MANUAL I (OLD LOST FRAGMENTS -- CONT.)
I have warned you against trying to assess a woman's feelings by her words. I said that her words--unlike those of a man--are not often spoken with truth-seeking goals. Women are singing most of the time. That is, they are creating beauty with their words. Many times, drama is more beautiful than clinical truth.
But there is also danger in trying to assess a woman's feelings by her actions. Why? Because an independent woman's actions are not closely connected with her feelings/desires. The more independent a woman is the more she has gained mastery over her desires. Her actions, on the whole, will reflect prudence and good judgment. Her time with you will usually feel like a distraction to her -- an attractive but possibly destructive distraction. To keep it from being destructive, she must not deviate from what she knows to be her rightful "career path." But her desire for you will still lurk and pull from within. I asked her casually one day, "why do you fight it?" She giggled.
Never compliment a woman in an effort to make her like you more. When you do compliment her, avoid referring to yourself.
Faulty idea: women and sex are what keep life from being dull. The truth: only you alone keep life from being dull. No girl? Your problem is that you are not yet an expert at making life exciting.
The reason why you're not such an expert is most likely because you are not comfortable within your own skin. I call this discomfort being "exposed." It is a necessary (though not sufficient) feature of all wigging, but it can also stand alone as its very own condition.
[LOGAN NOTE: The feeling of exposure is akin to an intense bashfulness that makes you severely paranoid that you are making some kind of scene. Exposed, you are so over-stimulated and self-conscious that life passes you by. You are far too keyed up to find any kind of excitement desirable, so don't expect to create it. Expect to frown upon or ignore excitement, unless of course it is sex. For some reason, exposed men will need to be having sex continually. Perhaps because they taste exposure and find it unbearable unless they fight to gain its difficult though sublime conclusion: orgasm. Exposure is necessary for orgasm. Hellish aphrodisiac, no?]
A primitive form of exposure comes most noticeably after you do something that's socially taboo that you think someone might have seen. [LOGAN NOTE: Taking a hit of weed in a fancy restaurant, for instance, or at your cubicle at work with the creeping suspicion that someone saw it. Stealing.]
Guilt is a form of exposure, as is shame. But exposure outruns these concepts. Fear of being found out is also exposure, but not necessarily shame or guilt. Fear is exposure.
Exposure disorients and reduces intelligence. In its overzealous caution, it necessarily restricts any kind of natural flow of action/words. Actions under exposure are jerky, abrubt, and clumsy. Words/concepts are choppy, incomplete, stuttering, and formatory (e.g., overly-conventional knee-jerk counterpoints, devil's advocations, and sick jokes).
[LOGAN NOTE: One of the best arguments against immoral living is that it inevitably causes exposure.]
NEW LOST FRAGMENTS PLUNDERED FROM TROJAN'S DUSTY NOTEBOOKS!!!
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