I Do Not Care

21 Apr 2000

I do not care.


Lay your wounded pride amongst the stones
Broken foundations of all you created
Ashes of a future you gleefully burned down,
And I can do naught
But not care.


I see your ruined castles in the air
That you built with lies and evasions,
Pretending a family
That did not exist.


So, now I return,
And you pull out your arsenal of guilt
Ready to make war on my absence 
As if my choices ruined your moats
Piled dirt and poison into healthy waters.


Gather your sheep into one house
And pray that closeness will heal
All the broken ties of this ill family.


I am not here for you.


I am here for the sister I found
For the future I see in her children’s eyes 
For the damage I will not let you create
For the havoc I shall avert.


I will not care.


You may mouth your platitudes with convincing sincerity
And tell me how I could not know
All the things that you refuse to face
Which led you to perverse thoughts
	Of me.


I hear no apology.
You lie still,
But I no longer care.


You silence now amuses me
For I see the limitations you create for yourself
And I will not allow your dysfunction
Control over my life.


All the castles in the sand 
Crumble
And I shall no longer prop them up
With mendacity on my lips
And the sickly sweet taste of evasion in my heart
As you wear your blinders facing yesterday
And thus corrupt the chance for tomorrow.


Dissipated, the anger fades
Wrath released
For I am larger than your lies
And indifferent to the fairy tales you wish to tell.


Ask me a question
Anyone
And I shall smile my truths
Cool veracity a testament to my wisdom
And a facet of my life you can not comprehend,


But I do not care.


Victory I have won in loving this self
And forgiving my tears
But for you


I shall not care.



© 2000, Tara Tambolleo