This Winter

05/11/98

This winter I lost Ceili, 
her scarred lungs fluttered, 
her guts shut down, 
and she was gone, a god-bye. 
This winter they sliced up my little son's sleep
and cut out my first born's confidence, 
so I homeschooled them both 
through surgery and flood 
until the small deaths that threatened them washed 
away in their night. 
This winter I was betrayed and hunted 
when yuletide pulled me under, 
the poet I sistered sinking under her family 
who attacked until they could attack no more. 
This winter my ancestral daughter came back 
following the tatters of her life, 
and I mothered us both through the agency of hell. 
This winter our heart-damaged dog lived beyond 
expectations, 
our monster kittens busted my china memories,
my bankrupt house rearranged to reveal riches, 
and through it all, you husbanded me on up and out 
until this winter became our own.