01 January 98
How can I tell you this, my friend? You will not understand, I know, for the impulses and desires ruling my heart do not touch yours. How can I tell you that I need more without you thinking I mean golden chains that will bind us on paper yet can do naught for the long trips and dusty cars that might do us in. I need to hold you in caring arms and gentle worries off your brow and touch your brilliant soul in passion, yet you might see this as committment. I fear, oh, so much I fear, for I do not want those useless vows made in front of some priest who is denied that which he gives us, yet I know I want more than you can give. I will want a relationship someday; after the friendship has had a chance to develop, after you learn to love the idiosyncrasies of my soul, after I learn to tolerate your relentless intelligence,
(that I already love too much). Ah, but you... you know so well how to cloak your heart so that -- once decided -- it is final. I will not lie to you, though friendship is what I need to begin with, it is not all that I desire from you, and it is probably more than you can give.
~~ Tara Tambollio
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