stories '01
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Papergate: One evening after an extended session of pat-ball against the DT block after school, mike c, james and steve tried to pull off one of the great heists of the 21st century.  Lying inside Mr Ryans office was a large box of A4 printer paper, which mike thought it would be a good idea to steal, so they did, and james took it home to his house.  Needless to say they got caught, due to Mr 'Poirot' Whelan catching them on CCTV, and coming to the conclusion that it was a planned operation, and that james and steve has been mikes accomplices, acting as look-outs as mike stole the paper.  Surprisingly the incident didn't make the tabloids and the trio were not jailed as had been suggested by the prosecutors.
Leavers day: jack got pissed on a box of finest Sainsburys Hock, and matt had a slash on the centre spot of a local footy pitch, everyone got their shirt signed and had lots of fun, that's about it.
Polegate: steve, mike c, jack and james go on a 2 day camping holiday just near Eastbourne and after getting drunk on safeway own brand vodka, steve inexplicably decides to have a shit and throw it at james's face who is so pissed he doesn't even realise until jack points it out
Leavers ball:a drink-free affair with surprisingly little incident, the highlight of the night being steve leaving his face/off video in the back of the limo. After the ball we went for a walk in the fields and met some illegal campers who were for some reason surprised to see 20 kids in tux's wandering around at 3 in the morning, and steve in his pierce brosnan outfit.
Stereophonics: got a coach to Donnington race track. We were probably the only people who didn't take a car, and as a result had no equipment, and so had to eat beans out of empty pot noodle cups. Matt got wasted and tried to steal a giant frying pan from a food van, and we actually met the band at the hotel they were staying at, which we had visited to watch the British Lions lose to Australia.
Pub crawl: on a pub crawl throw the delightful pubs of Eltham, including the Park Tavern and the now derelict Waltons, everyone gets wasted, steve starts a fight, james destroys his phone, and we enjoy a sing song on the 321 on the way to the Venue. We lose somehow lose matt, and he then proceeds to ring everyone from a payphone, including jacks house, whose mum picks up and so pie tells her that jack is in Eltham on his own getting beaten up, when really he is safe and sound in crime-free new cross. Matt also rings Samways with the now legendary 'Where the bohemian are you? I'm outside the bohemian Venue'.
Kintbury: on a school trip to a Catholic priory in the middle of the country, we smuggled in some hard masculine drinks and set about getting smashed. After a few glasses of Lambrini and Archers, we were interrupted by a call to the quiet room for an evening prayer session.  Jack was last to leave the room, and decided to get rid of the evidence, which consisted of 4 glasses of fine sparkling wine, and instead of pouring them down the sink, drank them. The quiet room was then disturbed every 10 seconds by jack burping and releasing his gas for a period of about 10 minutes. Any suspicions of forbidden activity were confirmed when a teacher heard us snorting vodka through an open window, though he probably thought we were snorting something more dangerous, gin maybe.  Our room was subsequently searched and the game was up.
New years eve :pieman turns up at the pub about 4 hours after everyone else, and proceeds to 'catch up' by downing about 10 baileys in 5 minutes, not realising that the others have only had 4 pints and a bag of peanuts all day.  Matt would take up the story from here but he can't, but he was seen pulling a munter, and trying to pull various others.