|
Mar 1998 Anonymous, did I hear your breath in my ear whispering sighs of might have beens and why do I now feel bereft? What have you taken from me with your soul-connection and bindings that render me helpless to your thoughts until the one that reads false. Sun, lost to the horizon, I find myself alone, drifting, caring for naught but preservation of self and even that matters little. It is 3AM again, that vacuous time that sucks the joy from the marrow of my life so that I am left empty and pale, wasted memories of yesterday scattered about my mind in sunshine yellow and sepia tones of today washing away the happiness. I thought I had written you, annonymous, some words that screamed my pain but you do not hear. Rocket hot with love, I had fired along this path recklessly, strung out on the soulmate I heard whispering down the line so fervently. Slamming into the wall of your lies I am jarred against my disbelief. How did you think my anger might form along straight lines and crooked eyes so that you distort my fabric of reality into funny-house pictures of |O| mouths and gaping eyes? Did you believe nothing mattered? Slow...slow, my friend. When naught else would have harmed me pained me destroyed faith razor-bladed my recent trust as this that you do. Whisper...I hear this whisper. Naught matters but catching the sound once more in my heart so that I might discern the patterns your breath makes. Brilliant one, might I dismiss your discourse on this one action? Can this blink-old friendship dyed in purple thoughts and bright yellow ideals be the tie that binds me to you, or do we have some reborn hope given up in another learning so that we might connect again in fireworks and tender words reaching across miles to touch? Yet, you explain, this is not special-unique to you. Am I your phone-whore, mind-slut that you satisfy your desires with one thrusting thought at a time? Lie to me. I know the story well, and I am not listening. |