Courage

28 May 98

With each thought, mind changed
confusion rampant ~
I thought I had this moment
tied up in lucid dreams
yet finding naught but fever
new beginnings, jaded hope
torn apart by reality's knocks ~



Is this the way it goes?
Show me the dream
of knight in bright armour
without the doormat 
upon his head
and the self-effacing demeanor
that is naught but lack of esteem 
disguised ~
I do not need your tight views
that pigeon-hole me into boxes
and pictures of the perfect lady
that shall never be me;
that lace and pastel attitude
and the desire for nothing
but children and white picket fences ~
You wish to murder my natural curiousity
my need of answers 
because it frightens the little boy in you
and makes you swear
the fault is mine
for you do not comprehend 
courage ~



Furrowed brow of disappointment
I see your judgement clear
in beautiful eyes
that used to hold passion ~
So quickly, my demise
has been wrought by truth
that you must capture and cage
lest it destroy your narrow view
blind-folded honesty
veiled veracity ~



I can not be your Stepford doll or pastel dreams
for they tie me down to utterances
and screams of frustrated freedom
that you unwittingly attempt to steal ~
I can not be your canary
sweet songbird
throwing golden songs even while caged
that knows not that it is imprisoned,
for I am born wild, jungle free ~



Your need for boxes and cages
suffocates me
and I will not be stifled
because you are afraid ~