My Funniest F*ck

The Picture magazine runs a page dedicated to My (whatever) F*ck. I've had a few of these published they're easy and fun to write.

WC Feelz Wayne Collins May 2000

I was travelling around the country working as a fruit picker when I picked up my funniest one. She worked in the local pub where I spent all my spare time -not to mention my spare money!

When I went to pick her up for dinner I almost didn't recognise her. For some reason she had changed her hair colour from honey blonde to the darkest black imaginable. But she still looked good -and girls are forever dyeing their hair, so I didn't think too much of it.

The evening went well and fairly soon we were back at my place, bumping uglies like maniacs. She was a top root, tying me to the bed and riding me like ye olde penny-farthing bicycle.

She would build me right up to the edge but wouldn't let me shoot my load. Consequently by the third time she did this I was getting pretty excited.

She had me on the verge for the fourth time when I could stand it no more. I broke the cords around my wrists -and screaming like a banshee -took her doggie style for about three strokes before blowing such a load I was sure I'd have to put my balls back in my sack through the hole in my dick.

As I came, I instinctively reached out and grabbed her hair only to find it came off in my hand. Fuck me, I though I'd scalped her and was about to run from the room, hell overseas was looking good until I saw her rolling around on the floor laughing like blazes, rubbing her bald shiny head.

It turns out she'd shaved her head for one of those charity drives and had taken to wearing wigs until it grew back.

Yes, we both had a bloody good laugh, but I really couldn't bring myself to fuck her again after I'd seen her bald.

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