off as well as he could with a flannel. "You need to turn over so I can get your stomach," he told Vince gently. It was all Vince could do to acquiesce and allow Stuart to press the warm, damp flannel to his stomach and chest, cleaning him. The pillow he had been on was thrown onto the floor. Vince would clean it tomorrow. He was tired now. He closed his eyes and started to drift, though he wasn't truly sleeping.

A moment later, he felt Stuart curl up in front of him. He opened his eyes to see black curls - the head they were attached to was nuzzling into his shoulder. "Love you, Vince," Stuart told him again.

Vince smiled and wrapped his arm around his lover. "Love you, too, Stuart."

"You're not really straight, are you?"

Vince laughed. Even now, Stuart couldn't stop teasing him. "No, I'm not straight Stuart. I promise."

"Good," Stuart told him. "You're mine, then."

Vince didn't know how he felt about Stuart's possessive streak, but he decided not to argue. They could talk tomorrow. For now, he was ready to sleep.

He closed his eyes again and let himself be lulled to sleep by Stuart's soft breathing.