J.J. Redick?  Too gay to play at Duke?

For the month of March, I have selected JJ Redick of Duke (the second most hated team in america after the Yankees) as the worst human ever (or WHE as I hope it will soon be refferred too in the mass media).  What's wrong with JJ?  Well, theres a lot of reasons.  Here are the most important ones. 1.  Every NCAA analyst, commentator and broadcaster sucks his dick.  Have you ever heard one person on CBS, ABC or ESPN say something other than how great a shooter he is?  No you haven't because they all have an anal crush on him.  And the worst part is he isn't always that great.  Sure he hits some shots but look at his ACC and NCAA tournament stats.  I didn't so I'm just going on the games I watched and he missed way more shots than he made.  Thats not good for someone who is being herald as jesus if he played the two spot.  He's techincally been on a slump so long that its time to just say he sucks.  And have you seen him try to drive with the basketball.  All he can do is come across the lane and bank something in.  Its like he just perfected the move in NBA 2K4 and figured he'd do it all the time in a real game.  And for christs sakes, will someone not fall for his fucking head fake.  When he does it every time someone is in his face, its not a head fake.  I know this is going to upset Jay Bilas and Dick Vitale, but they're white love boy would get eaten up if he ever played in the NBA.  I can't wait to Ben Gordon just makes him cry on the court. 2.  He runs like he just put on roller blades for the first time.  He doesn't lift his knees and he just slides around the court.  If you're going to play division one basketball learn to run you flamer. 3.  His fucking head bob after he makes a big shot is the most annoying thing ever.  Its like he's trying to make sure we all know he has an IQ that rivals Forrest Gumps.  Well, using a high tech computer program I took a video of his head bob and had it mapped out in a computer.  Here it is:

Interestingly, it is the exact same motion that Dasha, the porn star makes when she uses her  technique for oral stimulation of a male sexual unit.  Here is what the computer graphed for her:

They are the exact same! I could have included all the force vectors here, but the only one who would have gotten that scientific stuff may have been clader.  But do I think that JJ copied his head bob from watching Dasha give head?  No, I think he discovered it independantly on one of his recruiting trips to Duke while he was in high school.  And I think its sure paid off for him.  Have you seen how wet that head bob gets Jay Bilas?  Does this mean that JJ Redick is gay?  I don't know but it sure means he give one awesome blow job.  And for anyone questioning my work here, just run his head bob and Dasha giving head through a computer program that maps body movement and you will be lead to the same irrefutable conclusion that I have.

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