11:55 A.M. - Roll out of bed and land on ribcage, smooth slick, smooth
12:15 P.M. - Twitching towards shower, woggle woggle
12:33 P.M. - Made it to shower, doing my business, would you like to join me?
1:05 P.M. - Shit, late for academy
1:07 P.M. - Running down the stairs and outside half naked putting on jeans
1:23 P.M. - Walking to academy half dressed
8:05 P.M. - Leave academy
11:24 P.M. - Writing this shit
August 27, 2002
11:44 P.M.
Personal comment and mood:
I bet if you had a infrared camera placed over orange county you'd see lots of little hotspots, botches of neighborhoods with air vents and A/C's, families and friends diring up the grill in courtyards, alleyways, backyards, lawns, escapes and even the roofs, grilling everything from ground chuck to porterhouses. It's 2002, the day and age where you trade your time and life to keep a roof over you head and bread on the table. I enjoy BBQ's,it resembleslesiure, we're gonna be on our own someday, if not soon. So to that day we won't be under the roof anymore, there's 15 ways to get food now and theyre allabout 15 or less minutes walk,but it's always fun to get together with other "boys" and "girls" and prepare it yourself.
I spent last saturday concentrating on a cheeseburger with friends and family sitting around the house, everyone took their lesiurely time eating, as the sun went down, from my room theres always a good 4 and a half minutes to 7 somewhere when the sky turns to gold and then the sun sinks somewhere into Long Beach.
Summer shot by like a cannonball, a speeding bullet, like 2000, back when I was mastering the arts of a social life and downshifting and paralel parking. Time passes and you will never know when it's gone. I swear I looked up and everything changed, my room changed, my belongings dissapeared, replaced with new things I hold precious, my transportation shifting from a 87 Taurus to a 99 Explorer, music coming through the speakers are different, I gained 8 years, new interests and oportunities and people I'd like to forget, some people stopped breathing, some started. Clinton gets chick happy and Asian food becomes popular.
I set my things in the corner of my desk, the first time I did I was worried I'll lose them, now I never think of things like that anymore.
August 28, 2002
11:25 P.M.
Soundtrack: I go out walkin', after midnight
On Saturday I was lying in my boxers reading an old Super Street copy on a R-34 Skyline when I noticed a small cut on my torso. At least that's what I thought it was. Hurt when I poked it with a pen.
The day after, finishing my practice test at academy, which has now become a grueling 2.5 hours. Head home and shower, discovering the unplesant lump had swelled in place of the healing injury, the flesh felt tender. Fuck if I knew what it was. I ignored it for a few days along with my friends screaming West Nile virus. I was thinkin about spearing it but then the thought hit my mind. I injured myself hanging up new shirts from Robinson's May? And now I was about to give myself self-surgery? Yeah sure buddy. Maybe I'll give myself a home colonoscopy while I'm at it.
Me: ::poking at cut with a pointy object::
Brother: The fuck are you doing?
Me: Looking for polyps, Why don't you mind your own business?
Health insurance is a weird concept, if a crackhead jumps me or I get hit by a drunken raged man, some company in NYC's got my back. Before I got a chance to go to the doc's a chick at academy checked it out, said it was infected and skins in the process of healing. "Must have been from a few days ago when you fell running around academy. Well I'll be damned.
Alright I'm gonna grab a shirt and go for a walk, this is gonna sound corny but sometime's when I go to sleep I feel left out of everything, like I don't belong. I mean I have friends, family, close close friend. I see and meet people but you know what I mean. Anyways as I walked I started getting that feeling and I even got a little scared. I told myself to stop being a fucking wuss and keep walking.
August 30, 2002
11:50 P.M.
Why are people in our society pedophile? In the last 3 months I've heard like 15 different cases of child kidnapping/murder.
Anyway's, life's gettin' a bit better and better now and then. Starting to resolve things with people I pushed out of my life sort of. And other things. Hopefully I'll be sticking to the not hurting myself anymore, I've caused enough shit in all of your lives, I'm sorry, but thankyou for having dealt with it and not doing the job yourself.
Random thought had me laying on my back staring at the shopping mall. What if you were a cop and you were sittin' on the can and you forgot toilet paper? It'd be awsome to radio out for backup.
You: "10-4 10-4 we need TP"
Dispatcher: "TP?"
You: "I repeat BK toilet stall 2 under heavy fire requesting assisstance, we need TP we need TP"
Dispatcher: "Roger that 10-7 and 12-9 are on the way"
You: "Roger 10-4 out"
That would be the greatest police officer conversation in OCP history.
Well, I hope everyone's ready for school. Junior year for me's approaching. I guess this'll be great. My chance at picking myself up academically.
God I wanna car lol. But I failed the stupid DMV test, I was so damn asleep, I wokeup like 45 minutes before the test. Well anyways I'm takin it next week so wish me good luck!!! J/K Anyhoo has it ever been like 10 P.M. and you just like sudenly want something? Random craves and such. I've come to the point where I've deduced Viet if not Asian males having a like... altered version of PMS. Could be called something like LMBS for lost my balls syndrome or something. Yeah soo well my plans are pretty much open for this weekend if you guys wanna go anywhere! Oh yeah and call my house and don't be freakin afraid of my parents, everyone but relatives, and a few special people are not afraid to say "is Mike there?" Holy mother of Godwill you just ask and not hangup? Thankies.
Alright well I'm gonna clean up my room and make some plans, I'm gonna get back into touch with my art side so yeah tell me which should I get into again, drawing painting or writing?
September 2, 2002
10:32 P.M. Staring at the sky. Then came a friggin imaginary meteor crsahing into my forehead
Against my wishes I watched shallow hal onDVD and it was actually entertaining. At face value, this movie and Shrek appear to be polemics about superficial beauty but are in facttales about fat people suceeding. Maybe.
Vanilla Sky, wasn't really a good movie but from my point of view it was one of those movies you have gotta see, at least for the pop culture literacy.
Now that my relatives are outa town, I can just sit in the guestroom and listen to Sublime and stare at the ceiling like a pothead. I brought some friends in there before, we had arguements about lesbians and Hong Kong based movies and various Asian fad type discussions, like San Rio or Morning Glory.
I went digging through piles of old photographs and found some strange pictures. I found some pictures that went back into the pre-Mike-has-a-life period.
Holy mother of God I had a bowl cut. Those times were weird, I had excessive "art" on my skin and a amaetuer spikethrough my lips. My how the tables have turned.
Okay moving on, I continued a bit on "Why Smart People Can Be So Stupid." Great collection of essays that provide psychological breakdowns of stupidity.
I'm not gonna go into detail about psychological drives and acts of satiating but I will say a couple of things. A few chapters lists a bunch of conditions people can suffer from thatmay ultimately lead them to do stupid things. I was bothered to see I inherit alot of these characteristics.
Impulsiveness - i.e. you're in the middle of writing an important essay and suddenly you go out and get a cheeseburger, or an Egyptian sweater or laid.
Neglect - The contradictory statement to impulsiveness. Impulsiveness states you act too soon,while neglect says you act late or don't act at all.
Procrastination - Not quite neglect nor impulsiveness, procrastination your pureposely avoiding work you should be doing. Busying yourself with perhaps other trivial things. Like typing this damn journal when I have a 15 page essay due in less than 48 hours.
Vacillation - i.e. dicking around trying to make up your mind. Boba or smoothie, smoothie is cheaper but boba taste better, but then I had a smoothie yesterday. *rubs chin* A paradox.
Backsliding - Backsliding is when you pickup a new practice and then dump it about 72 hours later. Like forsay, "I'mgonna wake up at 6 A.M." and two days later you've overslept and are late for school.
Indulgence - Indulgence implies engaging a subject with excess. Like "Man that chocalate cake was good, I should probably have another 55 helpings of it."
Overdoing - Overdoing is when you disguise indulgence as something effortful. Like writing a lot in your online journal under the illusion that writing a lot of anything is better than writing nothing at all.
Now that I've spotted my problem. Er. Seven of them anyway.