Bells of Home

10 April 2001

The bells of home echo in my heart
though I’ve never felt the place before,
and the family I find is more mine
than any that I was raised with.
Can genetics share philanthropic inclinations
as it does creative talent,
and pass along social conscience
with Jewish fascination?
Alien emotions wrack my soul;
unconditional acceptance, sweet remembrance
and the relief of the truth.
Bless you, mother, for giving me up
when your schizophrenic personalities
might have wreaked more havoc
than the chaos of my life.
I have been judgmental
called you betrayer
left your heart empty of a daughter
for I did not understand
and my upbringing did not prepare me
for unconditional things.

I feel more centered and confident
for I finally have the safety net
of wholesome love and broader shoulders
so that I do not always have to be
the strong one, the responsible one,
the one that shouldered the dysfunction
	of that false family.
I am weary of being the conscience 
of a consciencousless people.

Ah, the bells of home are echoing in my heart
calling me home.


© 2001, Tara Tambolleo