Whats Wrong With Sports Center

I watch Sportscenter everyday.  And I'm going to continue to watch Sportscent everyday.  But every time I watch it a bunch of shit pisses me off.  Here is what I think is mostly to blame for it sucking.

1.  Linda Cohn - She is by far the worst thing on sportscenter.  First, she looks and more importantly sounds like your nerdy friends dorky mom trying to be cool about talking about sports.  Everytime she says "He's a fly guy" I want to bash her with a lead filled pvc pipe.  I'm surprised that she doesn't say, "he's a fly guy, do any of you boys want another grilled cheese?"  I'm not going to say girls can't co-anchor sports news shows, but if Linda Cohen is the best that can be offered, than there should be no vaginas allowed.  (Notice, I assume Linda Cohn has a vagina - could be a big mistake.)  Finally, no matter how much make up they put on her or how much they cover her face with her hair you know that she's completely hidious.

2.  Too Many Highlights lists- What I mean about this, there are too many lists of highlights(duh).  The top ten is good.  But Berman, there already is a top ten so when you do yours just keep it completely to football.   There is no need to make two top ten list with 7 of the exact same freakin plays.  Than there is the ultimate highlights which sucks because I have no clue what is going on.  If I wanted to do acid and watch sports I would just do acid and watch sports.  I don't need an ESPN editor faking it for me.  Plus the coors highlights for football were completely unnecessary.  At first it was kinda cool but after two weeks of seeing it I didn't need to see two more minutes of the same football highlights that i've already seen, now set to a witty song involving coors light.  You're beer sucks and so do you're highlights.

3.  Kenny Mayne - Where the fuck is Kenny Mayne?  He's by far the best anchor on the show and yet he doesn't anchor anymore.  Sure, he does some piece from a football game or a nascar race but I need more Kenny Mayne.  Come back Kenny, I need you're dry wit and straight face.  In fact, are there any anchors left that I want to watch?

4.  Jay Bilas - Dude, you're head looks like an eggplant.  Get a hair cut that actually works with a receding hairline.  Also, don't be so homosexual when talking about J.J. Redick.  In fact, ESPN should just get rid of him totally because I don't think he cannot look like Michael Jackson drooling over small boys when he looks at teenagers in basketball shorts.

5.  Too many cut ins during highlights of the game - Ok, so theres a 30 second higlight of an NBA game stretched to 2 minutes by expert analyze by some former NBA player who sounds like a second grader reading infront of the class for the first time.  The cut ins actually distract me from the highlights and all I get is shit I don't care about.  I mean I don't care.  I want the scores, the big highlights and how many points Elton Brand put up for my fantasy team.  Other than that I don't care what any "expert" douches has to say about anything.