Peter In The Past
These are photos of Peter that have appeared on the site in the past few weeks. Because of limited webspace only the creme de la creme of Peter photos can be stored here. Sooorrrrryyyyyyy!!!
Week 1:
As the site is still only a baby *all* of the previous Peter photos can be archived. If you missed them first time round, think yourself lucky you got to see them...
First off, Peter was caught, live on camera, making a surprise performance at a Bis gig in Ireland earlier in the week. No-one is sure how this came about, as he was once allegedly quoted as saying "Bis are pants as slimey dolphin pants!", but it looks like all differences are water under the bridge. It is also believed Peter and Bis have been writing songs together. Song titles currently being thrown about include "Londoners Love Lollipops", "Kung-Fu Down The Strand" and "Sweet Shop Knees Up".
Secondly, a photo was revealed this week that it is believed Peter had tried to keep from the world. It is of he, in the mid 90s girl-rock band Kenickie. In the picture it appears Peter does have actual breasts and a bit of a female figure, sparking rumours that he may have been a transexual... but these rumours are unfounded. We think he just used to be a little effeminate. It is unsure whether Peter recorded any material with Kenickie during his time with the band, although it is common knowledge that they used to have a song called "Peter Doherty is a transexual god." Allegedly.
In another shock move, Doherty was caught on camera playing guitar with the Manics, taking the place of missing guitarist Richey Edwards. It appears that he even decided to go the whole hog and delve into Mr Edwards's wardrobe. This is also suprising as in the past Peter has been quoted, allegedly, as saying "Yellow shirts and tight white levis are for ninnies. And those Manic Street Preachers are a bunch of wusses. I'd eat my cat before I played guitar with them". This has also sparked concern over the safety of Peter Doherty's pet cat Mildred. The RSPCA are believed to be involved.
Elsewhere Peter was photographed being a roadie for Aussie rock group - The Vines. This comes as no suprise to us as in the past Peter has been, allegedly, quoted as saying "Wow The Vines, I love them! They rock my world. I listened to them once and they made my head fall off. That's always a good sign. That happened when I heard The Kinks for the first time too. And The Smiths. And The Prodigy. And The Spice Girls. And Daphne And Celeste. And Shampoo."
We also noticed something all the other music rags and tabloids appear to have overlooked, the fact that Peter Doherty appears in the video for Kelly Osbourne's "Shut Up" single. In the video he plays guitar in Kelly's backing band, at times she is pictured singing with Peter face to face as Carl and Peter are seen regularly doing onstage. This is fuelling the rumour that Carl is going to leave the Libertines and that Kelly Osbourne will take his place. Rumours are also circulating of romantic links between Peter and Kelly. When asked about this Peter allegedly said "I love her Dad, I think he and Black Sabbath made some of the best music of the 80s. I love heavy metal. I used to be a metaller you know. But there's nothing going on with me and Kelly. She's only 12 init!"
Almost seemingly to prove his love for early 90s girl pop band who are still big in Japan - Shampoo - Peter appeared in a promo photo of theirs, leaning on Jacqui Shampoo's breast. This sparked rumours of a romance in the Libertines - Shampoo camp, a rumour that has been quashed by both parties on every occasion. Jacqui has been, allegedly, quoted as saying "We fuck every now and then, and Peter likes my breasts. That's all. That hardly constitutes a relationship does it." When Peter was asked about said relationship he echoed Jacqui's comments, allegedly quoted as saying "We fuck every now and then, and Jacqui likes my breasts. That's all. That hardly constitutes a relationship does it.".
Finally photographers caught Peter Doherty playing live with his shirt off, with Marilyn Monroe stamps on his chest. We believe it was meant to be a tribute to one of his favourite artists of all time, Marilyn Manson, but the stamp makers got the pictures mixed up, and Peter - the trusting fellow that he is - didn't think to check the stamp people had got the picture correct before having it stamped all over his body. We still think it looks ace though. Rumour has it that post-gig, when he had realised the mistake he went insane and would only speak in German for 14 days. Allegedly.
And for a final farewell,we have managed to get our hands on this *EXCLUSIVE* picture of Shampoo onstage with The Libertines at a gig this week. It is common knowledge that Peter is a massive fan of the band Shampoo. He has previously claimed that his head fell off when he first heard them, which he claims to be a good thing. He has recently been romantically linked with Jacqui Shampoo, and he also claims that the Shampoo song "Girl Power" inspired him to write songs and form a band. He admitted that for fifteen years he believed their song "Trouble" was actually written about his twenty first birthday.