The Abyss

The empty blackness, 
the vacuum between heaven and hell.
It robs me of reason and reality,
creating in it's wake,
a skewed dimension of it's own.


Bit by bit,
hour by hour, 
sanity slips away,
leaving me with only the empty pain 
of the void that was my soul.


No longer a feeling, not only an emotion,
it becomes a place, an altered state,
a world of its own, that imprisons me.
Cruel temptations of freedom, tantalizingly close,
waved in my face and snatched away when I reach.

  
Eventually, I accept, consign myself to my lot.
Yet somewhere in the depths, part of me knows,.
the part that still feels the pain.
So small.
The UN-numb part, the part that is still..me
Un-accepting, rebellious, the part no one ever sees.

  
The fine thread breaks, the animal unleashed, 
finally undeniable, primal and self-preserving,
The first word "I" have spoken in years is uttered,
in a scream,
"NO"