My Dream:  To Be A Stay At Home Dad
	Dream 1:  To Be A Stay At Home Dad. One thing that I have always failed to understand, especially since going to college and law school is how the female sex has tried so hard to have careers.  Why?  My dream, and any of my friends will tell you that its been my dream for a large portion of my life is to stay home and take care of the kids while my wife worked.  Honestly, is there a better deal in life.  You stay home while you're wife goes to work.  You send the kids off to school and than have 7 hours to yourself to watch ESPN and possibly have lunch beers with your buddies who are also stay at home dads.  All you have to do is vacuum a couple of rooms and load up the washing machine.  Will some women explain to me why this sucks so much because I don't think you can.
		Here's how one of my typical days would go: 6:30 - Wake up, shower, wake kids up 7:00 - Feed kids cold cereal and turn on sportscenter 7:30 - Put kids on Bus 7:31 - take nap 10:00  - wake up, turn on sportcenter 10:30 - put a load of laundry in, watch sportscenter 11:00 - put laundry in drier, vacuum while watching the Price is Right 11:30 - first official beer of the day 12:00 - meet buddies for lunch, discuss sportscenter 1:00 - go home with another stay at home dad to play the lastest version of madden 2:00 - get home, make sure every thing is in order, turn on dish washer, take nap 2:59 - wake up 3:00 - (if i couldn't pawn my kids off on one of their wiener friend's dopey parents)watch kids 3:30 - send daughter to her room for not wanting to play NHL 2013.  Unground son so he can play 4:00 - tell daughter she can come out of her room if she grabs daddy a cold beer from the fridge 4:01 - send daughter back to her room for getting me one of mommies wine coolers(but not before she actually gets me the beer) 5:00 - "make dinner" - either throw frozen food into the oven or order out 5:30 - wife arrives home - yell at her as soon as she steps in the door about how tough it is to be the stay at home dad and how she doesn't help out at all.  Keep guilt trip going until its time to go to bed and have sex. (possibly mention that she's gaining weight when she first arrives home or after sex)
			Dream 2:  To Lead the Buffalo Bills To A Super Bowl Victory. At first this dream involved me being the quarterback that lead the Bills to that illusive Super Bowl win.  But sometime in high school (it should have been junior if not grade school) I realized that that wasn't going to happen.  So than it switched to be the coach of GM and it seems that those jobs are pretty hard to get, not to mention pretty hard to be successful at.  So to keep this dream alive I will consider myself to have lead the bills to the ultimate glory if 1.  The Bills win the Super Bowl and   2.  I keep posting messages on the internet critiquing the Bills during the season they win the Super Bowl.
				Dream 3:  To Marry Britney Spears. It could happen, apparently I just have get her really drunk in Las Vegas
					Dream 4:  To Bruise the Bottom of My Brother's Feet. For the longest time I have attempted to bruise the bottom of my brother Nicky's feet so every step that he took would cause him excrutiating pain..  I also use to try to force him to shove stuff up his nose and cry for no reason at al;.but the real dream was always to injure the sole's of his feet.  Just think, every time he wanted to get up off the couch and go to the kitchen for a drink he'd either have to gingerly walk on his tippy toes or crawl, causing our dogs to widly hump him.