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THE BANKERS DRAFT

The scene of many a drunken night in our early days, surrounded by postmen and old men swigging theakstons best. Many amusing incidents took place inside the hallowed walls including GCSE results day, 'what the fuck is a sorry ronny?' and mike c being sick on the floor. Were refused drink here on nye '02 as the eagle-eyed barman spotted we were wearing school uniform so assumed we were 16. It was once rumoured that a woman was spotted in this pub, but this has been neither confirmed or denied.

Appearance 3/5 Clientele 1/5 Range of alcohol 4/5 Staff 2/5 Price 5/5 Overall 15/25

THE RISING SUN

Rozza say's 'possibly the best pub in the world'. One of eltham's premier drinking points, you can relax in its warm, charming interior whilst engaging in a game of millionaire or catching a live 'band'. Close to many means of transport, and the average cost of a pint being around £2.30, it won't burn a hole in your pocket.

Appearance 4/5 Clientele 4/5 Range of alcohol 4/5 Staff 4/5 Price 4/5 Overall 20/25

YE OLDE GREYHOUND

The choice of pub for many of inner-londons socialites when visiting eltham. In fact, tara p-t and lady victoria hervey were once spotted eating walkers sensations at the bar, whilst washing it down with a pint of hooch. It has now become apparent that they were only there to snort a line in the toilets. The site of nearly everyone in elthams first pint, the average age of the audience at ian c's garage night on a thursday is still pre-teen. Indeed the average age only rises above 15 for the weekly bare-knuckle boxing and illegal blood sports which were last seen in the east end in 1543. Recently subject to a beautiful makeover, in which the front of the pub was painted salmon pink, and the pool table was moved (to cover the holes in the carpet).

Appearance 0/5 Clientele 0/5 Range of alcohol 1/5 Staff 1/5 Price 3/5 Overall 5/25

THE PARK TAVERN

A delightful olde-english style pub, only really visited on pub-crawls, and on both occasions a glass was smashed and a quick exit was made. Close to elthams best bookies and boasting an impressive beer patio (see picture), it is an ideal pub for wasting money in the summer as your three legged horse sir winalot falls at the first again. A reasonably priced, well staffed and laid back establshment.

Appearance 3/5 Clientele 2/5 Range of alcohol 3/5 Staff 4/5 Price 3/5 Overall 15/25

THE CROWN

Eltham's numero one pub for watching sport, namely arsenal games on a sunday (rozza). Don't be put off by the over 25's only sign on the door, as this is only to deter elthams growing number of rats and street urchins. Once you have removed your baseball cap, you will find that the bar harbours an impressive array of draught beer and tavern snacks, which are all reasonably priced. The one let-down is the expensive pool table, but don't let that put you off as you can still enjoy good conversation in the carefree atmosphere, and listen to some classic music on the excellent touch-screen jukebox.

Appearance 3/5 Clientele 3/5 Range of alcohol 3/5 Staff 5/5 Price 3/5 Overall 19/25

The self proclaimed trendiest pub in eltham, and about the only place you are likely to encounter a woman who is 'about an 8 or a 9, maybe a 9 and a half in 4 beers time'. The down side is that you're also likely to encounter wee and woo, gucci loafered, sockless gentleman, who like getting fired up on beer, and when the weekend's near, like to exercise their right to get paraletic and fight

THE OLD POST OFFICE

Appearance 3/5 Clientele 1/5 Range of alcohol 4/5 Staff 2/5 Price 3/5 Overall 13/25

THE WHITE HART

Only just allowed to be included in this prestige page due to the fact that it is just about part of the high street and is actually quite a good pub. Again only really visited as part of the eltham pub crawl, amusing incidents include a pissed pieman playing what he was told was an £8,000 guitar whilst polishing off the remains of someones buffet. Rob bought a J20 drink there once, obviously wanting to get well pissed, and steve inadvertedly described to a complete stanger his technique for taking a shite without having to wipe your arse. All in all a well decorated, well priced pub.

Appearance 3/5 Clientele 2/5 Range of alcohol 3/5 Staff 3/5 Price 3/5 Overall 14/25

DOUBLE M'S BAR

Deservedly at the bottom of the page, due to it being the worst pub in eltham. Formerly waltons sports bar, now is deserted after loss of licence and strict entrance laws (see sign)

Appearance 0/5 Clientele 0/5 Range of alcohol 0/5 Staff 0/5 Price 0/5 Overall 0/25

Other places where alcohol can be obtained are riley's snooker, new world (jackie man) snooker, the restaurant near WHSmiths that changes its name every week, electric cafe, china noodle, lale cafe and of course the wonderful lessa club (now edf) which may have a profile soon.

NON-ELTHAM PUBS

THE RED LION

After widespread outrage at this pub not originally being included on the page, a new section has been created. Getting the bad side out of the way first, this pubs main drawback is that just because they are the second highest pub (altitude wise) in london after The Bull, they think they can charge the highest prices. Apart from that however, this is possibly the best pub in the area, and a firm favourite among elthams more experinced drinkers. It is a top sports watching venue (rwc final), has the best barwoman in london (claire), the pool table is cheap (like the budgie), and was the venue for some enjoyable parties such as steves 18th and gangrels army leaving do.(Apologies for over use of brackets(sorry)).

Appearance 5/5 Clientele 5/5 Range of alcohol 3/5 Staff 5/5 Price 1/5 Overall 19/25

THE GATE CLOCK (GREENWICH WETHERSPOONS)

The pre-night out pub, full of the areas pretty young things, and as it is a jd's, you can get hammered and play millionaire for less than a fiver. Close to st chris's and new cross, it is ideally situated and always starts the evening off well.

Appearance 4/5 Clientele 5/5 Range of alcohol 4/5 Staff 1/5 Price 5/5 Overall 19/25