Written by purpleblue34
“All three of you?” Jon asked them with amusement showing in his voice.
“No just Raoul and me. We don’t know about Alan,” Gary said looking over at Alanna. She was petting Faithful pretending not to hear what they were saying with a small smile trying not to laugh.
This should be funny in the long run, the cat told Jon and Alanna purring with her petting him. They both laughed. Then with the looks they were getting Alanna said “Just something the cat said. You know talking, magic cat,” Alanna said trailing off. She quickly turned back to petting Faithful.
“So do you have a girlfriend?” Raoul asked.
“What makes you think that?” Jon asked trying not to laugh.
“Well you seem to of gone of Delia for some reason, you seem preoccupied, you’re nicer to Alan at balls and parties by not making him dance or talk to people he doesn’t want to, you seem to go off almost every eligible lady at court after one dance and you don’t dance with many of them anymore, you’re not trying to woo any of them and well you seem happy. You aren’t really this happy if you’re single are you?” Gary told his cousin.
“We thought you wanted to have as much fun as you can before you get married,” Raoul said. Alanna gave up with trying to smother her laughter and just laughed slightly bent over holding her stomach with so much laughing.
“I do. I’m just happy,” Jon told them. Looking at Alanna after he said that. She was wiping tears from her eyes before she caught his eye and held it for a moment before laughing again. Jon smiled and looked away again.
“So do you have a girlfriend?” Gary asked impatiently.
“My lips are sealed,” Jon said smiling.
“He does. So what’s her name?” Raoul asked. Jon shook his head still smiling. “What she look like then?” Gary asked.
“Gorgeous. You happy now?” Jon demanded. Alanna made a very un-lady like noise and laughed. By now she was very red from laughing and blushing.
“What she is,” Jon told them.
“You know who she is don’t you?” Raoul asked. Gary and him got up and centred on Alanna moving towards her like cornering something. Alanna looked up and saw them coming towards her. She stopped laughing and her face fell.
“Shit,” was the first word that came to Alanna’s head and mouth. Alanna looked around for an escape, she couldn’t find one. She looked at Jon with a look that said help me now. He shook his head laughing now himself since they had moved off him now. She glared at him.
“You know who she is don’t you? Come on tell your good old friends Gary and Raoul,” Gary said with a false smile on his face. Just then the bell that sounded the hour went.
“Oh, look at that we have to go,” Alanna said jumping up and edging her way past Gary and Raoul to Jon. Jon got up and followed Alanna out the door.
“We’ll surprise them. He’s been going out for her for ages. We noticed ages ago that something was up with him. She’ll probably be there. You ready?” Gary asked Raoul. He nodded. Gary tried the door it was locked. He got out his lock picks, which he had got from George. He unlocked the door and signalled to Raoul that he was going to open it. They opened the door to Jon’s rooms and went in. Jon’s room was on the right and Alan’s was on the right. They went to the bedroom door and quietly tried it. It was the dawn hour before the first bell had gone. Jon’s bedroom door was open. They opened the door and nothing could of prepared them for what they saw.
Gary let out a cry and Raoul just gaped with his mouth open.
Jon’s bed was in the left hand corner on the outside wall on the door’s right. Jon was asleep on his back with Alanna sleeping on her front in the crook of his right arm with her head resting on the top of his chest.
Alanna woke up and raised her head to look at Jon to see if he was awake. He was. He smiled at her. “Good morning,” she said and kissed him on the lips. She put her head back down on his chest and looked around the room. Her eyes went to the window with the summer light streaming into the room. They then moved round the rest of the room from the desk on her right and the round to the door.
She let out a shriek. The sheet was at the small of her back since Corus was having a heat wave this summer. She grabbed the part of the sheet on the right side of her covering Jon and pulled it up to cover her front better and rolled onto her back and then sat up. She had a look of horror on her face backing up against the wall.
“What?” Jon asked pulling himself up onto his elbows looking at her. When she didn’t give an answer he looked to where she was looking and his response was to say,” Oh, shit,” and fall back onto his back.
“I need a seat and a drink,” Raoul said quietly sitting down on a chair at the table at the other end of the room. Faithful came into the room and jumped onto the bed and in front of Alanna. Told you it’d turn out funny in the long run Faithful said smugly rubbing himself against Alanna’s arm. Alanna glared at the cat, while patting him.
Jon was watching Gary he had started pacing. Gary stopped pacing and looked at Jon. “You’re sleeping with a guy! You of all people to do that, both of you! You’re sleeping with Alan,” Gary almost shouted.
“I wouldn’t put it like that,” Jon said trying not to laugh.
“If you wouldn’t put it like that then how would you put it?” Gary demanded. Jon started laughing at this.
Meanwhile…
Raoul was sitting at the table shocked. He had never expected to find that Jon’s girlfriend was actually a guy, and Alan. He looked over at Alan. He was patting Faithful and whispered to the cat “ You were right it is funny.” She looked over at Gary and turned back to the cat biting his lip to stop himself from laughing.
He looked up at Raoul and caught his eyes. Alan looked down at Faithful and carried on petting him laughing softly. Raoul followed his eyes down to Faithful then quickly went back up.
Raoul’s eyebrows shot up and he moved back in the chair. “What the?” Raoul asked. Alanna looked up at him. She saw where his eyes where and looked down. She quickly crossed her arms over her chest.
“You aren’t supposed to stay looking there once you noticed,” she said sharply. “It took one of you awhile to notice that though,” she said thoughtfully.
He looked over at Gary who had just asked Jon how he would put it while Jon was laughing hysterically. “Gary? Gary? Gary!” Raoul said loudly the last time.
“”What?” Gary asked impatiently looking at Raoul.
“That isn’t Alan,” Raoul pointed out.
“I know what Alan looks like. If it isn’t Alan then who is it?” Gary asked him. Jon laughed even more.
“Alanna,” she said. They all looked at her. Jon reached over for a pair of breeches and put them on as the attention was all on her. Once he had some breeches on he picked up a shirt and threw it to Alanna. She smiled a thank-you and put on the shirt. They were still looking at her.
“You look and sound really like Alan,” Gary told her. Jon and Alanna laughed they were both bent over laughing clutching their sides.
Jon finally managed to say something, “That’s because she is Alan.”
“You just said she was Alanna. What are you on about?” Gary demanded.
“I’ll explain it to the two of you in a minute once you know go out while I get changed,” She told them edging to the edge of the bed and standing up. “He he, I have a big skirt. Now can you know, get out while I get dressed ‘cause I’m not going to do that in front of you two. Take the cat to, he’d probably start making comments so take him.” Jon picked up a shirt and followed Gary, Raoul and Faithful out while putting on his shirt. He smiled at her and closed the door behind him.
When Jon came out Raoul and Gary were waiting for him. “Explain,” Gary demanded.
“Don’t you think we should wait for her?” the looks Jon got he took it as a no and carried on, “Well her father was sending her to the convent and her twin Thom here. Alanna wanted to be a knight, Thom a mage. They swapped places. Alanna came as Alan and Thom went as Thom to the City of the Gods. Alanna just changed her name and said she was a boy. She isn’t that different she just wears dresses as well.”
“And likes guys,” Raoul put in.
“That would be another difference,” Jon said. They all smiled at that.
“You obviously know that,” Gary said with raised eyebrows. Raoul made a laughing noise behind his hand. Jon glared at him. He looked away. Jon banged on the door and shouted “Hurry up!” The muffled reply he got was, “I’m coming.”
The door was thrown open and Alanna came out and snapped “ Are you all happy now?”
“Looks like someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning,” Raoul remarked to the air. Raoul and Gary collapsed laughing. Alanna and Jon just glared. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist,” Raoul told them. Alanna walked over to him with a look on her face as though she was going to hit him. Raoul leaned back.
“Remember I know all the things Alan does and can hurt someone just the same. So careful what you say,” she said this then turned back towards Jon and walked back over to him.
“You still act like a guy. Like you walk like one,” Gary pointed out. Alanna whirled round at those words and glared the most evil glare she could. Jon mouthed she’s going to kill you to Gary and added the cutthroat action.
“I’ve been walking like this most of my life, I’m in these clothes so I’m Alan, who is supposed to be a guy, I only walk like a girl when I’m wearing a dress and do you know how hard it is to walk like that when you’re walking like a guy most of the time? Did you not hear what I told Raoul? Don’t worry I’m not going to kill you like Jon seems to think and say,” she told them angrily.
“How’d you know?” Jon asked.
“The cat told me,” Alanna said going back to stand next to Jon.
“Traitor,” Jon said to the cat who's response was just to lick his paws.
“That’s why you never went swimming,” Gary said slightly dumbstruck.
“Yeah. You know that’s what Jon said when he found out as well?” Alanna said.
“Really? You just told him cause he was going to be your knight master,” Gary said. The bell went telling people to get up.
“I wish. He found out before he asked me. I’ve got to go I’m meeting Myles. Jon’ll fill you in on who knows and like when you can say she and he and stuff like that, and don’t any of you dare tell George how you found out or I will hurt you,” she said threateningly before carrying on saying. “I’ll see you all at lunch,” she said cheerfully.
“So how’d you find out?” Raoul asked interested after she had gone.
“Funny story really. Not so at the time though. You remember when we went to the Black City? The Ysandir came out and tried to kill us. They were taunting us and trying to find out stuff about us. They managed to read our minds because we didn’t know that they could. So they read her mind,” Jon said stopping because he started laughing. “Anyway,” Jon continued, “One of them got into her head and then after she came round cause she had collapsed, the Ysandir collapsed. When she came round she went ‘See your companion for what she really is’” Jon stopped and laughed even harder this time. From the looks Gary and Raoul were giving him he said, “ If you were there you’d be laughing your heads off right now as well. So after that was said all of a sudden Alanna’s only wearing her belt and scabbard.” They all laughed.
*****************
The Start of the Joke
Alanna and Jon are in his main sitting at the table there laughing hysterically. On the table there are six knocked over bottles on the table and one standing up.
“Did he really do that?” Alanna asked in between laughs.
“Yep, you should of seen Aunt Mairi. She has never been that angry with Gary and me before. The two of us ended up having to help muck out the stables for the rest of the summer,” he said laughing. “We smelt of manure the whole summer.”
“We have to get up early in the morning we better get to bed. We are so going to be ill tomorrow,” Alanna said still giggling.
“Come on. One more drink won’t make much difference now, will it?” he asked pouring himself and Alanna each another drink out of the standing bottle finishing it off.
“Alright, alright. After this we go to bed. Think how much trouble we’ll get in when we turn up at the council meeting with a hang over,” she said quickly drowning her glass. Jon laughed and did the same.
“Are you coming?” she said smiling suggestively. He smiled back at her. Alanna got up and fell onto the ground. Jon put out his arm to stop her from falling and fell of his chair himself.
Jon fell on top of her. “Ouch,” she said and hit him on the arm. Jon started laughing, Alanna grinned and started laughing with him.
“You lost the bet,” he said softly.
“How?” she asked.
“You fell over first, and I only fell over to stop you,” he said.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t handle my drink.”
“It does because you fell over because you stood up. So you know have to do something,” he told her smugly.
“What?” she asked curiously and warily.
“You have to go to the next ball with no complaints,” he asked smiling since she couldn’t see his face the way they were on the floor.
“Fine,” she said. If she were sober or just a lot more sober than she was now she would have been suspicious of what he said.
“Wearing a dress, face paint and all. That means dancing and everything. No flirting though!” he told her sternly at the end.
“What!” she exclaimed.
“I knew you’d like that one. The conditions are that you have to get someone to dance with you for every dance in that hour and I get the first and last dance. If you can do that then I’ll get you a present and it’s a bet so you have to do it. You can’t tell Gary or Raoul any of this I want to see their faces.”
When Alanna didn’t say anything he looked at her face and saw she was asleep. He put his head back onto the rug and closed his eyes.
The next thing that he was aware of was a splitting headache, the desire to be sick, being cold and someone was shaking him making the head even worse.
“What?” he mumbled groggily.
“I can’t get up, you’re on my legs and we are due in the council meeting in fifteen minutes,” Alanna replied, her voice equally groggy. Jon moved over slightly so she could get up. Neither of them moved.
“Ok, ok. If you get clothes out I’ll make a draught. That should take ten minutes fully with leaving it on the fire. You should be able to get us clean cloths out in between us being sick. We won’t be able to wash much though. I think I’m going to be sick,” she said quietly before getting up and running to the privy.
“Don’t get up so fast,” he mumbled before getting up and joining her being sick in the privy.
Jon walked through the door first into the council room with Alanna behind him. Jon squinted at the bright light in the room from the window. Alanna did the same when she came in.
“Sorry, we’re late,” Jon, told the room. Alanna and Jon both bowed to the King. King Roald glared at his son and his squire. It was clear to every one in the room that both of them had very bad hangovers.
Over an hour later
Alanna kicked Jonathan in the shin. He woke up with a start. He sat up properly in his chair; he had slipped down in it as he slept. He wiped his mouth and looked around him nervously hoping that no one else had noticed. He was wrong. Everyone in the room was looking at him. Most were trying to hide their smiles.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” he asked politely. Alanna made a sound that sounded like a contained laugh. Jon glared at her but she had turned her head.
At the end of the meeting
“Jonathan wait behind,” King Roald told him after he had adjourned the meeting.
“Yes, father,” Jon said then bowed. He turned to Alanna and made a face. Alanna made up to leave with everybody else.
“Alan, you may stay,” the King told her. She bowed to him and sat back down.
Roald waited until everybody else had left. “Jonathan you and your squire both turned up at a council meeting drunk,” he said irritated. Alanna blushed and looked down.
“We weren’t drunk,” he told his father calmly. Roald raised his eyebrows. “We didn’t turn up drunk. We might have been earlier on but we aren’t drunk,” Jonathan carried on.
Later that day
“I here you two have very big hangovers?” Gary asked grinning wickedly.
“Stop speaking so loudly,” Alanna told him sitting down on the stand overlooking the practise courts. She put her head in one hand. Jon came and lay down on the bench next to her.
“You not been taking the hang over cure today?” Raoul asked.
“No, we have. We’ve been taking it all morning. We drunk between us seven bottles of Courtla,” Jon stated. Raoul and Gary winced in sympathy. Courtla was a cross between vodka and cider. But was stronger than wine but not quite as strong as a spirit.
“Just think you’ve still got afternoon lessons left,” Gary said smiling.
“Do I don’t I have to accompany my lord prince down to the city on an errand,” she said mock seriously.
“We’ve decided to go and hide down at the Dove. Want to come with us?” Jon asked.
*************
It was dark outside the walls of the room. Jon was reminding Alanna about the bet and the conditions.
“If I’m supposed to go to the ball I can’t go as Alanna of Trebond and I’m going to have to go as someone related to Squire Alan,” she pointed out.
“We could say you’re Alan’s cousin. What about Lanna of Trebond?” he asked.
“It can’t be Trebond because I get the eyes from my mother’s side,” she said.
“What fief was your mother from?” he asked thinking.
“Heldon,” she told him.
“None of them come to court do they?” he asked.
“No, there’s only my great uncle and he doesn’t come because he isn’t well enough to travel and my aunt who married a Gallan so she lives there. We could say I was her daughter and my aunt sent me to her uncle for a while, while they travelled around, which has been a few years which is how I’ve lost the accent and I’m here to see Alan but he’s on an errand for you and is getting to miss the party,” she said.
“Let’s go along with that Lanna of? We can’t use Heldon because you’re supposed to be your aunt’s daughter,” he pointed out.
“Her name’s Juvat now. So it is now Lanna of Juvat. There aren’t any Gallans at court are there?” she asked.
“No, I don’t think so,” he replied thoughtfully.
“Good, Good. Now you are going to help me with my dancing if you want me to actually pull this off,” she said standing up and grabbing Jon’s hand.
“There isn’t any music,” he said.
“So. Who needs music? I just have to be able not to step on anyone’s feet. I'm supposed to be able to dance perfectly. So dance!” she ordered him.
“Ouch!”
“Sorry,” she said apologetically.
After about an hour the two of sat down.
“You’re getting better. You didn’t step on my foot once in the last one. We should go to bed now we don’t want to be late again otherwise we will get in more trouble,” Jon said helping her up.
“What trouble did you get in? I got into trouble from Duke Gareth about missing afternoon lessons and I told him I was on an errand with you and he didn’t believe me. He knew I was with you though but he knew the real reason I wasn’t there so I got told if it happens again then I’ll get punishment duties in the way of extra class work,” she said slightly angry. Jon laughed.
“Poor, poor Lanna. Want me to tell Uncle that you really were running an errand for me?” he asked with mock sympathy. She hit him on the arm and went to bed.
The day of the ball
“The ball starts at nine so do you want to come at ten thirty?” Jon asked her. She nodded. “You only have to stay an hour.”
Alanna snuck into the ball that night though one of the side doors at 10:30. She was wearing a pale lavender dress trimmed in silver with amethysts on the hems. Jonathan had bought it for her. She was also wearing her black wig that she had spelled so it would stay in place and not fall off. After she had spelled it she had put half of her hair up in a bun with the rest hanging down and had covered the bun with a silver coloured net that had amethysts and crystals sowed into it.
She scanned the room and found Jon, Gary and Raoul in a group near one of the balconies on the other side of the room. Which meant that she was going to have to walk across the room. She took the easy option and went around the edge.
Jon spotted her when she was half way there. He excused himself from the young court ladies and knights and met her.
Gary looked over to where Jon had gone with no explanation and saw a young woman who he had never met before.
“Raoul. Who’s that that Jon’s talking to?” he asked. Raoul turned round and saw whom Jon was talking to.
“I’ve never seen her before. Whoever she is she’s pretty. No wonder he went over to her,” Raoul remarked to him. They were both looking at Jon and Alanna. By now everybody else in their group was to.
Meanwhile
“There you are. You look beautiful,” Jon told her smiling.
“Thank you,” she said curtsying.
“Come on I’ll take you over,” he told her.
“They’re all staring at us,” she said with a glance at the group. Jon turned round and looked at the group and saw that they were. He offered her his arm and she took it.
“So where did you say I was?” she asked him.
“I said that your relative in the city had requested that you go and see them and I, being the nice man that I am let you go,” he said smiling at her. She laughed.
The reached the group and Jonathan introduced her to everyone.
“This is Lady Lanna of Juvat. Alan’s cousin,” Jon said. The knights all bowed and the other ladies glared at her.
“This is Gareth of Naxen, the younger or Gary, Raoul of Golden Lake, Alexander of Tirragen or Alex,” Jon said, there were in total about 20 people there not including Jon and her which he reintroduced her to since she already knew them all.
Jonathan asked her for the first dance before everybody else could.
“This is quite fun,” she told him as they danced.
“Remember you have a whole hour left to get young men to dance with you,” he said smugly to her.
“Oh, yes. That is going to be quite fun. Are you going to get jealous?” she asked him smiling.
“Why would I get jealous?” he asked coolly.
“Just think, me and all those handsome young men and me dancing with them. Remember they think I’m single and I’m not allowed to tell Gary or Raoul that it’s me am I?” She said wickedly.
“There’s something familier about her,” Gary said puzzled to Raoul. Meaning Lanna.
“Apart from the fact that she looks like a version of Alan except with black hair,” Raoul pointed out.
“That isn’t her real hair colour,” Gary whispered to Raoul. “She has fair eyebrows not dark ones.” They looked at each other.
“You don’t think?” they both said looking at Alanna dance with Jon.
“They might. Remember they’ve been secretive since they got drunk,” Raoul told him.
“We could string them along aswell,” Gary said. So that’s what they did.
***********************
“Lady Lanna, may I have the next dance,” Gary said bowing over Alanna’s hand.
“I would be delighted to Sir Gareth,” she said smiling politely at him.
Jon came and sat down beside Raoul. Raoul smiled at him with raised brows. “She’s a pretty thing,” Raoul remarked. Jon got the message underneath what Raoul said.
“I wouldn’t cheat on her. I swear I wouldn’t or won’t,” he told him.
“She’s my friend as well. I don’t want to see her upset because of something you did. Everything would be horrible,” Raoul told him.
“Me too,” Jon said quietly. Jon got up and asked one of the other ladies to dance. He led the other woman onto the dance floor.
What either of them didn’t realise was that Delia of Eldorne had over heard what was being said. She stored that information to remember to tell Roger later that Jonathan was serious about someone that Raoul also knew. Delia wasn’t the only lady to overhear.
“You are a very good dancer Sir Gareth,” Alanna remarked.
“Just Gary please, Lady Lanna and thank you,” he said smiling after catching Jon looking at them.
“Then Gary you must call me A- just Lanna please Gary,” she said smiling hoping that he didn’t notice her slip up. Gary pretended that he didn’t notice but her slip up confirmed his suspicions that Lady Lanna was really Squire Alan.
“It has been a pleasure dancing with you Gary. I would very much like to again,” she said curtsying to him after the dance ended. Gary bowed and walked her back to the group. He nodded to Raoul and smiled when Raoul mouthed is it?
She was asked up to dance by several others in their group of friends. She was asked to dance after about forty-five minutes with Raoul. All the men present in their group had flirted with her. She was quite proud of her self. She had caught Jon with jealous looks on his face at the men she flirted with and when he caught her catching him she smiled smugly at him. He narrowed his eyes at her. She laughed. She was speaking to Gary at the time he frowned in confusion at her outburst.
“I’m sorry,” she said apologetically before leaning closer to him. “The Prince is making faces at you.” Gary turned round to look at Jonathan and he quickly turned away to speak to somebody.
The men were all preoccupied with Alanna, which made her; receive plenty of glares from the other young court ladies.
“Who does she think she is? She just swarms in here and they all run to her. Don’t they realise there are other woman here,” one woman fumed.
“The Prince seems taken with her. Don’t you see the looks they’re giving each other? He’s glaring at all the others who speak to her,” another said trying to get a look at Alanna over a lady’s shoulder.
“Oh, he doesn’t. I don’t think he does any way. I overheard Raoul and him speaking and it seems that his affections are with another woman. Raoul said, “She was a pretty thing.”
And then the prince said, “I wouldn’t cheat on her. I swear I wouldn’t or won’t.”
Then Raoul said, “She’s my friend as well. I don’t want to see her upset because of something you did. Everything would be horrible.”
So I think he has a woman. I don’t think it’s any of us though. It isn’t is it?” one of the ladies who overheard said.
One of the ladies looked around her trying to see if Delia was in the area. She wasn’t, so said, “He went off Delia soon enough didn’t he. All of a sudden he went off her and she is still fuming over it. No one knew why did they? Raoul knows so Gary probably does as well we could try and get it out of them both now couldn’t we?” The women all laughed.
“We’ll have to get a lot of drink down them,” one said slyly. She called a server over and asked for two drinks for her. She got up and went over to Gary as she saw Alanna being led of by Raoul. Another woman got drinks for the Prince and her and went over to him.
“Are you enjoying the ball, Lady Lanna?” Raoul asked her while he danced a waltz with her.
“Very much so, Sir Raoul. Are you?” she asked wondering if he will lie or tell the truth.
“Not really. I hate the things. But you have made it considerably more desirable. Please call me Raoul,” he said while she laughed.
“Thank you and you must call me Lanna,” she told him.
“You look a lot like Alan. I can see her in you. You are like her in more than just looks. I have to remind myself that you’re not her, but it isn’t that hard you are wearing a dress for one,” he pointed out.
“I am? I hadn’t noticed that,” she said. He laughed.
Alanna continued dancing for 3 more dances before Jon got her up to dance.
“You survived then?” he asked.
“Just,” she said laughing.
“Come on admit it you’ve had fun. Admit it,” he said when she looked down. He looked down at her.
“Yeah, alright I’ve had fun. I did what you said to do so I’m going to go and sit down after this. No more dances,” she said resolutely.
“Even me?”
“Well maybe an exception,” she smiled. “I’m going in half an hour. I’ll try and find out what the ladies think of the three of you and me. The me one might not work since I am supposed to be Alan’s cousin.”
“Who cares about the other two just find out what they think of me.”
“I already know what they’ll say. He’s egotistical, smug, arrogant and is in love with himself far to much,” she said playfully.
“Hey,” he objected. She smiled.
“But he’s gorgeous, you can’t forget that. He can be sweet, caring, very gentlemanly, and let’s not forget,” she said leaning closer to him so she can whisper in his ear. “Good in bed.”
“Glad you didn’t forget that one,” he said grinning.
“And I just proved my point, very egotistical,” she said as the dance ended. She curtsied and left the dance floor with him coming up beside her. She was smiling.
“You are you whatever you look like with that spirit that I fell for,” he said into her ear.
“That’s good to know I think. Even when I’m dressed as a boy?” she said raising her eyebrows at him. He knew that that was a trick question when she did that. Think carefully Jon he told himself.