3AM Ramblings

12 Feb 98

It is 3AM
and ghosts walk through my heart
each footprint
a tear left in my soul
for those things lost.
It is 3AM
and nothing seems right
with my world today
for all I can see is the emptiness
of my life without HIM
when I thought the next 50 years 
together
was too short a time
and that love began and ended
with HIM.
It is 3AM
and all the good I do
all the joy I feel
all the happiness I own
seems pointless
and worthless.
It is 3AM
and I long to open the window
and scream out my tears
that fall so frequently in this heart
for the blighted past
that created this creature
that cannot comprehend peace
and that knows not how to handle joy
but must continually bemoan the loss
of her heart
and search out the chaos
that makes her know
she is alive.
It is 3AM
and I loathe this whining 
that I hear from these lips
that usually make such sense
yet this moment can do naught
but surrender to the pain
that lonliness does bring
while powerless to stop
the anguish.
And, while it is 3AM
every stupid thought I have
of ending this misery
seems reasonable.

© 1998, Tara Tambollio

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