Heero was walking on a street through as he always did, How else was he going to get anywhere? Of course he was alone because that to is how he always was too. He had no one and nothing to cling to and love. Sure he was the perfect soldier but he was still, or I think he sort of is, human. He needed something to be loved by and to love. But he didn't. Relena was busy and he didn't like the hypocrite passivist anyway. The suggested by yaoi lovers like me Duo was a boy. Why would he like a boy? After all dirty old Dr. Jhad raped him through out his life.

Heero was all alone and had only one pathetic reason to live. His missions. The person whom had tortured him his entire life gave them to him. Now that the war was over he didn't even have missions to live for. Why should he live? No reason really he was always trying to kill himself and the reason was because his life had no meaning. As he once said, "Life is cheap. Especially mine." He wasn't lying. He wished more then anything that he was dead. No he had one reason. He had to keep other meaningless people alive so they could live their useless lives and think they have some significance. But they didn't need protecting anymore.

He had had a meaning back then. He was a Gundampilot and people thought that he could save the world. Those days were over and Zechs was supposedly dead. Well he wasn’t Zechs anymore. When he was killed he went by the name of Milliard Peacecraft. His meaning was to destroy earth and Heero had killed him. Now though he had no meaning. He hugged his trench coat and walked into a dark alley. There he saw a fellow Gundam pilot getting beaten up.

"I told you I have no money." Said Duo trying to block the punches. Unfortunately he wasn't doing togood at it.

"You’re a Gundam pilot! You saved the world! You expect me to believe that Queen Relena didn't give youa prize?" said the thief.

"Yeah I do! Relena's not exactly found of me ya know!" Duo said getting punched again in the gut. He looked up and noticed Heero. "Hiya pal! Ya gonna help me or are ya gonna just watch me get killed?"

Heero shrugged and walked away. He heard Duo get socked a few more times then heard him fall to theground.

"Guess he is just a lonely guy…doesn’t care for no one else but number one." Whispered the braided boyright before he passed out.

Heero heard these words and felt remotely guilty. He continued to walk and heard Duo's body getting beaten still. He was alone and had no need for anyone but himself. Helping Duo would just have been a waist of time. He continued to walk through the streets and saw the streetlights turn on. The sky was black and same with everything else. He felt a chill of cold air blow past his back and shivered. So cold…so alone… He knew that Trowa would be the one other person in this world alone like him. Nanashi was what Trowa was once called and it fit the boy quit well according to Heero. No name was what he should have been called. No name, Nanashi…

He decided to slowly make his way to the circus and visit the banged boy. Quatre had always been nice to Trowa but he always replied in a silent whisper. Heero wondered what all the pilots were doing now thatthere was no world to save. He wondered if that everyone's life was as meaningless as his was. He knew Duo was supposed to be rich or something. Trowa knew everything about everyone and so he would check up on everyone by talking to him.

He saw a circus tent with bright lights in it. He hugged his trench coat tight since it seemed weird to see everyone or hear about them at least. He already knew about Quatre and the resource satellites up in space. They were great and the Arab boy was even richer then before. His older sisters had helped him a lot and taken good care of him. He walked through the ticket both without paying but once the people saw his gun they didn't question him.

Quickly he walked to the back area where Trowa was cleaning up and putting his clown clothes and stuff away. He noticed that Heero had walked in and he was wearing a black trench coat. Trowa put down his clown mask and looked at Heero with a somewhat surprisedlook.

"Biyo." Said Heero as he sat on the floor next to the chest of Trowa's clown things.

Trowa nodded. "Hello Heero. Why are you here?" heasked.

Heero took a deep breath then answered. "I was wondering what the other pilots are up to now."

Trowa shook his head. "They aren't pilots anymore. Quatre sort of is but all he does is work on resource satellites. WuFei…he is trying to rebuild the colony that he was from. And getting the clan back… Duo is running on the streets trying to live through everyday. He never really got a job…he said he wanted to live life to the fullest he could and I guess by that he means being poor and living on the streets."

Heero smirked a little bit and looked at Trowa. "You forgot someone."

The Italian nodded and finished with, "I am still a clown. I haven't found anything else to do. You still wander around the streets alone. And you came to visit me because you wanted to know about the other pilots. I think you just wanted to talk to someone."

Heero was slightly shocked to hear someone know so much about him that hardly ever talked. "How didyou?"

"I can tell just by looking at you. You look lonely." Heero didn't reply to that and just asked Trowa. "I'm lonely too but at least I can admit when I am not something. You need to let go Heero…"

The Japanese boy continued to look shocked. How did he know so damn much? He just ignored it andraised a hand. "Ja."

"Bai." Said the banged boy.

Heero walked out of the circus tent. He was going to go home for the night and do what he always did. Type on his laptop. His one and only friend. He walked through the streets and went through that same alley he always went through. He liked going the back way to his house. He slipped through the back window of his apartment and took off the trench coat.

He looked onto the couch and found his laptop. He sat down behind the bright glow and started typing about the day's events. The screen read:

I walked down the street alone as always. I saw the usually perky Duo get his ass kicked. I saw Trowa at the circus and he told me about the other pilots and how they were. Then I proceeded home. Alone as always…

He shut his laptop and looked into the sky. 'Why should I live?' he thought. He reached onto the coffee table and grabbed his gun. He fingered it and felt every grove and edge of it. 'Should I shot myself and end my meaningless life?' he asked himself. He picked up the gun and put it to eye level. He slipped it into his mouth. 'I am alone no one would find my dead body. No one would miss me.' He put his finger on the trigger. 'Why should I live? I can erase others pain if I pull the trigger.' His hand trembled as he held the gun in his mouth. 'Why can't I do it? Why am I not doing this? I can do this so why am I not? I have no reason to live…'

Duo opened the door of Heero's apartment and was shocked to see Heero with a gun in his mouth. He dropped the groceries he was holding. "WHAT THE YARO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" He screamed as he ran up to Heero. He quickly slapped him across his face. "If your gonna die don't do it in front of me ya gotit?"

The Japanese boy grabbed his face and dropped the gun by Duo's foot. For the first time in his life it actually hurt when someone hit him. "K." he said. "Why are you here anyway? I thought you passed out onthe street."

"Yeah I did…but then I found Trowa at the circus and he told me you came earlier and looked sorta lonely. And I sorta am…well so I decided to come and visit ya and check on ya. After all you were the guy who did eat bread and water when you were hungry." Duo signaled to the groceries that were at the door. "So I brought ya some food. And it's a good thing Idid or else you'd be dead!"

Heero nodded. He personally didn't want to talk about him trying to kill himself any more so he tried to start a different conversation. "What'd ya bringme?" he asked.

"Go look in the bag." Heero got up and walked to the spilt bag of groceries on the floor. "Well I'm glad you're alive…" whispered Duo as he saw Heero benddown.

"Why is that?" Heero asked as he cleaned up the bag and put it on the counter.

"No reason. I did want to slap you for letting those guys beat me up but I guess I got to slap you for a different reason. Works for me. Well anywho I'll see ya later." Said Duo getting ready to shut thedoor and leave.

"Hey wait!" shouted Heero right before the doorshut.

"Nani?" asked Duo calmly peeking in.

"I uh…wanted to know if you wanted to stay fordinner tonight."

"Sure thing!" said Duo happy to hear about food. "But I think I'll cook Mr. Suicidal Ex-Mission Freak." Heero frowned. "Hey I'm just kidding love! Lightenup!"

The Japanese boy's mouth dropped open. "Love?"

The American shook his head. "I was just kidding about that too, of course."

Heero sighed and nodded. 'I wish it were true. Then I'd be loved…and have a reason to live.'

"Hey why do ya look so sad that I was jus kidding?" asked Duo putting his arm around Heero.

Heero was very happy that he decided to wear jeans that day. Happier then pie in fact…that he waswearing jeans.

"No reason." Said the monotone-speaking ex-pilot.

"All right." Said Duo sighing. "Well you knowwhat?"

"Nani?"

"I wasn’t kidding actually I do love you and wish you loved me back. More importantly I wish you wouldn't try to kill yourself and that…" Duo's voicetrailed off.

Heero was so shocked it was hard to ask Duo to finish his sentence. "And that what?"

"And that you would turn on a light so I could see two inches in front of me." Said Duo smiling.

"Uh…sure." Said Heero as he flipped on a light switch. As the light flickered on he could see Duo's scratches and that his forehead was bleeding like crazy. It was dripping onto Heero's nice black carpetin fact.

"Duo you're bleeding." Heero said.

Du-kun glanced at the Japanese boy. "No shitSherlock." Heero frowned.

"Let me get you a Band-Aid or something." Duo nodded and Heero got up and got a box of Band-Aids forDuo.

"Uh…I don't think that's enough…" said Duo. He fell onto the floor. Heero checked him over and came down that Duo had fainted from the lose of blood.

"Hn…I better take care of this." Heero started to pick up Duo and felt how cold he was. He was like a block of ice that needed to melt. The Japanese boy started a fire and put Duo on the couch in front of it. He put a blanket around Duo and wrapped his head. Heero made some chicken noodle soup and, since he had nothing better to do, laid down next to Duo and huggedhim.

The American blinked twice and slowly woke up to find that something was hugging him. He didn't know what it was but it felt right as it hugged him around the waist from behind. He didn't know where he was so he might have been at Hilde's.

"Who are you?" he asked not turning around since he also felt a gun on his back.

"It's me…I decided I like you." Heero mumbled.

"Heero? You…like me? Well I love you…" Duo whispered. He turned around and saw Heero smirking. "Wipe that smirk off your face boy!" Duo exclaimed.

"Well I said it wrong…Du-kun…I love you."

"REALLY?" Duo smiled too. "Well you sure as hell are warm so don't let go of me. And if you do I think I will die from lack of heat…that reminds me…if you ever try to take your life again I'll make sure your afterlife is worse then this life."

"How?"

"Umm…like I'm gonna tell ya!" said Duo. 'Hmm…this is wrong but it feels right. I'm not so coldanymore.'

"OK." Heero said. 'I thought I was straight…but this feels so perfect. I don't care if I'm the perfect soldier anymore. After all there aren't anymore wars and there's no need to be perfect.'

Duo let out a happy sigh and Heero just hugged him tighter. "You know what Heero. This feels right." Heero nodded and then Duo fainted again and took anice long nap. Heero just continued to hug him.