Composed by Giovanna
Disclaimer2: The lyrics belong to Celine Dion. Two goddesses of art come together here - Tammy and Celine. Unbeatable combination...
A/N: I was listening to ‘Let’s Talk About Love’ and I picked out some songs - here’s
one of them. Read and review (notice my *n*e*w* email addy?) but be n ice,
as writing songfics comes hard to me. Gimme a normal fanfic and I’m happy...
Summary: This story takes place in WRM - but I’ve added a few events. Still basically
the same thing: Alanna and Jon have a *major* fight and Jon starts to
court THAYET (who arrived in Tortall easily, with Buri, don’t ask me how please) ...but George and Alanna still haven’t...gotten their act together, if you know what I mean. *snigger snigger*
Don’t you know that you’re my reason
For my love, my life, my being?
So secure and so damn sure my
Heart would surely die without you.
Alanna fidgeted nervously. She couldn’t wait - her nerves were starting to fray...
Usually, Alanna the Lioness would work out her frustration, but today wasn’t ‘usually’. No one, except George and some select people, knew she was in Corus, and that’s the way Alanna wanted to keep it. Well...she was hoping that someone else would soon know she was there...
<Where is he?> she thought irritably. <I’ve taken a very big risk coming here...thank the gods I have experience looking like a boy, and a Bazhir boy at that.>
She was dressed in the traditional burnoose of a Bazhir male warrior. Her skin was a dark tawny color - months in the desert had seen to that - and her hair had been bleached. It was now a reddish-honey color, thanks to the sun.
<I hope he’s the only one who recognizes me - well, he should, I looked like this when we last saw each other...> Her jaw was clenched with remembered anger - but she loosened it slowly. She had decided to do the most difficult thing ever...
She was going to apologize...
I tried to swallow my pride
But I felt my heart start to tremble inside
Wish I didn’t know ‘cause I can’t let you go
Tell me...
A sudden laughter made her turn her head - but she kept herself in the shadows when a very familiar person came walking by, holding the arm of a beautiful brunette.
“Oh, that affair? It was nothing,” the man was saying.
“Really?” purred the woman.
“Ye-es...”
<Jon? And...who’s this? Oh, gods, no!> she screamed mentally; they were kissing hungrily. Her reaction was almost impossible to control; her fists clenched and she was gasping for air.
She had come to forgive and forget...
<Why, Jonathan? Why?>
Why?
Why when I looked in your eyes
I felt the trust start to die?
Why oh why?
When I still love you
It’s so hard to say goodbye.
After their kissing was over, they left the garden, laughing merrily, leaving Alanna braced against the wall. When she was sure that she was alone, she slumped down to the floor, tears blurring her vision.
<How can he do this to me? We haven’t even been apart for two months! How? The jerk...and all this time, I thought he loved me...I shared his bed...he came to my bed, for the love of the gods! And he knew how dangerous that could be!>
How can you tell me it was nothing?
‘Cause you took away everything I dreamed in.
Just a night and I held you tight
When you know you were sleeping in my bed
“Jon...no...why?” she moaned, rocking backwards and forwards. But she knew...
I tried to swallow my pride
But I felt my heart start to tremble inside
Wish I didn’t know ‘cause I can’t let you go.
Tell me...
Completely oblivious to everything and everyone around her, Alanna made her way out of the palace grounds and went to the Lower City, knowing that there was a good chance she could get drunk in the Dancing Dove. So she went to the inn where she had first drank with George. Luckily, it wasn’t very full. She took a huge tankard of ale to a table in the corner and sat down, alone and dejected.
And then the least expected person came in...spotted her...and cautiously joined her.
“Alanna?” asked Jon, his brilliant sapphire eyes worried.
She looked over the rim of her cup and almost spat all of her ale out. Carefully, not wanting him to see that her hands were shaking, she put the tankard down on the table, and stared up at him.
“I - I saw you leave the garden - the garden where Thayet and I -”
Alanna took one long look into his eyes, then buried herself into her ale again. <Bastard. Took one look at Miss Beautiful and falls head over heels...>
“Alanna, please, don’t look like that...say something, damn you!”
Hearing the desperation in his voice, she lowered her tankard again, and stared at Jonathan, head tilted slightly to one side. “What do you want me to say, Jon? I came to apologize - I had thought that you were thinking on the same lines. Nope,” she said curtly. “I was wrong. I look at you...and I see that...”
Why?
Why when I looked in your eyes
I felt my heart start to cry?
My oh my
When I saw you with the other girl.
Why oh why?
Why when I looked in your eyes
‘Cause I felt the trust start to die
Why oh why?
When I still love you
It’s so hard to say goodbye.
She searched his eyes briefly; it was all there, written out clearly. “I see that you love her.” She took another swig of her ale.
Jon cleared his throat and sat down. “Alanna...I...offered you...”
“Marriage, yes, I know. You also assumed that I would say yes. Just because we love each other doesn’t mean we have to marry.”
“I was...mad at you...then Thayet came...I never thought of you after...”
That hurt. Alanna didn’t even bother to clear the tears that streamed out her eyes. <Badge of my wretchedness.>
“I mean, I did, but I could say sorry...and Thayet was a new member of the Court, under my mother’s protection...she wanted us together...and Thayet’s...”
“You love her. In less than one month, you fall in love with a black-haired, exiled princess. Is that love?”
Jon was looking very uncomfortable. “Can’t - can’t we go on - as friends, I mean? I don’t love you like that - I love Thayet. Can’t we just be...friends?”
Should I quietly leave through the door?
Or maybe pretend the way things were once before when I met you?
I’ll never forget you, so...
Why?
Why when I looked in your eyes
I felt the trust start to die?
Why oh why?
When I still love you
It’s so hard to say goodbye.
Alanna closed her eyes, hid her face in her hands, and started to sob. Shudders shook her body.
<That’s not love!> But she knew she was beaten. “Just...friends...”
[Why why? Why why? Why did you love...me?]
A/N: Bad, I know! It sux! No plot, so pathetic...ugh...urgh...bleh...but it’s such a sweet
song... Sorry for wasting your time.
~ Giovanna xoxo
bigego_13@hotmail.com