Miaka's hands pressed to her mouth; a soft, choked noise rose from her throat. Beside her, Taka was wide-eyed and stricken, arms hanging limply at his sides, back pressed to the wall as if he doubted his ability to stand.

They spoke in hushed voices, wary of Ryuuen, who was sleeping in the next room.

"His...his heart?" Miaka managed. Her voice was high and muffled, the hand still clamped to her mouth.

Saihitei closed his eyes. "Ironic, isn't it?" he murmured. "I'd always thought that Ryuuen's heart was the strongest muscle in his body."

Miaka closed her eyes, leaned her back against the wall and pressed both palms over her face. "It's not fair," she whispered. "Not him. Not again."

Taka, meanwhile, had folded both arms over his chest, was regarding the other man with a narrow, worried gaze. "Is he going to be all right? I mean...is he going to need surgery?"

Before Saihitei could answer, however, Miaka had drawn the hands from her eyes, cleared her throat. "Let's go sit down in the living room," she said softly. Her eyes flickered to the smooth oak of Ryuuen's bedroom door, just off Taka's left shoulder, and Saihitei was suddenly aware of the sheen of moisture swimming in her eyes, of the way her bottom lip wavered, just slightly, as she spoke. "I-I don't want to disturb him. He needs his rest...right?"

Taka gave a slow nod. "Miaka's right. Let's go in the living room."

A few moments later, they'd filtered single file into the small but plush living room, were making their way to the snowy upholstery of the couch. Before they reached it, though, Miaka darted to the picture window, pulled down hard on the string, and sent the curtains rushing to the sides--the room was flooded with late afternoon sunshine, casting an inviting golden hue over the matching white of the furniture, the carpeting, the walls. Despite the cheerful sunlight, however, the trio lowered themselves onto the couch with an air of gravity and sorrow hovering above them; it was a long time before any of them spoke.

Finally, it was Miaka herself who broke the silence.

"Sai," she said slowly. "I just want you to know that, no matter what happens, Taka and I'll be here for you guys. I mean, like, if you have to stop chipping in for the rent for awhile to pay for medical bills or surgery or something, don't worry about it, because we'll take care of it. Right, Taka?"

Despite appearing less than happy at the thought of the extra expense, Taka nonetheless gave a surprisingly-sincere nod. "Right," he said. "We'll do whatever we can. E-Even--" His voice wavered. "--pay for surgery or something, if Ryuuen needs it and you can't afford it."

Saihitei smiled, a warm, safe feeling coursing over him, drawing the last of the panicky fear from his body. "Miaka...Taka..." The smile softened. "Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much it means to me, that you would be willing to give up so much for us, but...but, don't worry. Ryuuen might not even need surgery, and if he does, I have more than enough to pay for it. But, truly. Thank you."

Miaka was leaning forward in her seat, arms wrapped tightly over her chest. "So, he...he might not need surgery?"

Sai shook his head. "No, he might not. As a matter of fact, the doctor isn't even entirely certain that there is some sort of problem with his heart, but it can't be ruled out until they test for it. That's why he's going to see a cardiologist on Tuesday, so they can take some x-rays and figure out just what the trouble is."

"Tuesday?" Miaka squeaked. "B-B-But, if something is wrong...what if something happens before then?"

Taka winced. "Miaka, shh. I'm sure nothing will happen between now and then. It's only a few days, after all. But, um..." His eyes turned to Sai, who'd opted to lower himself into the armchair next to the couch rather than the couch itself. "But, if something does happen, what should we do?"

The eighteen-year-old's voice was tight. "Get him to the hospital as quickly as possible. Even if it seems like nothing. Even if we're ninety-nine percent sure that it's not a heart attack."

A high, anguished sound worked its way from Miaka's throat. "H...Heart attack. God. Ryuu-chan..."

Immediately, Taka's arm lifted from his side, wrapped itself with gentle strength around his girlfriend's shoulders. She leaned into him, her cheek pressing against his shoulder, and squeezed her eyes shut. "It's okay," Taka said softly. "It's gonna be okay. Ryuuen's strong, Miaka. He'll get through this."

Her voice was dry and ashen, as if all the strength had bled from it. "He was strong then, too," she whispered.

Several restless hours later, Taka finally accepted his twenty dollar bribe and took Miaka out to dinner. Saihitei had appreciated their presence, of course, particularly since Ryuuen hadn't stirred since they'd gotten home around five, but he thought best when he was alone. And, besides, to keep their minds off their troubles, Miaka had insisted that they play a rousing but quiet game of charades, and...well, as much as he cared for the girl, she had despicable taste in games...not to mention the miming talent of a rock. And, as none of the charades had yet required that she imitate said rock, he and Taka had been having a difficult time guessing just what it was she was trying to communicate.

Even so, when the couple stepped out into the hallway and the door clicked shut behind them, he couldn't help thinking that the apartment felt a little emptier.

He was just tensing his muscles to turn and head to the kitchen when there was the jangle of a knob turning, followed by the swish of the bedroom door as it slid gently open. He turned, the breath caught in his lungs, and found Ryuuen standing framed in the doorway, long violet hair a tangled flood on his shoulders, eyes small and bleary with sleep.

Ryuuen's lips twisted upwards at the sight of him. "Hi," he said softly.

Despite the volume, there was strength in his voice; and, now that he looked, he could see that same strength reflected in the square set to the older man's shoulders, the firm way his jaw was clenched... Suddenly filled with an emotion he didn't entirely understand, Sai strode forward, lifted his arms, and pulled Ryuuen close. It was only then, with the warmth of this head on his chest and the touch of these hands against his back, that he could relax, only then that he could breathe again.

I don't want to lose him. Please. Please...

A muffled voice met his ears a few moments later: "S...Sai?"

With a gentle sigh, he released Ryuuen from the embrace, took a step backwards to give the other a bit more breathing room. Upon taking that step, however, he realized that those violet eyes were gazing up at him, a slight frown drawing at the lips beneath them.

Despite the oppressive summer heat that dragged at the air of the apartment, Ryuuen's thin frame was draped in a baggy grey sweatshirt and flannel pajama bottoms, his feet wrapped in the fuzzy green toe socks Miaka had given him for his birthday only a few months earlier. And, even though he knew extremely well that this man was a great deal stronger than he appeared, he couldn't help but think how...small Ryuuen looked, standing there dwarfed by his own clothes like a child playing dress up.

Oh, Ryuuen. I wish I could fix this for you. I wish I could make this better, somehow...

He forced a smile onto his lips. "How did you sleep?"

Thin shoulders shrugged. "All right. I'm going to have a hard time getting to sleep later tonight, though...but, maybe not. I'm still feeling kinda worn out."

"Can I get you anything? I could make you an egg, if you wanted, or get you a drink, or--"

"Sai."

"Hm?"

Ryuuen smiled, very slightly. "Don't try so hard, okay? I'm not dying, and you don't have to treat me like I am. But..." The smile lifted. "I am a little thirsty."

"What would you like?"

"Umm...surprise me?"

A smile of his own touching his lips, the taller man gave a slight nod. "All right. Be right back." He spun to leave, but--

"Sai?"

He paused, turned back and found that Ryuuen had taken several steps forward, now stood only an inch or so away from him, heart-shaped face lifted towards his own. He blinked. "Yes?"

And, suddenly, there were slender arms wrapped snugly around his neck, soft bangs tickling against his throat as the other's face was buried in his shirt; he could feel the gentle thud of Ryuuen's heartbeat, warm and solid against his own, and for a moment was struck by the idea that, somehow, the beats were moving in perfect rhythm...

And, then, Ryuuen drew breath to speak, and all other thoughts bled from his mind.

"Saihitei," he said, very softly. The moisture of his breath tickled against the skin of his neck, even as the words hammered like ice into his soul. "I think that...under the circumstances...we should talk about certain things. I..." He swallowed. "I know my family would want me to be buried in Pittsburgh, since that's where I was born, but...but, if something happens, I-I want to be buried here, in that cemetary down the street. I...I want to be close by..."

There was no air in his lungs, no blood in his veins; everything was chill and empty, his muscles limp and dead. It was a long time before he could speak, the warm beat of Ryuuen's heart still echoing in his ears, and when he did, the words came out as scarcely more than a whisper.

"You're not going to die. Don't...don't talk like that."

Ryuuen lifted his arms from around the younger man's neck, wrapped them instead around the broad chest and squeezed. "It's something we have to talk about," he whispered. "Because, whether we talk about it or not, it could happen."

He closed his eyes; his eyebrows bent upwards in anguish. "Fine," he managed. "Here, not Pittsburgh."

The arms around him tightened, very briefly, and then left him entirely. Ryuuen smiled up at him, a cool moisture shimmering in his eyes. "Thank you." The smaller man let out a heavy sigh, then, and closed his eyes; a slim hand touched to his forehead, massaged the bridge of his nose.

...and, concern lanced into him like a dagger. "Ryuuen? Are you all right??"

Violet eyes slid open, smiled up at him. "I'm fine. Just...still a little tired, I guess."

Sai's lips pursed. "Come with me," he said, slipping forwards and taking his boyfriend by the shoulders. "You should sleep."

Suddenly finding himself being pushed/led back into the bedroom, Ryuuen let out a feeble, "But, I just got up..."

Before he could protest much further, however, Sai had stretched down, slid his arms beneath the man's slim legs, and lifted Ryuuen from the ground. A moment later, he'd deposited the weary eighteen-year-old onto a mass of smooth white sheets, and--after straightening the blankets and tucking them snugly beneath the mattress--had circled to the other side of the bed, pulled back the covers, and crawled in.

Ryuuen rolled onto his back, turned his face towards the other man. "I'm not all that tired," he said with a slight smile. "And, I'm still thirsty."

Before he could say anything more, however, Sai had slid to his side and drawn him into his embrace, and he found himself rather abruptly surrounded by warm arms, his back pressed to a broad, muscled chest. "Then, I'll hold you until you fall asleep," he murmured.

"And, if I don't?"

A slight smile touched his lips. "Then, I'll hold you until I fall asleep."

Ryuuen gave a slow, sleepy nod, already settling into the embrace--his eyes slid lightly closed. "Sai?" he murmured drowsily.

"Hm?"

"I want...you to be buried next to me...okay?"

"...okay."

A few moments later, Ryuuen's breathing grew slow and even, and it was only then that he let the tears come, only then that he let them slip silently down his cheeks and stain the soft cotton of the pillows. Then, exhausted and spent, Saihitei closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep with the beat of a heart that was not his own thudding in his ears.

And, even though he squeezed Ryuuen's body a little too tightly during the course of his dreams, neither of them woke again until morning.