-You believe every dog is a lap dog.
-If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.
-You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but none of your kids.
-You often claim it was love at first site with you and your dog.
-You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.
-You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog.
-No matter how large your bed is, it is not big enough for you and your dog(s).
-You spend more on food and clothes for your dog than you do for yourself.
-You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you know where they been.
-You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood.You know there names.
-You let the neighbor's dog sleep over.
-You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.
-Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.
-When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.
-You sit on the floor if the dog gets the chair first.
-You talk to your dog when driving.He answers.
-Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over.
-Okay, the dog is allowed in the house ,but not in certain rooms.
-The dog is allowed in all rooms, but not allowed on the furniture.
-The dog can get on the old furniture only.
-Fine the dog is allowed on all furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with humans on the bed.
-Okay, the dog is allowed to sleep on the bed, but only by invitation.
-The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
-The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
-The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
-Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.
2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
3. Remove puppy from rash and remove coffee grounds from muzzle.
4. Choose a suitable backround for photo.
5. Mount camera on tripod, check flash and focus.
6. Find puppy and take dirty socks from mouth.
7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
9. Focus with one hand while fending off puppy with other.
10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lense.
11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on scratch on puppy's nose.
12. Put magazines back on coffee table.
13. Try to get puppy's attention by squeeking toy over your head.
14. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
15. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say-"No, no outside!"
16. Call spouce to help claen up the mess.
17. Fix a drink.
18. Sit back in chair, put your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" first thing in the morning.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dogfolks are to bewre of?"
"Yep, thats him," he replied.
The stanger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly don't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign."
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign people kept tripping over him."