|
I'm going out on a limb here and taking the position that eigth graders shouldn't have sex. Other than the problem of teen pregnacy and the fragile emotional status of 13 year olds, 8th graders shouldn't have sex because I couldn't in 8th grade. I had no pubic hair whatsoever and I question my ability to ejaculate at that point. Plus, 8th graders are just to dumb to have sex. But what brought on this daring, if not heroic, moral position? A conversation I had with Sawyer concerning a friends of his little brother, who in 8th grade had sex with some girl in 8th grade and because they had no condom used a plastic grocery bag for protection. Yep, thats right, a bag right from wegmans or pathmark or whatever grocery store you have around you. It could not possibly have worked very well, but its one hell of a way to lose your virginity. I would imagine, since I haven't attempted to use a plastic bag as a condom, that the more he thrusted the deeper he burried it into the girl. Sawyer speculated that he could have held onto the handles while he humped away. The friction must have sucked on both sides of it. Plus, how do you wipe up with a plastic bag? Now I feel these kids were too dumb to have sex. Why? Well if I were going to go for a home made condom, I would use a sandwich bag, or ziplock bag and keep it on with a rubber band or something similliar. Or I would wrap it up using saran wrap or some other plastic wrap. Than for lubricant I would use pam, crisco or some delicious melted butter. If these kids were honor students, or had any sense at all they would have done this instead of using a huge flappy bag like a grocery bag. I'm surprised he didn't brown bag it. Finally, my new plan is now to do a tour with Sawyer where we go into junior high schools and demonstrate how to make effective condoms using common household items. I'm sure the republicans will make a big deal about our controversal show, but whats worse, the show or thousands of pregant teenage girls because the grocery bag broke? |
|
