Matthew Demaris
A Mascenic High School Sophmore

" Matthew E. Demaris, 16, of Millstreet
who died Oct. 19th in Greenville."
Is that how they know you?
That delinquant kid who shot
Himself behind Brian's house?

They didn't know you.
They didn't really know
Puffy haired Matt
With his philosopher eyes
And his goofy smile.

I remeber how we used to talk.
Religion, politics,
Who got drunk in Greenville last night.
You thought that it was all right to get high
As long as it didn't hurt anyone you cared about.
And who really cares about the rest of the world, right?
You thought that religion was for those of us who need
Something to believe in.
You never needed something to beleive in.

They included a picture of you.
The one where your holding your dog.
There I am, sitting there, reading about how you brutally murdered
yourself
And staring at a picture of you holding your dog.

Yet, I can't picture you lieing in the blood soaked grass
with a gun in your hand, either.
I just can't see you that way.

Your not the type of kid that kills themself.
You know, the pale faced kid who never leaves his house
Or the Football star on drugs.
Your normal.
You had alot of friends, a descent job.
You would've made a great Chef.
Now your gone.

Did you do it to make a statement?
Why? There are many easier ways of doing that, you know.
I know that life wasn't easy for you.
But did you have to end it?
Did you have to go away?

I was going to visit you on Christmas break.
We were supposed to talk.
We never did get to see each other after I left for Calafornia.

Jessica wrote to me.
Told me that the night after you died
A bunch of our friends got drunk on that spot behind Brian's house.

And now, they've gotten over your death.
I'll never get over it.