Teh Log Intro.

INTRO                                                                                                      

~ Welcome to Teh Log.  Teh Log is a place where I can write anything I want, whenever I want, however I want, and most importantly...  IN WHATEVER COLOR I WANT!!!!  So.  Many of you (haha, "many of you", as if there will ever be more than 2 people looking at this site at once) may have seen or currently use a LiveJournal.  Thats basically what this is, only no logging in for me.  

~ Teh Log will contain entries or "posts"... Each will contain info such as post number, date, time post was started, time post ended, name of author, etc...  The times are to show just how long it usually takes me to get something done.  It could take up to 12 hours just to type a paragraph..  The authors name is there because I plan on offering guest entries to those I feel deserve one (or two, or three, etc.)...

~ First, you might want to know about me.  My name is Brandon.  I'm 16 (November 19, 1986).  I'm currently a senior in high school.  I have very little motivation, and even less self-esteem.  I do drugs and drink, even though I'm not of legal age.  I am your typical rebellious teen, only most of my rebellious acts are done without a partner in crime, because I have few friends (in this town).  I'm currently in the process of "blending in" with my "new" town (if 1 year and 4 months is considered "new")...  The "blending" process is not going as smoothly as planned.

~ And now, on with Teh Log.

Brandon.

                                                                                                      INTRO

 

Teh Log.

026                                                                                                          

~ Thursday, November 6, 2003, 7:34 PM to 8:05 PM

"Dude, the Matrix is so gay...  Seriously."

The Matrix...  PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

I haven't even seen the third installment in the Matrix series but I have been reading a bunch of spoiler pages and pages containing theories on the Matrix...  From what I've read on spoiler sites, it seems the third movie raises more questions than it answers.

But, going back to the first movie:

So, we've established that the Matrix is a program that simulates what we believe is the real world, when really humans are being harvested in huge "crops" and being used as "batteries" to supply the machines with energy.

First off...  Does it really make sense to HARVEST (IE: increase the number of) your only formidable opponent?  Why wouldn't the machines use a more docile species like sheep?  The chances of a sheep uprising are slim to none, but they could provide just as much (if not more) thermal energy to power the machines...  And why couldn't these machines just have used nuclear power instead?  Surely true A.I. would be able to see the advantages of such an efficient form of energy and work out the kinks not solved by human brains...

Secondly.  What exactly is the POINT of the machines' existence?  What are their motives?  Are they off conquering other planets or something?  From what they show us in the movie, they're just kind of...  Sitting around, picking humans (when they're not fighting that is).  One could understand the desire for power, but how are these machines advancing their race?

Third.  Why even go through the trouble of creating the Matrix in the first place?  From "conception", humans are trapped in their little bubbles, unaware that anything out of the ordinary is taking place...  What is the point in creating a dream world for them?  Surely the machines don't just feel sorry for humans.  Unlike Steven Spielberg/Stanley Kubrick's take on artificial intelligence, I tend to believe it would be impossible for machines to ever display human traits such as compassion.

Now for some theories regarding Reloaded:

Something interesting I read on a site.  Anyone remember in the first movie, when the camera is approaching a bunch of television screens with video feed of Neo being interviewed by the agents?  Those screens look familiar?  Lots of people think those screens are the same screens seen in the Source, where the Architect resides.  That would mean the Architect has been watching Neo since before Morpheus and his crew supposedly "freed" his mind...

Wouldn't his monitoring Neo give him enough information to be able to whip up another Matrix?  The whole reason Zion exists is to fake humans into believing they have a choice, something that was left out of previous failed versions of the Matrix.  Zion isn't actually part of the real world, it is still part of the Matrix.  This explains why Neo is able to stop the sentinels at the end of Reloaded.  This explains why the sentinels know the location of Zion.  This explains why Smith is able to exist in the "real world" as Bane.  None of these things should be possible in the real world.  Neo should have NO super-human powers outside of the Matrix.  In the real world, Neo is just a normal person.  His only advantage is he is able to manipulate the Matrix (the digital world) as he sees fit.

99% of people given the choice (red pill, blue pill) would choose to carry on their existence in the Matrix due to fear of the unknown.  Those who reject the "reality" of the Matrix would be "freed" and taken to Zion.  The Architect knew this from previous failed versions of the Matrix, and incorporated Zion to house those fighting against the machines.  What better way to monitor a rebel force than to GIVE them a safe haven where they believe they are free and safe?  Five previous versions of the Matrix had been destroyed because humans were never given free will.  The newest version of the Matrix give humans "simulated free will" (which is actually an oxymoron, but you get the idea).  In reality, they were never given a choice to leave the Matrix... They are simply in a Matrix WITHIN a Matrix (the MWAM theory).

I could go on for days, I really could.

I don't know, just some things I've been wondering after a few hours of reading...  By the way, I've posted this at numerous internet forums, almost word for word.  If you see something like this, don't send me e-mails telling me I stole ideas.  I formed my opinions after reading numerous sites and different theories concerning the Matrix.  Fuck you if you think otherwise...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          026

 

025                                                                                                          

~ Thursday, November 6, 2003, 7:27 PM to 7:33 PM

I REMEMBER YOU GUYS!

... Hi.

*dodge, dive, roll*

HEY, STOP THROWING SHIT.  I'm sorry OK?  Almost an entire month without updating.  I'm a busy guy, what can I say?  Not a moment went by during my absence that I didn't think about you guys...  The times we spent together.  Those were special times for me.  Sometimes late a night, I touch myself at the very thought of you reading my most intimate confessio-...  ANYWAYS.

Not sure if these updates will continue regularly...  But I'll try.  Lots of interesting advancements in my life since the last time I updated, might have to let you in on all the juicy little details.

Tonight there will be two updates.  This one, explaining my absence, and the second, explaining why I hate the Matrix series.  Enjoy...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          025

 

024                                                                                                          

~ Monday, October 13, 2003, 8:03 PM to 9:04 PM

Balls.

What the fuck.  I don't even update anymore.

So yeah.  I'm under the impression my coffee maker and microwave are plotting against me.  Every time I walk from my room to the kitchen I can hear them "talking" with their damned household appliance inter-communication bullshit...  One beep is most definitely the timer function on the coffee machine, the other is easily identifiable as the alert function on my microwave.  And of course when I walk in the room, they shut up and just act like they weren't talking about me.  Whatever, fuck them.  It's only a matter of time before they turn the refrigerator against me too...

Also, you know what commercial is stupid?  Those Tampax tampons ones, the ones for those new "discreet" designed tampons that are smaller than regular ones...  The tagline is "So discreet, only YOU'LL know it's a tampon"...  Do they think ONLY girls watch TV?  Of course now I know it's a tampon since you plastered it all over the airwaves.  *taps head*  You gotta think about stuff like this.

Also, my e-mail is fucked up, I don't expect it to be back up anytime soon, and there's no way in hell I'm opening up another account, so for now Teh Rant is closed...  Until further notice.

This entry took FAR too long to write.  Goddamn interruptions...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          024

 

023                                                                                                          

~ Monday, October 6, 2003, 5:16 AM to 5:39 AM

The human race is safe...

So I got to thinking...

If Earth were ever invaded by an alien species, who's to say their first strike would be directed at humans?  It's true we are the dominant species, but I suppose any hostile alien species couldn't be fucked to spend the time with all that monitoring involved in figuring out which species is dominant...  They've got places to be, ya' know, none of this UFO observation bullshit that Hollywood has everyone paranoid with.  Strike your enemy with quickness, strength, and overwhelming numbers...

So, assuming they use some other method besides which is the dominant species, the next thing they would look at would most likely be population.  Because most people (or aliens for that matter) figure there is strength in numbers, right?  A population of 8 billion would be expected to overrun a population of 6 billion, no?

Well.  At this very moment, the U.S. Census Bureau estimates the human population of Earth to be 6,322,041,606...  The chicken population of Earth is at least 8,000,000,000.

Chickens: Your days are numbered...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          023

 

022                                                                                                          

~ Friday, October 3, 2003, 9:38 PM to 10:07 PM

"Shoot dis piece'a chit..."

I know, sorry, I haven't updated in forever...  The past two weeks have been extremely hectic, and I've developed a case of writer's block to be honest.  But there is one thing that I feel the need to bitch about this evening, and it has to do with the new Christina Aguilera single "Can't Hold Us Down"...  Here is a sample of the lyrics from that song:

If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

Ugh, give me a fucking break.  I'm so sick of this "women's empowerment" bullshit...  I mean honestly, who do you think created this double standard in the first place?  WOMEN.  Do you really think some guy was talking shit on some girl to his friends because she sleeps around?  Fuck no, guys don't gossip about chick shit.  The only time a guy will ever care how many guys a girl has been with is if he plans on fucking her.  Otherwise, we could honestly care less, most guys won't make a snap judgment about a girl based on her sexual history.  If anything, most guys encourage promiscuous behavior from females, that means more sex for us.

I'm willing to bet it was in fact WOMEN who created the double standard.  One day, long ago, some fat catty bitch was talking to her fat friends about a girl that all the guys thought was attractive...  Since this girl was much better looking than they were and got more attention from the opposite sex, it MUST mean she sleeps around, making her a slut...  This is the typical thought process of a jealous fat bitch.  

And of course it only makes sense to try and turn this around on males as to make yourselves look less stupid.  You try to make it seem like we are somehow trying to "hold you back" by developing stereotypes and double standards...  Newsflash: NO ONE CARES.  Life sucks, get a helmet.

PS - Everyone go buy Scarface on DVD...  You fuckin' cocka'roaches.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          022

 

021                                                                                                          

~ Friday, September 26, 2003, 1:31 PM to 1:57 PM

RateMyPoo.com and other poo web-sites...

I realized something a few days ago, but never bothered to post it...  I've come to the conclusion that most of the pictures on RateMyPoo.com and other shit related sites are taken while the photographer is half-naked, with shitty ass cheeks...  This is my reasoning:

1.  95% of the pictures on such sites are absent of any adequate amount of USED toilet paper.  This suggest that the photographer was so overjoyed at the sight of his/her "accomplishment" that they didn't even bother to wipe before they decided to take the picture.  Besides, toilet paper would just limit the view of the "masterpiece"...

2.  Anyone who knows something about anything knows that shitty cheeks and pants don't go well together.  So it would come as no surprise if the photographer sprinted from the toilet, pants still down, to search the house for a camera (perhaps "sprinted" wasn't the correct term, "hobbled" maybe).

3.  Doesn't it just makes sense that someone who takes the time of day to photograph SHIT would be standing there naked, with shitty ass cheeks?  Well, at least thats what I think...

And on that note, it's time for lunch...  See you in the stalls.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          021

 

020                                                                                                          

~ Monday, September 22, 2003, 4:51 PM to 5:21 PM

Oh shit, the big TWO-ZERO...

Well, this is Log 020...  Kind of a milestone, right?  No?  Fine, fuck you then.

Anyways.  I've just realized how big of a goldmine my school is for material.  I swear, my school is filled with some of the dumbest human beings to walk the face of the planet, we're talking Cro-Magnon style here...

Take today for instance.  Today we got our tests back in geology class, and the teacher's pet has to throw a big fuss over how she got a low grade and how the class was so stupid and useless...  Bitch, are you REALLY that bitter?  It's no one's fault but your own for not studying the material provided.  Maybe if you'd quit making your wiseass comments and joking with all your dumbass friends during class, and actually tried paying attention to what was being said, you'd fucking learn something...  Quit expecting everyone to have all the answers to all your problems just because you have a pretty face.

Keep in mind this is the same girl that is always going on about how much she likes the class...  And then when she gets a low grade, she suddenly has the audacity to say "This class is so worthless, I really don't see how anyone could make a career out of it"...  Whaaaaaa?  Um, excuse me, but aren't YOU the one who signed up for this fucking class?  If you don't like it, walk your ass down to the physics class you stuck up bitch.  The only reason ANYONE takes geology in our school is for the goddamn credit, not because it looks good on a college application.  So if you're so concerned about your education, why not take a class that might end up getting you somewhere?  Oh, thats right, because physics teachers don't cater to snot-nosed little brats like yourself...

Some people...

Haha, oh yeah, on a lighter note, I printed out more Mickey Mouse cards today.  If you don't know what a Mickey Mouse card is, you can see one here.  If for some reason that picture doesn't work, it's basically a piece of paper in the shape of a business card.  On one side is a picture of Mickey Mouse with a large middle finger extended to the viewer.  Next to Mickey is the text:

"HEY!  Thanks for parking so close to me dickhead!  Next time why don't you leave me a fucking can opener so I can get into my car?  Assholes like you should take the bus..."

I always find that amusing...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          020

 

019                                                                                                          

~ Saturday, September 20, 2003, 5:43 PM to 6:20 PM

Slackin' again, yee-haw.

I wish I could say I have a good reason, but I don't.  I'm just a lazy fuck.

Speaking of being lazy, I'd like to take this opportunity to explain to anyone who was wondering why it is that I am unemployed at the moment.

You see, there is a delicate balance that most people pay no mind to, because not many people are ever put into the situation where this balance is thrown off, thus putting them in MY position.  I wasn't even in this position myself up until about April 2002...

I'm not afraid to admit that I do not have many friends.  As a matter of fact, I'm even willing to say that I have NO friends, at least in this town.  I do have friends back in California, in my old hometown, a shitload of friends actually.  But here it's a different story.  I moved to Arizona during the later half of my sophomore year in high school.  Now, in my mind, this leaves me with somewhere around 22 months (2 months sophomore year and 10 months each for junior and senior year) to make up for 15 years of not talking to a single soul in this town.  I mean shit, it took me 15 years just to make a handful of REALLY GOOD friend in California, so 22 months is really shit if you think about it...  But I'm starting to wander off topic.

The reason I don't have a job is because this "balance" has been thrown off.  This is the balance between work and play.  Let me explain:

Now, most normal teenagers go to school and complain about how much they hate it.  What most people don't realize is school is one of the BEST opportunities you have to see your friends.  School is not nearly as bad as people make it out to be.  The time spent talking and hanging out with your friends at school should offset the work you have to do while in class.  And if you think about it, where did you make all of your friends anyways?  Most likely very early on in school.  This is where my 22 month logic comes in.  Because really, how is one to make friend in the summer?

Now, lets look at my situation.  I'm in month 12 of my 22 month "friend making spree"...  And if you went around and asked every person in my school to name 20 of their friends, I can guarantee you my name wouldn't be mentioned once.  So really, my days at school are 100% work...  I talk to roughly three people in my 1st period, one in my 2nd period, maybe one in my 3rd period, and maybe one in my 4th period.  Pretty sad, isn't it?

Let's move on to my time spent out of school.  Do you know how many times I've hung out with someone outside of school since I first moved here?  Twice.  Once when I first moved here (And obviously that group felt I wasn't cool enough to be invited again) and once during summer school (We had fun, but it's really complicated and...  Just, no, that different rant entirely)...  Are we seeing a pattern here?  Basically my entire life is absent of any contact with people my own age.  I occasionally  hang out with my brother, but he's four years older than I am and recently moved out of our house with a friend from California.  They are currently living in our old house, paying rent to my parents.  Not to mention he works Monday through Friday, 7 AM to 5 PM.  I can't expect him to just call me up and do shit with me whenever he's free, he's got his own life with his own friends.

Now compare that to the normal high school senior in this town...  Parties, going out to the lake, parties, social gatherings, parties, drinking, smoking, parties, and then just to spite me, they party some more.  So the time they spend partying and the time spent working at their jobs should offset each other as well.  I can understand that there are people that hate their jobs, but jobs get you money, which in turn helps you and your friends have fun...  What the fuck is someone like me going to spend money on?  Gas?  Insurance?  Parking fees?  Come the fuck on, thats no way to spend your hard earned cash.  As the old saying goes, "Work hard, play hard"...  Well, in my case, it's more along the lines of just "Work hard"...

I understand that I will have to get a job sooner or later, and I probably will within the next month or so.  I just wish people wouldn't open their big fucking mouths about shit they don't understand...

"Shit Brandon, why don't you get a job?"

"I don't know..."

"You're lazy.  Anyways, I'm off to go to a friends house, then go to a party, then get drunk and stoned with really hot chicks, then take my dads boat out on the lake, then go home and have a wild orgy in basement, then wake up tomorrow morning and do it all again...  But really, you should think about getting a job, lazy fuck."

*le sigh*

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          019

 

018                                                                                                          

~ Tuesday, September 16, 2003, 1:04 AM to 1:12 AM

You fuckin' guys...

Alright assholes, listen up, it's about "Teh Rant"...  Wondering why your piece isn't being posted?  Cause it fuckin' sucks!  Christ, don't just send any fucking random ass thoughts that pop into your head, thats not the goddamn point.  Find something logical to bitch/rant/complain about, PROOF READ THAT SHIT (you wouldn't believe the amount of corrections I have to do to peoples work, only to realize I'm not going to post it anyways), THEN send it to me.  Maybe I'm burning bridges while I'm crossing them by bitching to you guys, but I won't lower my standards just because you want to see your name posted on a fucking web-site.

ANYWAYS...

Some revisions will be done soon on "Teh Rant" page, be on the lookout for that.  I hate to do it, but I'm going to have to start requesting you follow some very simple guidelines when writing/sending me your entry.  I'll try to get that up tonight...

I'm basically in a shit mood right now, so maybe I'm overreacting...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          018

 

017                                                                                                          

~ Friday, September 12, 2003, 3:24 PM to 3:41 PM

Why do I look forward to weekends?

Seriously.  I never do anything.  I just sit around.  Now is the perfect opportunity for me to invite someone over, since my parents are leaving to go to Phoenix for the night, but I just can't seem to muster up the courage to possibly face rejection.

Sorry for not updating yesterday.

On a better note.  Remember that smartass bumfuck in my general marketing class that I was talking about in Log 014?  Haha, I made him look like a fucking dumbass on Thursday.

We were discussing what kind of product we buy and the reasons we buy them.  Jeff (the smartass) said that he isn't influenced by any promotions for products, he simply buys the products he knows he likes.  He said he ONLY buys Coca-Cola because he knows he likes it, even though it's more expensive than other brands.  The teacher then asked him if he would try a free sample of a new sports drink product (he's on the golf team, so you know, he's considered an "athlete"...  *rolls eyes*).  He said yes.  She then asked if he would buy the product if he REALLY liked the free sample.  He said he would rather buy water because it's CHEAPER.  Hmmmmmm...  So lets see here Jeff.  You buy Coca-Cola because you like it, regardless of the high price, yet you wouldn't buy a drink that you like because you'd rather get cheaper water...  It's funny how some people can make themselves look so stupid just because they're so goddamn stubborn.

Needless to say, I pointed out his tomfoolery, and he was adequately laughed at.  I hope I've severely damaged his self-esteem.

By the way, I'm sad.  I need comforting.

I'll update again later tonight (hopefully)...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          017

 

016                                                                                                          

~ Wednesday, September 10, 2003, 5:48 PM to 6:10 PM

God is a lazy bitch.

EURGH.

Fuckin' aye...  So last night I was typing up my Beowulf essay for english class.  Finally finished it, ended up being about two pages in length, and afterwards I guess I decided it would be a good time for a short nap (I honestly don't even remember lying down on my bed).

Fast forward to 12 AM, just waking up.  Still groggy and actually quite pissed because I still had a shitload of homework to get done, so I decide it's about time to print out my essay.  Go to the computer...  Ope, whats this?  The computer decided to randomly shut down, losing my entire paper?  Oh, how lovely.  Now many people would say "Why the hell didn't you save your paper?"...  Well, how often does YOUR computer just RANDOMLY decide to shut down?  Yeah, thats what I thought.  Expect the mother fucking unexpected folks...

I don't think I've been that pissed since the last time I punched a hole in my wall.  It wasn't even the fact that I lost my paper, I could have re-typed it in about a half hour anyways, I was just in disbelief at how shitty my luck was.

And then it's just like the whole world caved in on me.  I realized that my whole life is just a never ending string of fucked up events that never seem to work in my favor.  Be it making friends, finding a significant other, school work...  Anything.  Somehow, everything I do ends up being completely F.U.B.A.R.  I sat there and ACTUALLY asked out loud "Why God, why?"...

So as I sit in my chair, nearly in tears, watching my computer restart AGAIN (because the damn thing froze when I wildly mashed the keyboard in a fit of rage), I see a message pop up on my screen:

"MS Word document recovered after sudden power loss."

Gee, THANKS A LOT GOD.  You lazy piece of shit.  Leave it to that arrogant asshole to fix the EASIEST problem in my life.  Oh, don't even bother helping me with the ability to be more open with people, or addressing my trust issues, or helping me with my various social anxiety problems, or lack of self-esteem...  By golly, BRING BACK MY FUCKING PAPER!!!

... I hope you can sense my sarcasm, because I'm laying it on pretty heavy.  So in a nutshell, fuck you God.  Don't do me anymore favors, you lazy bitch.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          016

 

015                                                                                                          

~ Tuesday, September 9, 2003, 5:52 PM to 5:57 PM

I've developed the first recorded case of teenage Alzheimer's...

I know what I was going to tell you guys now.

Last night...  I GOT STONED!!!  Woo, go me.  I had to scrape all three of my pipes REALLY well and really only got one decent hit, but it was more than enough to give me a small high after being sober for over 5 weeks.

It was really sad, because I walked into my living room at about midnight and saw that it was a (near) full moon out...  Reminded me of the times I used to smoke in my room back in California when the moon would light up my back yard.

Anywho.  Wow, "Teh Rant" is progressing nicely.  TWO entries added today, one by Jem and one by Greg.  Actually, I just remembered Richard e-mailed me one as well...  Fuck, that means I need to update it again.  But WOO, that means more entries!

So yeah, peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

                                                                                                          015

 

014                                                                                                          

~ Tuesday, September 9, 2003, 1:23 PM to  1:58 PM

I'm surrounded by morons...

*le sigh*

Jesus Christ man, some days are just too much.

Don't get me wrong, today was actually quite pleasant compared to most others, but my 4th period class just REALLY gets under my skin.  4th period is General Marketing...  And the entire time I spend sitting in that class, I can't help but think to myself:  "I am SURROUNDED by MORONS"...  Let me explain.

Certain people in that class that are just a pain in the ass.  It's a typical high school class setup.  You have your typical brain-dead blonde hot chicks (only they're not quite blonde and not exactly hot, but it's a stereotype most understand, so eat me), you have your class clown, you have the couple that sit in the back that only pay attention to each other, you have the mysterious gothic "I hate myself" kid that punches himself in the face on command...  It's like a fucking "Breakfast Club" for the new millennium.

So anyways.  There's this smartass that sits two seats behind me that always has to argue over the stupidest shit.  Today the class was coming up with different types of vehicles (SUV's, trucks, minivans, etc.) that are popular.  Someone suggests SUV's, and another suggests the new H2 Hummers.  We were trying to come up with broad categories, so the teacher calmly explained how a vehicle like that would fit into the SUV category.  All's fine right?  Wrong.  Ol' Fuckass has to open his trap...

"Well, TECHNICALLY, the Hummer H2's aren't SUV's, since SUV's are generally smaller and market research suggests that SUV's are purchased by families with children while H2's are geared more towards off road usage."

... Well "TECHNICALLY", you're a fucking ass face.  So shut the fuck up, shitwad and let the rest of the class have a normal discussion without having to hear you chime in with your useless bullshit every 5 fucking seconds.

You know, I was planning on going on more about people in that class, but it really ISN'T worth my time.  And thats really saying something when even *I* won't give you the time of day...

In other news, site has been updated a bit.  Jem from Insomniacs Dream sent her entry for "Teh Rant" section, so expect that to be up a few minutes after I post this.

...  I know I wanted to say something else, but I can't remember.  Might update again later on today.  Peace out nukkas...

Brandon.

                                                                                                          014

 

013                                                                                                          

~ Monday, September 8, 2003, 10:19 PM to 10:36 PM

*Insert stupid Eminem song reference here*

So like, um.  "Guess who's back?  Back again?".  Blah blah, you know the rest.

So yeah, I've re-opened "Teh Log", mostly due to the "fans"...  IE: the dozen or so people that kept bugging me to re-open it.  But hey, a dozen people bugging me is better that NO ONE bugging me I guess...

At the moment, I'm extremely pissed for reasons I really don't feel like discussing right now, but rest assured I'll (probably) rant about it later on.

Jesus fucking Christ, I've been sober for like 5 weeks.  I'm just about ready to kill myself.  With a (you guessed it) shotgun blast to the face...

So anyways, since the site has closed, not much has happened.  There was an unfortunate incident this weekend when my parents were SUPPOSED to leave town for a day or two, but Thursday night it rained like a MUTHAFUCKA', and totally fucked up our backyard and our pool, so the trip was put on hold.  Are we beginning to see a trend in shit luck?

I'd like to take this time to tell you all about a movie called Spun.  You need to see this movie.  My friend Miles told me about it during my trip to Santa Maria, and then Richard (the same Richard that wrote an entry in "Teh Rant" section) told me he saw it as well the following week, so I thought I'd download it.  Extremely good movie about drugs, and why they're bad (well, at least meth)...  Also, the "theme song" for Spun is one of my new favorite songs.  It's called "Number of the Beast" and it's by the band ZWAN.  It's an acoustic cover of the Iron Maiden song, I strongly encourage everyone to download it.

Well, that seems like enough for now kiddies, I have a paper to type up for english (compare and contrast the good and evil qualities of characters in the epic "Beowulf")...  Might do another update later on tonight.

Peace out nukkas (ah, feels good to say that again).

Brandon.

                                                                                                          013

 

012                                                                                                          

~ Wednesday, August 27, 2003, 12:43 PM to 1:21 PM

I can feel you staring at me...

OK, I know.  I've neglected the site for another un-Godly amount of time (4 days).  "Let us not commit the sin of turning our back on time" - Tom Hanks from Castaway.  If you really think about it, even when taken out of context, that quote doesn't have anything to do with anything I just said.  Woo, go me.

Anyways.

Mars is supposed to be out tonight.  Whoop-de-fucking-doo...  Not like I'll be able to see it anyways, since it's so goddamn cloudy around here.

Moving on.  Many people have asked me "Hey, why do you call it TEH Log instead of THE Log?  What does TEH mean?"...  Your guess is as good as mine.  There's really two reasons I chose to use "teh" instead of "the":

1.  "The Log" sounds completely gay.

2.  In the movie Dumb & Dumber, there is a scene where Harry (Jeff Daniels) and Lloyd (Jim Carey) are in a hotel room reading a newspaper...  Now Lloyd isn't exactly a "proficient reader".  He was born before the whole Hooked on Phonics thing came into play...  So here's Lloyd sitting there reading the newspaper to Harry, and he's completely stumped on a word.

"T-...  Tuh...  Tuh-heh.  Tuh-heeeeeh..."

The word was "the"...  For some reason that scene just always stuck in my head, and it only made sense for me to make an entire website devoted to the word "teh"...

So there you have it.

Anyways, expect another update today seeing as I don't have any homework to keep me occupied.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

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011                                                                                                          

~ Saturday, August 23, 2003, 9:58 PM to 10:19 PM

I give up.

Three updates today?  Thats just sad...  But just so you know, I don't live day to day anymore.  I live from nap to nap.  Every time I wake up, I consider that a new day.  Not a "new day" in the happy "THE DAY IS NEW FRESH AND I CAN DO ANYTHING!" sense, but more like a depressing "Wow, I can't wait until I get to sleep again" sense...

Anyways.  Back to the topic.  Ladies, I give up.  You have officially won.  I admit defeat.  I can't understand you all, and probably never will.  Now don't get me wrong here...  I AM NOT GAY, AND NEVER WILL BE.  However, I've just given up trying to impress women.  You are a backwards gender that work in ways far beyond the comprehension of my penis (since all guys think with their dicks, har har *rolls eyes*)...

Switching gears (actually, it still has to do with women/dating)...  I just finished watching "MTV's True Life: I'm Getting Breast Implants", and it got me thinking...  If my (imaginary) girlfriend were to bring up getting breast implants, I'd be against it for two reasons:

1.  I'm not a breast man.  They just don't really do anything for me.  Sure, when I was about 13 they were all I ever thought about, but now I find there are parts of a woman's body that are much more pleasing to the eye than tits.

2.  I wouldn't be dating her if I didn't love her.  And I wouldn't love her if I didn't already think she was (near) perfect...  So there would really be no need for breast implants in my opinion.

But what if she persisted?  What if she kept on pushing to get them?  I'm not sure how I'd feel about that...  On the one hand, it's her body and she can do with it as she pleases.  On the other hand, I AM her boyfriend...  Who's opinion on her physical appearance should matter more than mine?  Why would she feel the need to impress someone that she wasn't intimately involved with?  But I don't think I'll ever be faced with that problem, since I'm going to die alone...

... I think about stupid shit a lot.

But just let that be a lesson to you guys out there...  If your girlfriend wants to get breast implants against your wishes, chances are she doesn't value your opinion...  Which is a good enough reason to dump her.  And get drunk with your friends.

Bro's before ho's...

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

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010                                                                                                          

~ Saturday, August 23, 2003, 1:39 AM to  2:01 AM

Whats the deal with ugly people?

(Second update of the day, as promised)...

So I was thinking today...  About ugly people.  First of all, let me tell you I know two VERY ugly people that are going out with each other and APPEAR to be perfectly happy.  I can't figure out how this is possible.  I mean, what some people find beautiful will vary from person to person, but UGLINESS IS UNIVERSAL.

My point is, those two ugly people each KNOW they are dating an ugly person.  What I can't figure out is why would ugly people lower their standards?  Why would you settle for someone you don't find absolutely gorgeous?  Is the need for companionship that strong in people?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm no Ben Affleck (or whoever it is that all the teen girls want to fuck nowadays)...  As a matter of fact, by most peoples standards, I'm ugly as sin.  But does that mean I'm going to go date some ugly bitch because I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life?  No.  I'm going to keep pursuing the girl I think is the most beautiful, although I'm destined to be alone for the rest of my life anyways...

Hey, do me a favor.  Obtain a Remington Model 332 12-Guage Shotgun, load with 3 Remington BuckHammer Stabilized Lead Slugs, put the double barrel to my forehead, and unload two shots.  Finish me off with a shot to the back, at the base of the spine...  And please, do this sooner rather than later.

... Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

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009                                                                                                          

~ Saturday, August 23, 2003, 12:22 AM to 12:51 AM

Quick, someone sex me up...

Fucking Christ asshole bitch whore.  What a shitty week.

Is it just me, or does that Marci X movie look like the stupidest goddamn "movie" to come out of Hollywood to date?  Damon Wayans is NOT a convincing "gangsta" rapper, and Lisa Kudrow is NOT a convincing record label executive...  That movie is just a fucking mess, AND IT PISSES ME OFF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS.

OK, now what the fuck?  All I want to do is go outside so I can smoke a bowl and be a happy kid for a few hours, but I can't...  Why?  BECAUSE MY FATHER FEELS THE NEED TO WATCH TV IN THE LIVING ROOM UNTIL 12:30 AM IN THE FUCKING MORNING.  Son of a bitch, I swear my luck gets shittier with each passing day...

So anyways, I HAVE updated the site a bit, I've just neglected to let you all know.  Every section should be up and running now, except for the Misc. section, because I have no fucking idea what to put there.  E-mail me some ideas...  Or sign the guestbook...  Or shoot me in the face with a shotgun.

I'd like to thank Richard for being the first contributor to "Teh Rant"...  I know I told everyone Jem from Insomniacs Dream would be the first to write an article, but she seems to have disappeared off the face of the Earth, hopefully ending up somewhere near the fiery depths of HELL!

... No, I'm kidding.  Jem will still be doing an entry (sooner or later, even if I have to force her to).

Anyways, I'll REALLY try to update the site as much as possible in the next week.  I might even update again tonight (after I get stoned) to make up for the lack of updates in the past week.

Peace the fuck out, nukkas...

(JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, THIS GODDAMN MARCI X COMMERCIAL IS ON AGAIN!!!  SHOOT ME IN THE FACE WITH A SHOTGUN.)

Brandon.

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008                                                                                                          

~ Tuesday, August 19, 2003, 5:36 PM to 5:44 PM

I've been slacking...

Yeah, I know, I haven't updated in a while...  Actually, only 4 days, but I have been TRYING to update this site everyday.  Oh well.

Just got back from taking senior pictures.  What a fucking hassle.  First you have to take three yearbook pictures (all of which I'm pretty sure I blinked in) and then wait around until everyone is done if you want to get regular pictures to send to family/friends and such...  Well, I had a really bad mood swing after taking my yearbook pictures, so I just left afterwards, which caused my mom to have a hissy fit.

Stupid bullshit.  I spend enough time in that goddamn school, thats the LAST place I want to be during my free time.

School still sucks by the way.  I can't get my classes changed, so now I have (gay) 2nd lunch, so I have to stick around for an extra 30 minutes doing NOTHING, since the goddamn cafeteria is so packed anyways.

I really wish I had something positive to say...

I think I'm going to update again later tonight with a rant similar to the one in entry 001...  A "Things I'm Sick And Tired Of" part 2 if you will.  But then again, I might just get stoned and mash the keyboard wildly.  You can never tell with me...

... I'm a rebel.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

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007                                                                                                          

~ Friday, August 15, 2003, 2:09 PM to 2:12 PM

I'M BUSY, GODDAMMIT!!!

Well, I updated (what felt like) a whole bunch of shit on the site today.  The "Links" and "Contact" pages should now be up and running if you want to take a look at them.  And, ummm...

Yeah.

Going to (near) Phoenix for the weekend to do...  Something.  Parents are dragging me along.  Oh well...  On a cooler note, this is probably the most effort I've ever put into a site, so feel special that you're getting to read this...  Anyways, probably no updates until Sunday night/Monday morning.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

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006                                                                                                          

~ Friday, August 15, 2003, 1:46 AM to 1:58 AM

Still alive and kickin'... \m/

First day of school is in the bag.  It actually wasn't bad at all, considering I only have 4 classes and get out at 12:50 PM...  Let me break it down for you.

1st period I have Geology.  The class itself is cool, I know a few people and the teacher seems pretty cool too.  It's his first year, so hopefully he'll fuck up a lot and make the class interesting.  He reminds me of Edward Norton when he talks too, for some reason.

2nd period I have Pre-Calc...  Um, I'm not going to enjoy this class, I can already tell, but oh well.  The teacher is a cool guy, pretty laid back, but the work we're going to have to do is bullshit, I can already tell.

3rd period I have English.  Another class I'm not going to enjoy.  Not only because I don't know anyone in the class AND English is my most HATED subject, but to top it all off, the teacher is a complete dick.  He best watch himself, or I might have to get crazy and bust some heads up in that joint.

4th period is General Marketing.  Don't ask.  No idea HOW I got that class, I didn't even sign up for it, and I don't have the classes required to take it anyways.  The class itself seems pretty damn cool, and the people in the class are cool too.  We get to go on a "field trip" to Tucson for 3 days, which could be...  Um, cool?  But then again, it IS still school...

I'm just pissed that in every class I have friends in, I don't sit by any of them.  All the teachers are being fuckholes and not letting the students sit where they want.  They're also cracking down like a muthafucka' on people that are violating the dress code.  They made over ONE HUNDRED people change into P.E. uniforms today with the letters "DCV" (Dress Code Violator) on it.  Fucking retarded if you ask me...

Well, thats about it for tonight I guess.  I updated the site layout so that all the newest entries are at the top, that way you don't have to scroll all the way to the end of the page.  Lazy bitches, rejoice.

Peace out nukkas.

Brandon.

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005                                                                                                          

~ Tuesday, August 12, 2003, 5:04 PM to 5:26 PM

Ung...

Well well well.  I've been trying to keep myself busy, and failing horribly.  School starts in t-minus 39 hours, and I can't say I'm very excited.  I can count the number of people I look forward to seeing on one hand, which is pretty fucking sad.

Got "caught" yesterday (I was actually going to put "a few days ago" instead of "yesterday"...  I swear, I can't keep track of time anymore) smoking pot by my parents.  Kind of indirectly got caught, since it mainly consisted of them asking, and me admitting.  Hopefully it won't turn into a big deal.

Updated more of the site, and hopefully I'll get some guest entries up in the next week or so.  Added the Teh Book (guestbook) and changed some of the buttons around.  If you have any ideas or comments about the site, direct them to Teh Book or e-mail me.  Thats it for now, peace out nukkas...

Brandon.

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004                                                                                                          

~ Monday, August 11, 2003, 3:08 AM to 3:12 AM

I've been a busy little bee...

Haha.  Oh shit.  OK, good night actually.  So far.  Stoned.  Yeah.

Well, I'm currently in the process of adding "Teh Rant"...  Found in the "Rant" link at the top of the page under the site banner.  "Teh Rant" is explained on the page itself, but basically it's "Teh Log" only all entries will be made by YOU guys.  I can't run a good site without getting ideas from somewhere...

Fucking hell I'm hungry.

For anyone thinking about making a site, stop thinking and just do it.  It's fun, especially when you spend time updating your site while stoned, like this one guy I know.  *looks around*

Yeah, so, tell me if you guys find anything wrong with the site.

Peace out.

Brandon.

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003                                                                                                          

~ Sunday, August 10, 2003, 9:09 PM to 9:22 PM

(Non)Busy day...

Crawled out of bed a 6 PM today...  Some days just aren't worth it.  I need to get back into a regular sleep cycle for school ("regular" meaning 1 AM to 7 AM, not 6 AM to 6 PM...)

Well, ehm.  Updated the page a bit.  You'll see some buttons at the top of the page.  They probably don't work at the moment, but those are the sections of the site that I have planned out.  This could change at any time.  I wasn't even planning on HAVING different sections, Teh Log was just supposed to be a one page site.  But now, that seems a bit too boring...

HOPEFULLY, I'll come up with some clever way to advertise the site, because the thing I want the most at the moment is a page for everyone else.  A page filled with guest rants.  The system as of now is invite only, but that may change soon.  Even if I do invite you to do an entry, you're not guaranteed to get your work posted.  Sorry, I'm an asshole with standards, so shoot me...

Might update again later on tonight/tomorrow morning.

Brandon.

(FYI: Every time you see red text anywhere on this site, that text will probably contain a link, either a URL or e-mail.)

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002                                                                                                          

~ Sunday, August 10, 2003, 2:14 AM to 2:42 AM

First official stoned update!

Yep.  Wow.  Feels special, don't it?  No?  Yeah, thought so.  Just another sleepless night spent getting stoned, drinking orange juice, and eating chocolate double crunch protein bars and/or uncooked chicken flavored top ramen...  

Hmph.  

It fucking sucks when people aren't online.  Being stoned alone isn't any fun.  

In other news, I'm pleased to announce that Jem will most likely be doing the first guest entry.  Jem runs Insomniacs Dream, which is one of the coolest fuckin' personal sites I've seen to date (the fact that she has me on her top 10 BMMB list is proof that she has a sense of humor).  I guess that makes her the first honorary staff member.

So yeah...

Got my glasses fixed today.  Interesting story behind that.  I sat on them.  ISN'T THAT INTERESTING?!?  Thought so.

Up to this point I really didn't have any idea what was stopping me from doing a site like this, and then I realized...  No one would be reading it.  The key....  The key is advertising.

4 out of 5 dentists agree: The New T(h)om(as) Green Show should be aired everyday, for 24 hours.  NEVER.  STOP.  FILMING.  Oh, and another thing...  Did I mention that it's "BIG MONSTER SPECTACULAR FRIDAY!!!"...  "Making Calls For People Who Don't Want To Make Calls Using The Telephone" is fucking great, especially the random unexpected (and often rude) hang-up at the end.  You're a good man, Thomas Green.  You too Mr. Hollywood Glenn Humplik...  Thats it for now, peace out.

Brandon.

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001                                                                                                          

~ Saturday, August 9, 2003, 1:15PM to 1:37 PM

MY LONG AWAITED SITE.

Wow. Isn't it... Simple? Meh. I shall start today off with an entry posted in my old LiveJournal, written at a time when I wasn't very happy (which could be anytime in the past year, so that doesn't really tell you much)...

THINGS I'M SICK AND TIRED OF:

1. People not putting forth the same amount of effort I do in friendships. If you don't want to be my fucking friend, don't even bother being nice to me. If you do want to be my friend, don't be so fucking selfish. I'm more than willing to listen to anyone elses rant and offer HONEST advice (rather than bullshit filler), and it's only fair for me to expect the same in return.

2. Having to always settle for second best. And having it constantly rubbed in my fucking face... Having to spend every waking moment of my high school career around the most beautiful girl on the planet is slowly growing on me. Ope, and whats this? You want to talk to me about your guy problems? Here's an idea. Read number 1 and put forth the fucking effort, or fuck off. I can only deal with looking at your perfect figure and stunning beauty for so long...

3. The seemingly neverending string of misfortune for myself, while those around me are blessed with happiness and friends and dozens of teenage virgins at their disposal. Jealous? You bet your fucking ass I am... I didn't ask for this shit, and I'm TRYING to fucking make it better, but constant nagging from these assholes and their happy-go-lucky attitudes isn't helping me.

4. People who send mixed signals. This ties in with number 1... DON'T fucking lead me on with your bullshit if you don't intend to take it anywhere. If everyone would just operate on either side of that spectrum with nowhere in between, the world would be a much less complicated place. Don't waste my goddamn time. I'm a big boy, if you need to be blunt with me, then do it.

5. People who bring nothing to the table.

6. Nosey people. MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS UNLESS I APPROACH YOU. The occasional question doesn't bother me in the least, but if you pry at me, you're gonna get bitched out, plain and simple. I value my privacy.

7. The way everything I've listed so far can be traced back to several people I'm very "close" to.

8. Not only SETTLING for second best, but BEING second best. I guess it only makes sense when you think about it, but I'm bitter nonetheless. Being second in line when it comes to friendships/relationships/whatever-ships is close to one of the shittiest feelings a person can ever experience.

9. People in general.

Lets hope future entries are less cynical, hmmm?

Brandon.

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� Whitenukka INC. (2003 - End Of Time)...  Don't steal my shit.

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