| WARNING! DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU'VE READ SQUIRE! Okay, I know there are tons of time-travel TP stories but the Jerry Springer incident still hasn't cured my writers block, so I thought I'd have some fun just messing around. La-la-la. Sigh. Bangs head against desk in the hope of passing out. Writes note to friend. Writes letter to uncle. Bangs head some more. Tries to listen to teacher without falling asleep. I went through my usual routine of surviving another history class with my teacher, Mrs. J. Today I'd add a twist to the routine by sneaking the newest TP book, Squire, into my history book. Gasp! Cleon and Kel! Personally, I was always a Neal fan. "Huh? What the hell, where am I?" I muttered, wiping the drool from my chin. (Hey, I bet you drool too!) Okay, I know I must have dosed off in history, but how could Mrs. J redecorate so fast? (I just woke up, give me a break!) Apparently, I have been transported back to Tortall. You'd think I be shocked and confused, wouldn't you? Ah ha! But, luckily for me, my exposure to ff.net has prepared me for just such an occasion! I now keep my sugar high inducers and list of things to say handy 24-7. Speaking of a sugar high, I could use one right about now! I thought, pulling the sugar packets I stole from McDonalds and pouring the contents of 10 into my mouth. Ah, much improved. Now, where's that list. Here it is. Okay, now I just have to find the people on my list. How unusual, I have been relocated right into the royal palace in Corus. OMG!!!! Is that Neal? Ah yes, it is. Look at the list, here it is. Things to say to Nealan of Queenscove You are sooo cute. I love to read too. Don't worry about Yuki. She really likes you. Don't play with fans. Are you sure you don't have a twin that I could take back with me? I simply state these things to him, and then continue down the hall, looking for my next victim. Things to say to Keladry of Mindelan You go girl! Can you hook me up with one of your friends? You honestly think Cleon's cute? Can I hug you? Can I get your autograph? Two down, but several more to go. Ignoring Kel's mystified face, I continue on my search. Things to say to Faleron of King's Reach (After I kiss him on the lips, of course.) Don't tell Neal, but you're cuter than him. If I wasn't from another world, would you marry me? You wanna come back to the United States with me? I love you!! I grudgingly turned to be on my way, when he pulls me into his arms again. (Just had to throw that in!) Back on topic, Things to say to Roald of Conte Be a better king than your father You and Shinko are soo cute together! If you weren't engaged, I'd flirt with you. Check, check, check, who's next? Owen! Things to say to Owen of Jesslaw I love the word jolly! How can you be so cheerful all the time? What are you on? Can I have some? I stop for a sugar packet break. Refueled, I continue. Ah yes, Cleon. Things to say to Cleon of Kennan Why couldn’t Neal have gotten Kel? She had a crush on him b4 you came along! Comb your hair Don't hurt Kel Things to say to Kalasin of Conte What kind of princess are you? Don't you know princesses are supposed to get their way? Why did you let your father talk you out of being a page? Do I need to teach you the art of manipulation? It always works with my dad. Things to say to King Jonathan Jerk! Asshole! Jerk! (repeat pattern about 5 times.) Why did you do that to Kally? Why did you do that to Kel? (repeat pattern again, with a few more colorful words) Things to say to Queen Thayet You're all for girl power, why didn't you let Kally become a page? What kind of conditioner do you use? Who does your make-up? Do they have divorce in this era? Things to say to Lord Raoul You rock man! I love you for choosing Kel to be your squire! Can I have your autograph? Marry Buri and get it over with. And lastly, Things to say to Joren, Garvey, & Vinson (After several kicks to you-know-where) Assholes! Assholes! I am so glad the Chamber destroys you You're so lucky I don't live here, because I would beat the crap out of you. GIRL POWER! Feeling proud that I have accomplished everything on my list, it is time to go back. "Danielle! Did you hear me? Who said "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country"?" Mrs. J shouts at me. "Huh? What?" Mrs. J pats her foot impatiently while the rest of the class looks on. "Nathan Hale, a school teacher from New England after being caught as a spy during the Revolution," I sputtered without thinking. "Correct. Kristin, who said "Give me Liberty or give me death?" Mrs. J moves on to the girl sitting behind me. Whew, that was fun. I wish I could go back to Tortall everyday. But alas, one cannot live in the past, for the clock of time moves ever forward and never backward. Wait, then why do we have to learn history? |
| Another Time Travel Story Written by Dani Sue |
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