Lindsey Lohan v. Hillary Duff
(i.e. You are a Fucking Idiot if You Think Hillary Duff is Hotter)
Recently, I've learned that several of my friends, who I thought were bright intelligent people, think that Hillary Duff is hotter than Lindsey Lohan.  Preposterous, there is no possible way one can logically come to that conclusion unless you have a fetish for  young women who look like an attractive chimpanzee with a blonde wig on. Before I get into all the reasons why Lindsey Lohan is hotter and way better, lets just compare pictures of the two of them.
The one on the right of this gruesome twosome is Hillary Duff.
Lindsey Lohan
It is easy to see who is hotter from these two pictures.  And the fact is, that wasn't nearly the hottest Lindsey Lohan picture I could get and I would dare someone to find a better Hillary Duff picture.

Now, even though we know the answer that Lindsey Lohan is hotter it is important to say why these two are almost always compared to each other.  One, they're relatively the same age and both have aspiring movie and music careers.  That and they hate each other because they both dated that wiener Aaron Carter at the exact same time.  Actually, I believe they're fued while not only involving the occassional snubs and girlish behind the back shit talking actually progressed to the level of egging the other ones car.  (I love teenage girls.  I am not sure at what point I can no longer love them, or if I have reached that point when I am going to realize it, but either way it will be a horrible day.)  But before I get off on a tangent on how the media has conditioned me to think 13 year old girls are hot (i.e. JoJo) let me give the actual reasons why Lindsey Lohan is hotter.

1.She doesn't look like a monkey with a blonde wig.  Lindsey's face is so much better than Hillary's its not funny.  I really do not see how this is even debatable.

2.  She's got the better body and the bigger boobs.  I've heard people say that she still has baby fat.  Well, the pictures I see, I do not see a girl that is one ounce out of shape.  And two, Hillary Duff is not rail thin either.  Look at her arms in the picture above.  You know what those are, girl softball player arms.  I'm not saying Hillary Duff doesn't have a good body, just that you can't claim that Hillary's body is anywhere better than Lindsey's.

3.  Her personality is way better.  Just kidding, this could be for another column comparing their careers or something.  It doesn't matter here.

4.  Lindsey Lohan does not have to be shot at (by a camera) only at certain angles like Hillary Duff.  Dennis Lee pointed this out to me and its true. 

5.  Honestly, does it really matter, Lindsey Lohan is hotter.  I could write more about this but I haven't put anything up on my webpage for 5 months so I should rap this up and start working on my salute to R. Kelly.
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