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| They fled tonight, the lot of them. Selene Belltower, Cal Blaire, Alicia Woodwind, Edwitha of Cair Dal, and more- all slipped through my fingers. They knew I was closing in on them. It’s my fault. I was too cautious, too worried about proving the case against them beyond all doubt, and so I left it too long. I’ve failed, and badly. And worse, Morgan nearly died because I didn’t stop them. I’ve got to break the warding spells and get into Selene’s house. She can’t have had time to pack up all her things. Maybe I can find some clue, something to tell me where she went or what her group is planning. Damn, damn, damn! -Giomanach I went back to Selene’s house tonight after I drove Morgan home. I waited until the police and firefighters were all gone, and then I spent an hour trying to get in, but I couldn’t break through the thicket of spells she put round the place. It’s bloody frustrating. I felt like chucking a rock through one of those big plate glass windows. I wonder if Morgan could do it? I know she got into Selene’s hidden library without even trying. She is incredibly strong, though incredibly untutored, too. No. I can’t ask her. Not after what she went through at that place. Goddess, the pain in her face tonight -and all over that bastard Cal. It made me sick to see it. -Giomanach With Athar’s help, I broke the warding spells today. It took the two of us the better part of the day-Athar was annoyed because I made her take a day off from her job. But I found nothing useful inside. If Selene did leave anything, it’s locked in that library of hers, and I can’t get at it. The council is sending a fellow down from Boston next week to help me bind the house in spells. Perhaps he’ll be able to help me get in. I will not ask Morgan for her help. It’s clear that she dislikes me enough already. I wish she didn’t. There’s something in her eyes, in the way she holds her head, that somehow draws me to her. -Giomanach Kennet Muir, my council mentor, rang from London to say he’d got a new assignment for me. There was a cat found in a suburb of Montreal with its throat cut, and the council fears a rogue coven may have resurrected the blood rituals that were banned in the nineteenth century. On the strength of one dead cat! It’s ridiculous: it’s a fool’s errand, and I told Kennet so. I told him I needed to stay here, that I had many things to finish. He finally agreed, but only after warning me not to allow myself to become too emotionally wrapped up in my work. Athar laughed when I told her that. “Too late,” she said. I had the feeling she was not referring only to finding Cal and Selene. -Giomanach It happened again this afternoon. Just the way it did that other night. We were talking- talking about how to protect her, actually-and then, suddenly, I looked at her and it was as if I’d found an entire universe within her eyes. And I wanted so badly just to touch her, to kiss her mouth. . . . I can’t stop thinking about her. She moves me so strongly, so strangely. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m an idiot. She can barely stand me. -Giomanach The witch from Boston came today. We spent the morning purifying Selene Belltower’s house. But we had no luck getting into her library. In fact, this time I couldn’t even find the door. Then, in the afternoon, I fought with Morgan. I pushed her too hard about David. She’s resisting me all the way. And why not, when it seems I’m doing nothing but persecute the people she cares for? Am I trying to make her hate me? No, it’s not that simple. I need her to be able to face the truth, even when it’s ugly or painful. I need her to believe in her own strength, the strength that I see every time I look at her. I’ve never met anyone who affects me the way she does. We argued today, and the things she said were so wrong and hurtful that I wanted to shake her. But then, later, when she saw what the mechanic had done to that old wreck of a car she drives, she looked so shattered, so utterly forlorn, that it was all I could do not to take her in my arms and kiss away the tears. -Giomanach I’m going to contact my father. I’m terribly afraid. Not just of putting him and Mum in danger, nor of putting myself in danger. More then that, I’m afraid of how changed he’ll look, how old. I’m afraid he’ll tell me Mum is dead. I’m afraid he’ll tell me that he’s heard I’m a Seeker, and he’s ashamed of me. I want to ask Morgan if she’ll stay with me while I do it. -Giomanach I put the braigh on David Redstone today. Morgan was there. She saw the whole thing. I doubt she’ll ever forgive me. But I have to make her try, because I need her. Goddess, how I need her. I think I’m falling in love. And I’m frightened. -Giomanach |
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