I picked up a smallsword and tested its weight. The smallsword wasn't my favorite; I definitely preferred the rapier, but it'd have to do. "I'll help you get used to the blade. This should only take about five minutes." I ran through some of the bare basics of fencing (learned mostly by ovservation from television, but Zorro's a really good teacher) while Robert tested some tricks with his blade. In several minutes, I declared the boy ready to fight, despite his repeated profane threats toleave immediately and call a psychiatrist.
Hastily, Robert pulled out the handkerchief and tied it to the knuckle-guard on his weapon. I raced into the playground's main structure, lifting up the skirt, and too my place ina tower. I took out a tissue-paper flower and held it delicately while I leaned against the railing to watch. There was a small bit of conversation that I couldn't make out between the two young men and they looked toward me. Robert gave a short laugh and the boy said something vulgar about the stupidity of it all. Robert turned to the boy and gave a sharp salute and got a weakly raised sword in return. Then Robert turned to me and said, "I fight for you, my lady, in the name of honor."
"And may you have victory, kind sir, in the name of honor," I replied, trying not to giggle.
Robert gave an even sharper salute with his blade then turned back to his opponenet and struck upon a fighting stance. The boy tried to mimic him and failed miserably. I buried my head in my hands. The boy had learned nothing. "En garde," Robert cried and lunged. The boy leaned to the side and lost his balance. He crumpled onto the ground. By now, half the sky was already showing stars.
Robert thrust at the boy, trying to take advantage of his fall. Unfortunately, he missed by about an inch as teh boy rolled to the side. That seemed to be when the reality of the fight hit him. Robert was about to take another thrust when he stopped himself. On the ground as he was, the boy could easly have defended himself but now he was trying to pull himself up. For the moment, the boy was almost completely distracted. Instead of taking advantage and "slaying" him there, Robert did the most honorable thing and extended his hand to the boy for aid. The boy looked at him blankly, and I beleive he said something unpleasant, and then took Robert's hand. But he didn't get up. Instead, he tugged as hard as he could, knocking Robert off his feet. I gasped slightly. That was not supposed to happen.
Then the boy resorted to the easier way he could think of to win the duel. He tried street fighting, even though he was obviously no good at it. Luckily, Robert and I had trained in all sorts of old forms of close combat, and hand-to-hand was among them. The two began to tumble together, each trying to gain teh upper hand with a punch or swing, though Robert was trying mostly to just degend himself rather than hurt the boy. I flew down the various ladders and stairs and rushed to them. "Stop this, stop this!" I cried, trying to separate them. "This isn't how you're supposed to fight! Have you two no honor?"
Robert stopped for a moment to listen. He always was the gentleman. Unfortunately, this put him on the bottom. Shouting a string of profanities, the boy raised his fist in preparation for delivering a heavy punch to Robert's head. I raced to stop him before he started, but I was too late. Luckily, Robert raised an arm as defensively as he could and moved his head in a way that would assure that he would be hit nt eh forehead if the blow struck. His arm, the left one, took the full force of the blow, probably leaving a terrible red mark. I grabbed the boy and, with all my strength, pulled him off of Robert. Robert began to massage his bruise as I struggled with the boy.
"Honor!" I shouted. "This is for honor, so act like it, for goodness' sake!" the boy only screamed more vulgar language at me. "Honor!" I crided in reply as he landed a blow on my shoulder in his struggling. I todded him down, ignoring my shoulder. "Remember the rules," I told him, and explained the way gentlemen should behave when they fight.
Robert slowly got up and I turned to him. "Do you want to go on? I won't hold it against you. Can you go on?" I asked.
Robert winced. "For you, my lady," he said, "I would do anything."
I helped the boy get up and then stepped between the two. "All right," I said, "let's try this again. This time let's do it right."
"When will you two stupid nerds grow up?" the boy sneered.
"Never, I hope, if growing up means being like you," I retorted. He dubbed me with another profane name to which I simply smiled innocently. I left them and went to my tower where I'd left the flower. The two guys went and retrieved their swords, which had been forgotten when they started brawling. This time they did do it right. The duel was rather uneventful, but of course there was no blood to make it particularly riveting. It was like watching them practice. Finally, Robert shoved the boy against a tree trunk. I dashed down once more, this time to get a better view. This was the point where terms of surrender would be set.
Robert put the edge of the wooden sword at the boy's throat, scoring the winning points, and the boy dropped his sword. "Your word is your bind. Promise me that you will never insult my lady again," he demanded. "Promise me that you will at least try to be courteous henceforth."
"Why should I [profanity] do that?" he said. "I don't have to [bad word] promise you nothing."
"Yes you do," I said, ignoring the offensive terms. "You lost the duel, and you're at Robert's mercynow. He may do as he pleases, by the classical rules, and you must do as he says."
"All I ask is that you try, and that you do not ever insult my lady again," Robert said. The boy nodded, bu I suspected he didn't mean it. He was too easily complacent, but I didn't want to tell Robert that. "Very well," said Robert, and he bakced off graciously. I took my gloves from teh boy and Robert collected the rapiers. "You may go now," he said to the boy.
I looked at the sky. The last traces of twilight were fading. I shoved all the wood weapons back into the duffel and handed the flower to Robert. He took it with a hansome smile, and slipped it into his sword belt.
I smiled back, bt only briefly. I went to pick up the duffel but Robert took it from me. "Why, thank you, kind sir and brave hero," I said, having fun with titles.
"It is my duty, most fair lady," he replied silkenly. We stopped about halfway to the edge of the playround and faced each other. Robert took my hand and said, "You have brought me honor this day."
I looked down at his boots, wondering how to phrase my question best. "You know the umm, the uh, the dance... Would you--I mean..." The most uncomfortable part was that I was trying to play the man's role here. With Robert, that never worked well. It didn't fit well with the chivalry.
"Would I escort you to the dance?" he said, rescuing me from embarrassment. A flood of relief came over me as he lifted my hand slwoly. "Why, I would be delighted to have such an honor. Surely, I do not deserve so fair a lady, and yet I would as one more favor in return for defending your honor."
"Name it, kind sir," I said, playing the game again.
"I would be honored if you would allow me to guard you against the perils of the night upon your journey to your castle," he said, still holding my hand. A smile flickered on his face.
"The honor would be mine, o bravest of knights in shingin armor."
