Time To Forget

Sing to this child
and rock her to sleep
with fantasies of hope 
that seem not to come true.
Where is the soulmate
that I was promised
back when anguish was a everyday event
and pain held no sway for being familiar?
Did I not create him
sometime in my youth
with the ink that I poured to parchment
wailing this abuse
and searching for the dream
that I must have earned by now?
Is my debt not paid
for sins created in youth
that the youth couldnot know?
Is it not time
to be absolved from this crime
that I did not commit?
Ah, it seems that I have much left to do
and many more trials to bear
to forge this creature
that I am becoming.
I yearn to be shallow
and content with having no character
for character is only created
by this blood 
that stains my hands.
Tell me, you who would judge me
what else am I to do
but build these walls yet higher
to protect this aching soul
so easily bruised
and so damn trusting 
that she falls prey to mendacity
and loves her liar.
Which is worse,
not knowing what joy there might be
or having to pay for what joy I have known?


I have held love in my hands
felt the caress of my happiness
known the transcendal joy that comes
from giving everything to the love
and reveled in joining passions


Perhaps it is time
to forget.