We arrived (reluctantly) back in Athens at 5AM. We didn't want to be here, and I dare say neither did 99% of the Athenians. We plodded off in the early morning light for the metro station. Having walked half a mile in the wrong direction, we turned around and walked a further mile in the right direction. We left the underground at the flea market stop, where we had been recommended a hotel by the TJs. On our way down the scummy, pollution riddled street, we were stopped by a lady who thought we were Ant & Dec (English early morning TV stars), and directed us to her hotel (the only one left standing in the area). We checked in, and waited for a room for a further 30 minutes, until our hostess realised that there was another room upstairs. We dumped our stuff, and Ted headed off to the British embassy. I on the other hand, hadn't washed or slept in at least 36 hours, so after a shower, I went straight to bed, only to be woken up at noon on Ted's return. Even then, we dosed and read for a further hour or so, until our stomach's rumbled, and it was time to gorge with our old friend: Big Uncle Mickey's grease-stained beef battering bar.
So, less than 24 hours until we would be in the airport, ready to leave continental Europe, after a couple of months away from the U.S. of K. We spent the rest of the day shopping in the flea market, where I added to my growing collection of fake football shirts, and we checked our email (Ted spending a total of 20 Euros on internet usage that day). We also found a quite agreeable section of Athens that looked as though it could have been a chic section of stylish towns such as Scarborough or Trowbridge. As a loan, I gave Ted 150 Euros to last him the next day and a half (which, incidentally we spent - on ice cream, jelly and giant donuts). That evening, Ted was struck down by a vicious attack of Madrid Burning Bum (or MaBuBu to give it an exotic name), and I set out to find a chemist's. I located one with minimum trouble and purchased a pack of 6 Imodium (which in England would cost about 8 Euros), expecting a similar price. Instead, I paid 85 Eurocents for it and almost died of shock. I went back to the hotel, resisting the urge to smuggle 1000 packets of the stuff back to England (keeping my family diarrhea-free for at least a fortnight), and gave Ted his pills, washed down with a ridiculously large McDaddy D's meal. A further email session, and shopping for souvenirs, and we returned to the hotel to sleep after a hard day's boredom.
Waking up at the early hour of 8, we left for the embassy to get Ted's emergency passport (which he had been promised the previous day). Only after a 1 and a half hour wait were we allowed to leave, and Ted was legally allowed to return to the motherland. We frolicked in the park (watching silly ducks - who had the ability run in the style and manner of my friend Sir Benjamin Bigbottom). Our flight was in the evening, but we didn't want to spend much more time in Athens. We checked the email one more time, and checked out of the hotel.
We took the metro to the main square (during lunch-time rush hour) and searched for the airport bus. We got there, and worried about whether we'd miss the opening game of the world cup, due to the size of the crowds heading for the airport. This was when we were approached by our guardian angel.
"Hallo" he said in a Teuto-Californian slur "You guys gowin to tha airoport?"
"Ummmm. Yes..." we replied in unison
"Gut! We can share a taxi yes? It would be quicker, ja?"
"Well...." we said, our hesitance due to the possibility that he could have been a taxi driver fishing for customers
"I will pay 10 Euros of the fair"
"Lesssgo!" we screamed in unison again (we'd spent too much time together). We hailed down a taxi, and once again, we saw Donald Sutherland step out from the cab, grab our bags and throw them in the back - all in one movement. We sped off down the main road, out of central Athens. Our guardian angel turned to us and said
"Hallo. My name is Günter! I have been living in California in 20 years ago, when studied there I have, und today I vill return nach Dusseldorf for work, ja? Only I think I will be a little late for my flugzug!" We began to chat, and discovered that he had an eerie knack for soothsaying
"How do you think Germany will do in the World Cup?" I asked
"We will ease through to the final, where we will lose 2-0 to Brazil, with both goals scored by Ronaldo in the second half"
"Yeah, right." muttered Ted under his breath. After about 10 minutes of hassling, he admitted that England was a better team, and that Germans should worship Britains as their masters. This was then that Mr Sutherland behind the wheel went a bid mad. Obviously thrown out of stock car racing for being too psychotic, he ploughed through reds at traffic lights, reversed up motorways, and crept up the side of traffic queues, reaching speeds of what must have been 120 mph. When we finally arrived at the airport, Ted and I found ourselves in each other's arms shivering with fear, with our guardian angel with his hair on end in the front. He paid the majority of the fare, and then simply vanished without trace.
"Trippy!" exclaimed Donald Sutherland, before speeding off back towards the city.
We arrived back just in time to watch Senegal vs France in one of the Airport's restaurants, sitting on our bags and becoming nervous at the flight home (at least I was). Senegal won a good match 1-0, much to the apathy of the AirFrance flight back to Paris. We checked our stuff in, ate Mc D-J Pump this party, and prepared for the 3 and a half hour flight back to London Luton. I bought a big bottle of vodka in duty free, and had my bags searched for drugs (with me sweating when the security lady almost discovered my collection of hard-core porn playing cards). Nevertheless, I was allowed to pass, and we boarded the EasyJet flight back home.
Ben: "Hmmmmm feels kind of warm! Hey I found my watch up here!