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*MoRe* ToP TeN oF TaMoRa PiErCe!! | |||||||||
Send me your contributions at wildofre@yahoo.com |
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Top Ten Impossible Things....Tortall version! 10. Roger declaring that he will love Alanna until the end of time. 9. Alanna declaring that she will love Roger until the end of time. 8. Kel falling madly in love with Joren. 7. Peachblossom *not* biting Neal. 6. Daine and Ozorne run off together. 5. Ozorne changes his name to Sweetness and runs off with Roger, newly Christened Light. (ie Sweetness and Light...get it?) 4. Jon and Numair discover that they are long-lost brothers. 3. Thayet is crowned Ditz-Queen of the World. 2. Daine discovers that her true father is not, in fact, Weiryn, but Ozorne. And the number one impossible thing for Tortall is......::drumroll please:: 1. Alanna dyes her hair blue. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Top Ten Impossible Things....Emelan version! 10. Lark becomes an insane, raving maniac. 9. Briar decides he hates plants and destroys Rosethorn's garden. 8. Rosethorn does *not* kill him. 7. Daja burns herself. 6. Shriek becomes a nice, quiet, gentle old bird. 5. Briar steals Sandry's drop spindle. 4. Niko falls off a bridge. (A/N: I can't see this happening to him....I'm sorry, I just can't.) 3. Niko turns out to be Tris' grandfather. 2. Sandry *doesn't* inherit Summersea when her uncle dies. And the number one impossible thing for Emelan is.... ::drumroll please:: 1. Rosethorn and Crane admit they're in love. (Note the usage of "admit" rather then "fall"....heehee. ;-)) %%%%%%%%%%%%%% Top Ten Impossible Things Clichés for Tortall 10. Daine hunts for the fun of it. 9. Peachblossom becomes nice and docile. 8. Alanna goes to the convent. 7. Kel goes to the convent. 6. Alanna falls in love with Roger. 5. Roger gives up magic so he can marry Alanna. 4. Jon marries Alanna. 3. Liam doesn’t die and marries Buri. 2. George becomes honest. And the top impossible thing cliché for Tortall is….(drumroll please…..) 1.Alanna reacts calmly to outrageous things. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Top Ten Impossible Things Clichés for Emelan 10. Rosethorn becomes like Lark. 9. Lark becomes like Rosethorn. 8. Tris decides storms are scary. 7. Briar/ Rosethorn decides plants are boring. 6. Niko is no longer vain and becomes humble. 5. Daja becomes afraid of metal. 4. Sandry becomes a typical noble. 3. Lark decides that weaving is stupid. 2. Frostpine gives up all his magic. And the top impossible thing cliché for Emelan is…(drumroll please) 1.Rosethorn and Crane fall in love. ~ Rosethorn ~ %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Top Ten Totally Non-Tammy Chapter Titles (okay, way to many t's there) 10.Ummm.. The Ummm.. Well You Know 9.Chapter 9 8.In Which I Laugh At You For the Whole Chapter 7.The Attack of the Ditzy Princesses! 6.I Got Bored 5.Heartbreaker 4.High On Pepsi (hmmm, wonder were I got the inspiration) 3.Stuff 2.Pretty Flowers Dancing Round and Round My Head And the number one Top Ten (well you know) is...(drum roll, if you please) 1.The Pink and Purple Poka-Dotted Panda-Cows!! (an unusual burst of creativity if I do say so myself) ^_^ ~*~*~*~ Top Ten What-You-Dos When Meeting These People 10. God(dess)-Don't depend on them for strait-forward answers, you won't get them. 9. King-Can be nice but don't offend them in public, they get testy. 8.Dragon-Stay the heck out of their way. 7.Mage-Don't mention magical theory, unless you want a headache. 6.Wildmage-Never insult them at a zoo, unless you want your head bitten off of course.. 5. Knight-Don't ask him to sing for you, you won't like their songs.. 4.Emperor-In trouble with him? One word: run! 3.Stormwing-Wear nose plugs, you don't want to know why. 2.Mad Shang-Duck. And the number one Top Ten is..(drum role!) 1.Angry Lady Knight-Haul butt quick! ~*~*~*~ Top Ten Ways to Know You Read too Much Tammy 10.You think that there is no such thing as too much Tammy. 9.You call your principal Lord Wyldon. 8.You change your name to Alan and try to convince everyone that you are a boy, even your family. 7.You practice Shang moves of your sister or brother. (This is my favorite one) 6. You always wear a black robe, protesting that you are "the greatest mage in Tortall". 5. You send an angry letter to the president, protesting that he should give women the right to be knights. 4.You strike up conversations with any animal you pass, and then listen for their answers. 3.You find a flimsy plastic sword and run after your brother\sister yelling for them to "submit to your sword." 2. You believe that you can shape-shift, and jump off the roofs of buildings, flapping your arms wildly, positive that you are about to grow feathers any minute now. And the number one Top Ten is..(drum roll please!) 1.You make lists like these! (hehe) ~*~*~*~ Top Ten Things That Wouldn't Happen In Tortall 10.Alanna and Kel switching personalities. 9.Roger joins a support group. 8.Thayet becomes a total ditz. 7.Wyldon wearing a toupee. (I'm sorry but I just can't see this) 6.Alanna and Roger confess undying love. 5. Numair becoming a crazed lunatic and continuously shouting: "The end is coming!" 4. Alanna putting her fingers in her ears chanting, "Na-uh, na-uh, na-uh! I can't hear you! La-la-la!" 3.Buri joins a beauty pageant. 2.Alanna, Daine and Thayet all have a pillow fight. And the number one Top Ten is..(drum roll!) 1.Wyldon dances into a class wearing a bright-pink tutu and tights! ^_^ ~ JJJLCC ~ Be sure to visit her site at http://www.oocities.org/jjjlcc/TP_fan_page.html *NEW* The Top Ten Things That Wouldn’t Happen In Emelan 10.Pasco will trip when dancing. (Again, I’m sorry, but I can’t see this happening) 9.Evy becomes a modern-day rapper and continuously spits everywhere. (I know, this one is odd...) 8.Sandry will flaunt herself to be allowed into a building. 7.Niko and Moonstream will have a mud war. 6. Lark declares that weaving is stupid and takes up dare deviling. 5.Tris goes after her dream to become...a clown? 4. Daja becomes an insane maniac and destroys Rosethorn & Briar’s garden. 3.Afterwards, they do NOT kill her. 2.When they are chasing after Aymery (Sorry if I spelled his name wrong) in the second book Tris and Briar will suddenly start to hum the 007 theme song and roll all over the ground. (I have no idea why I came up with this one...) And the number one Top Ten is...(insert drum roll here) 1.Rosethorn will declare love for Crane until the end of time! ~*~*~*~ The Top Ten Reasons Not To Read Tammy 10. By accident, Tammy wrote Weiryn (I’m sorry if I spelled his name wrong!) instead of Legolas when mentioning the god of the hunt. 9.Tammy not-so-luckily forgot to add Legolas in her books. 8.The publishers cut out the mention of Legolas in Tammy’s books. 7.Alanna missed meeting Legolas in her many adventures. 6.Legolas was too busy to stop by for a visit during Daine’s time. (If you don’t get it by now, I’m worried for you!!) 5.Kel was too busy in the Yamani Islands (or Isles, can’t remember...) to see that Legolas had dropped by for a visit. 4.People haven’t heard of Legolas in Tortall. 3.Briar didn’t realize that he was caught stealing Legolas. (Did he really think he could thieve an Elf and get away with it...?) 2.In all his ramblings, Neal never mentioned Legolas. And the number one top ten is...(Drum roll here) 1.Legolas isn’t in her books. ~*~*~*~ ~ JJJLCC ~ Top Ten Reasons You KNOW You are reading Too much TP 10) You go to the hair dresser's and get a page boy style hair cut but you insist to your stylist that girls can be pages too, so it should be called Page-Girl style. 9) You know what a glaive looks like. 8) You own a glaive. 7) You take up fencing. 6)The only thing in your wardrobe is different styles of the page uniform. 5) You will only have a crush on boys named Neal or Cleon. 4) You dye your hair red and get purple contacts. 3) You are 5' 9" 2) You call your principal Lord Wyldon and your gym teacher Eda Bell. (is that her name???) And the top ten thing is........... You are the author of countless lists like these. *streamers and confetti* * grins at Wildofre* ~ Adrienna ~ |
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TORTALLAN HUMOUR |