What to write? The pressure inside me is building until my head pounds. Until recently I’ve always wanted to do what I needed to do. Now for the first time these two paths are diverging. She is blooming like an orchid: transforming from a plain plant into something crushingly beautiful, a blossom that cries out to be picked.
But now, somehow, the thought bothers me. I know it’s right, it’s necessary, it’s expected. And I know I’ll do it, but they keep hounding me. Nothing is turning out the way I had envisioned. I need more time to tie her to me, to join with her mentally, emotionally, so she’ll see through my eyes. I even find myself liking the idea of joining with her. I’ll bet the Goddess is laughing at me. As to craft, I’ve found a variant reading of Hellorus that describes how sitting beneath an oak can bend the will of Eolh. I want to try it soon.
–Sgàth


I had to draw a spell of protection tonight. I invoked the Goddess and drew the runes at the four points of the compass: Ur, Sigel, Eolh, and Tyr. I took iron nails and buried them at the four corners, wearing a gold ring. And from now on, I will carry a piece of Malachite for protection.
A Seeker is here.
But I am not afraid. The first blow has already been struck, and the Seeker is weakened by it. And as the Seeker weakens, my love grows stronger and stronger.
-Sgàth


The magic is working, as I knew it would. The Seeker no longer frightens me as much. I believe I am the stronger of us two, especially with the power of the others behind me.
Soon I will join with my love. I do understand the urgency, though I wish they would trust me to do it my way, at my pace. More and more, lately, I want to do this for my own sake. But the timing must be perfect. I dare not frighten her; there is too much at stake.
I have been reading the ancient texts, the ones about love and union. I have even copied down my favorite passage from Song of the Goddess: “To give pleasure to yourself and to others, that is my ritual. To love yourself and others, that is my ritual. Celebrate your body and spirit with joy and passion, and as you do so, you worship me”
–Sgàth


Things are starting to heat up, and not just because of the Seeker. We have been having many visitors. Many I’ve never seen before- others I remember from all over the world: Manhattan, New Orleans, California, England, Austria. They come and go at all hours, and I keep coming across little knots of people huddled in this room or that, heads together, discussing, arguing, making magick. I don’t know all of what’s going on, but it’s clear that our discovery here has set many things in motion. And the circles! We are having them almost every day now. They are powerful and exhilarating, but they leave me tired the next day.
-Sgàth

I thank the God and Goddess for her. What a revelation she is, continually. When I was assigned to her, I had no idea she would be anything but an exercise in power. She has become so much more that that. She is a wild bird: delicate but possessing fierce strength. To move to soon would be to watch her take flight in fear.
For the first time in my life there is a chink in my armor, and it is my love.
–Sgàth


They are pushing me to join with her. And I want to do it. Goddess, how I want to do it. She is a butterfly, a flower in bloom, a dark ruby being cut from dusty stone. And I can make her better then that. I can make her catch fire, so her power illuminates all who stand near. I can teach her, I can help her reach the deep magick within. Together we will be unstoppable.
Whoever would have thought this could happen? One look at her would not have revealed the tigress waiting inside. Her love devours me, her constancy humbles me, her beauty and power make me hunger.
She will be mine. And I will be hers.
-Sgàth
Cals Book of Shadows