If You Had Been Real, Ben

Oct 97


In the embrace of a new life,
I tremble, thinking of you.
My love, my light, my life...
I needed to give you away
to find myself again.
Your mendacity too caring
for me to be able to stay,
enclosed in the fantasy world you create,
pretending we might be together again
someday.
Soon, you shall return to find me gone.
No forwarding address, no hints left on careless stationary,
only gone.
You, my love, tear my heart to pieces.
So, you will blame me,
never realizing that your mendacity
drove me away more surely than all your women.
I miss you, love,
though I should not.
Mayhap someday my heart shall heal.
Until that moment,
when I may trust again,
I shall try to forget you
and the wonder that we might have been
had you been real.




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