In Truth

Do I shock you with these truths
so long held secret to my body
while they ate heart and soul
into mush so like your convictions
and perceptions of reality?
What, my mother and my father?
Do you not like the words I write
in delayed anger at your indifferent love
and your certainty that I was so black
running the streets to find comfort
in the darkness that finally
matched the color of my despair?
Your conditional love and dysfunctional family
stole my childhood from me too young
as I gave away my esteem 
and my innocence 
to your son's body and lusts
that were not my burden!
Hate me! Curse my words,
but do it in truth, if you can. 
Let your anger spill over
as mine did for so many years
that I cannot count the tears
and the bleak anguish that
murdered the child I was
and disfigured the woman I might have been. 
Do I shock you, then, with these words 
that I give you through my only solace
sreaming out the agony that you never heard
as I blackened my eyes with makeup
and ran violently out into the forgiving night
that you could never forgive?
Then, hate me and curse me,
but do it in truth!!




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