| Annulment
It’s not unusual for a western male to fall in love with a Filipina who is married. It’s hardly as scandalous as it sounds, though. The fact is that divorce has been impossible in the Philippines for almost fifty years. It literally does not exist. As a result, when a Filipino marriage begins to fall apart, the husband and wife have two options. They can either live together and suffer each other’s company or they can split up and move away from one another. Either way, they remain married. This is a particular problem for Filipinas who are abused by their husbands or who have been abandoned. Abandonment is quite common. A husband tires of his wife, his daily routine, whatever, so he simply packs up his bags and moves away to start another life, often with a mistress. Alternatively, the wife of an abusive husband may flee her home for her own safety, or that of her children. In either of these situations, the woman remains legally bound to her husband. She remains married and cannot get divorced, whether her husband left her or she left him. Yet one can hardly blame a woman for dreaming of a better life with a better man.She may not have seen her husband for a year, five years, even ten years. Perhaps she knows where he is, perhaps not. He might even be dead, for all she knows. Still, her entire life is on hold. She wants to start over, to have a happy marriage and a happy life, but she cannot remarry until she is divorced, and divorce is simply impossible. Fortunately, she does have one option, one slim ray of hope: Annulment. Annulment is simply a voided marriage. In the eyes of the Philippine government and the Catholic Church, an annulled marriage is a marriage that never really happened. It’s as if someone stepped into a time machine and traveled back in time and prevented the marriage from ever occurring. This is different from divorce, where everyone agrees there was a marriage, but that the divorce “ends” the marriage. Divorce terminates something that really existed – a marriage. Annulment points out that there never really was a marriage, thus there’s no need for divorce, and nothing to prevent the individuals in the annulled marriage from marrying again. Well, not exactly “again”, since the first marriage never happened, right? You get the idea. The Family Code of the Philippines governs annulments. Here is the most pertinent section in that regard: Chapter 3. Void and Voidable Marriages Art. 35. The following marriages shall be void from the beginning: (1) Those contracted by any party below eighteen years of age even with the consent of parents or guardians; (2) Those solemnized by any person not legally authorized to perform marriages unless such marriages were contracted with either or both parties believing in good faith that the solemnizing officer had the legal authority to do so; (3) Those solemnized without license, except those covered the preceding Chapter; (4) Those bigamous or polygamous marriages not failing under Article 41; (5) Those contracted through mistake of one contracting party as to the identity of the other; and (6) Those subsequent marriages that are void under Article 53. Art. 36. A marriage contracted by any party who, at the time of the celebration, was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital obligations of marriage, shall likewise be void even if such incapacity becomes manifest only after its solemnization. (As amended by Executive Order 227) Art. 37. Marriages between the following are incestuous and void from the beginning, whether relationship between the parties be legitimate or illegitimate: (1) Between ascendants and descendants of any degree; and (2) Between brothers and sisters, whether of the full or half blood. (81a) Art. 38. The following marriages shall be void from the beginning for reasons of public policy: (1) Between collateral blood relatives whether legitimate or illegitimate, up to the fourth civil degree; (2) Between step-parents and step-children; (3) Between parents-in-law and children-in-law; (4) Between the adopting parent and the adopted child; (5) Between the surviving spouse of the adopting parent and the adopted child; (6) Between the surviving spouse of the adopted child and the adopter; (7) Between an adopted child and a legitimate child of the adopter; (8) Between adopted children of the same adopter; and (9) Between parties where one, with the intention to marry the other, killed that other person's spouse, or his or her own spouse. (82) Art. 39. The action or defense for the declaration of absolute nullity of a marriage shall not prescribe. (As amended by Executive Order 227 and Republic Act No. 8533; The phrase "However, in case of marriage celebrated before the effectivity of this Code and falling under Article 36, such action or defense shall prescribe in ten years after this Code shall taken effect" has been deleted by Republic Act No. 8533 [Approved February 23, 1998]). Art. 40. The absolute nullity of a previous marriage may be invoked for purposes of remarriage on the basis solely of a final judgment declaring such previous marriage void. (n) Art. 41. A marriage contracted by any person during subsistence of a previous marriage shall be null and void, unless before the celebration of the subsequent marriage, the prior spouse had been absent for four consecutive years and the spouse present has a well-founded belief that the absent spouse was already dead. In case of disappearance where there is danger of death under the circumstances set forth in the provisions of Article 391 of the Civil Code, an absence of only two years shall be sufficient. For the purpose of contracting the subsequent marriage under the preceding paragraph the spouse present must institute a summary proceeding as provided in this Code for the declaration of presumptive death of the absentee, without prejudice to the effect of reappearance of the absent spouse. (83a) Art. 42. The subsequent marriage referred to in the preceding Article shall be automatically terminated by the recording of the affidavit of reappearance of the absent spouse, unless there is a judgment annulling the previous marriage or declaring it void ab initio. A sworn statement of the fact and circumstances of reappearance shall be recorded in the civil registry of the residence of the parties to the subsequent marriage at the instance of any interested person, with due notice to the spouses of the subsequent marriage and without prejudice to the fact of reappearance being judicially determined in case such fact is disputed. (n) Art. 43. The termination of the subsequent marriage referred to in the preceding Article shall produce the following effects: (1) The children of the subsequent marriage conceived prior to its termination shall be considered legitimate; (2) The absolute community of property or the conjugal partnership, as the case may be, shall be dissolved and liquidated, but if either spouse contracted said marriage in bad faith, his or her share of the net profits of the community property or conjugal partnership property shall be forfeited in favor of the common children or, if there are none, the children of the guilty spouse by a previous marriage or in default of children, the innocent spouse; (3) Donations by reason of marriage shall remain valid, except that if the donee contracted the marriage in bad faith, such donations made to said donee are revoked by operation of law; (4) The innocent spouse may revoke the designation of the other spouse who acted in bad faith as beneficiary in any insurance policy, even if such designation be stipulated as irrevocable; and (5) The spouse who contracted the subsequent marriage in bad faith shall be disqualified to inherit from the innocent spouse by testate and intestate succession. (n) Art. 44. If both spouses of the subsequent marriage acted in bad faith, said marriage shall be void ab initio and all donations by reason of marriage and testamentary dispositions made by one in favor of the other are revoked by operation of law. (n) Art. 45. A marriage may be annulled for any of the following causes, existing at the time of the marriage: (1) That the party in whose behalf it is sought to have the marriage annulled was eighteen years of age or over but below twenty-one, and the marriage was solemnized without the consent of the parents, guardian or person having substitute parental authority over the party, in that order, unless after attaining the age of twenty-one, such party freely cohabited with the other and both lived together as husband and wife; (2) That either party was of unsound mind, unless such party after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife; (3) That the consent of either party was obtained by fraud, unless such party afterwards, with full knowledge of the facts constituting the fraud, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife; (4) That the consent of either party was obtained by force, intimidation or undue influence, unless the same having disappeared or ceased, such party thereafter freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife; (5) That either party was physically incapable of consummating the marriage with the other, and such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable; or (6) That either party was afflicted with a sexually-transmissible disease found to be serious and appears to be incurable. (85a) Art. 46. Any of the following circumstances shall constitute fraud referred to in Number 3 of the preceding Article: (1) Non-disclosure of a previous conviction by final judgment of the other party of a crime involving moral turpitude; (2) Concealment by the wife of the fact that at the time of the marriage, she was pregnant by a man other than her husband; (3) Concealment of sexually transmissible disease, regardless of its nature, existing at the time of the marriage; or (4) Concealment of drug addiction, habitual alcoholism or homosexuality or lesbianism existing at the time of the marriage. No other misrepresentation or deceit as to character, health, rank, fortune or chastity shall constitute such fraud as will give grounds for action for the annulment of marriage. (86a) Art. 47. The action for annulment of marriage must be filed by the following persons and within the periods indicated herein: (1) For causes mentioned in number 1 of Article 45 by the party whose parent or guardian did not give his or her consent, within five years after attaining the age of twenty-one, or by the parent or guardian or person having legal charge of the minor, at any time before such party has reached the age of twenty-one; (2) For causes mentioned in number 2 of Article 45, by the same spouse, who had no knowledge of the other's insanity; or by any relative or guardian or person having legal charge of the insane, at any time before the death of either party, or by the insane spouse during a lucid interval or after regaining sanity; (3) For causes mentioned in number 3 of Article 45, by the injured party, within five years after the discovery of the fraud; (4) For causes mentioned in number 4 of Article 45, by the injured party, within five years from the time the force, intimidation or undue influence disappeared or ceased; (5) For causes mentioned in number 5 and 6 of Article 45, by the injured party, within five years after the marriage. (87a) Art. 48. In all cases of annulment or declaration of absolute nullity of marriage, the Court shall order the prosecuting attorney or fiscal assigned to it to appear on behalf of the State to take steps to prevent collusion between the parties and to take care that evidence is not fabricated or suppressed. In the cases referred to in the preceding paragraph, no judgment shall be based upon a stipulation of facts or confession of judgment. (88a) Art. 49. During the pendency of the action and in the absence of adequate provisions in a written agreement between the spouses, the Court shall provide for the support of the spouses and the custody and support of their common children. The Court shall give paramount consideration to the moral and material welfare of said children and their choice of the parent with whom they wish to remain as provided to in Title IX. It shall also provide for appropriate visitation rights of the other parent. (n) Art. 50. The effects provided for by paragraphs (2), (3), (4) and (5) of Article 43 and by Article 44 shall also apply in the proper cases to marriages which are declared ab initio or annulled by final judgment under Articles 40 and 45. The final judgment in such cases shall provide for the liquidation, partition and distribution of the properties of the spouses, the custody and support of the common children, and the delivery of third presumptive legitimes, unless such matters had been adjudicated in previous judicial proceedings. All creditors of the spouses as well as of the absolute community or the conjugal partnership shall be notified of the proceedings for liquidation. In the partition, the conjugal dwelling and the lot on which it is situated, shall be adjudicated in accordance with the provisions of Articles 102 and 129. Art. 51. In said partition, the value of the presumptive legitimes of all common children, computed as of the date of the final judgment of the trial court, shall be delivered in cash, property or sound securities, unless the parties, by mutual agreement judicially approved, had already provided for such matters. The children or their guardian or the trustee of their property may ask for the enforcement of the judgment. The delivery of the presumptive legitimes herein prescribed shall in no way prejudice the ultimate successional rights of the children accruing upon the death of either of both of the parents; but the value of the properties already received under the decree of annulment or absolute nullity shall be considered as advances on their legitime. (n) Art. 52. The judgment of annulment or of absolute nullity of the marriage, the partition and distribution of the properties of the spouses and the delivery of the children's presumptive legitimes shall be recorded in the appropriate civil registry and registries of property; otherwise, the same shall not affect third persons. (n) Art. 53. Either of the former spouses may marry again after compliance with the requirements of the immediately preceding Article; otherwise, the subsequent marriage shall be null and void. Art. 54. Children conceived or born before the judgment of annulment or absolute nullity of the marriage under Article 36 has become final and executory shall be considered legitimate. Children conceived or born of the subsequent marriage under Article 53 shall likewise be legitimate. Superstitions Westerner's View Odds are, if you’re engaged or married to a Filipina, you’re already aware that superstition plays a prominent role in Filipino culture. True, every culture entertains superstition to some degree (for westerners, the stigma attached to the number 13, knocking over a saltshaker, or walking under a ladder are examples), but in the Philippines superstition has evolved into a virtual science. It’s a part of life, just like eating, drinking, and brown outs. And as the sexes go, Filipinas tend to be much more superstitious than their male counterparts. My theory here is that protecting the home from evil spirits and curses is considered “woman’s work”, i.e., the responsibility of the wife. I say this based on my observation, while in the Philippines, that all the women on my wife’s side of the family spend considerable time analyzing and overcoming potential curses, whereas the men seem more interested in tackling the REAL problems of the world, like war and social injustice, by sitting in lawn chairs next to the road and talking loudly. Usually while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes in rapid succession and yelling “hoy!” at random passers-by. I think it may be awhile before we see world peace under these circumstances, but at least these gentlemen are making an effort. As a western husband, then, you can do one of two things. You can facilitate your wife’s belief system for the benefit of your marriage, or you can try to put a stop to it. The latter option is not a very good one, and here’s why: First, she’s not going to abandon her superstitions simply because you find them silly. She may be more covert about some things, and less willing to discuss with you her thoughts and ideas on certain subjects, but just because you don’t know what’s going on doesn’t mean nothing’s going on. More importantly, you wife will resent you for your attack her core beliefs. Think of it this way: Many American guys live for NFL football, and would go absolutely bonkers if their wives decided to start up a conversation about, say, curtains, in the last two minutes of the game with the score tied and a playoff berth on the line. You must know that many wives think such devotion to a “game” is the height of silliness, especially when there are critical drapery decisions to be made. But for you, football is important, and a part of your life, and if you’re lucky, your wife will tolerate your devotion to the game. So, my thinking is that, if she lets you have your football, you should let her protect your home from vampires. Second, all that superstitious activity can really be quite endearing. It definitely makes a marriage more interesting. As an example, my wife positively refuses to throw away uncooked rice. We had a 25 pound bag of rice in Hawai’i one time, and she found bugs in it, but she wouldn’t throw it away because to do so was bad luck. However, after considerable discussion of the pro’s and con’s of having a bug-filled bag of rice in our kitchen for the rest of our lives (I took the con side of the argument), my wife graciously allowed me to haul the bag out to the side of the street. I’ve often wondered why it’s okay to throw away cooked rice, but not uncooked. Had we brewed up a rice-n-bug soup, could she have thrown that away, for instance...? Mind you, this is my wife’s own particular superstition, and it may be restricted to her village or her province, and isn’t necessarily a Philippines-wide belief. The point is that, far from finding such incidents frustrating, I usually find them amusing. My wife turned a mundane activity like throwing away rice into an adventure, full of all kinds of peril. Well, perceived peril, I guess I should say, since she was never quite clear on what happens to someone who throws away uncooked rice. Presumably something bad. In retrospect, I think that may have been about the time that I first noticed my hairline receding... Point number two, then, is that you should view your wife’s superstitions in a positive light. You wanted exotic – you got it! The third reason for facilitating your wife’s beliefs is that – hey, who knows, maybe she’s on to something! I mean, how do you know that someone hasn’t put the evil eye on you? You probably wouldn’t know an evil eye if you saw one, would you? How do you know that vampires aren’t making nightly jaunts to your house, only to be turned back by that garlic clove in the window? Sure you don’t see the vampires, but that only means the garlic in the window is working. And while you might not be interested in where you got the flu, your loving wife might be very hard at work analyzing everything you’ve done, and everyone you’ve encountered, for the past three weeks of your life, and at some point she may figure out exactly who or what made you sick. Then she’ll prescribe a cure (in my house, such cures often consist of sour fruits and pocketing spent shell casings from large caliber rifles), and voila, in a few days you’re going to get all better. Guaranteed. The wonderful thing about a having highly superstitious nature is that you’re never at a loss for an explanation. Of anything. Science is burdensome in that it requires all kinds of theories and tests and re-tests before conclusions can be reached, but superstitions are flexible and provide answers on the fly, as needed. My wife, for example, is never, ever at a loss for why something occurs. Whether it be an illness, a pay raise, a car wreck, or bad weather, she always has the inside scoop. Cause and Effect are readily apparent to her. As an example, if I were to trip on a treadmill at the gym and rub the skin off my knees (I’m not saying this happened, but I should point out that those treadmills aren’t nearly as wide as they should be), I’ll bandage up my injuries, swallow my pride, and forget about it. But my wife will require only minutes to come up with a hypothesis like, “I think you made someone mad and they did that to you.” The cause and effect thing need not have a supernatural basis, by the way. Food and hygiene are often the culprits when things go right or wrong. You may forget things because you’re not eating enough peanuts, for example. A woman might get ill because she washed her hair during the first day of her menstrual cycle. I might get fat (okay - “fatter”), because I didn’t eat a sour fruit after my main course. These types of beliefs would better be described as folklore or wives’ tales than superstition, but they can be just as taxing on a western husband who’s unable to accommodate his wife’s beliefs. (A side note here: I’ve observed that oil, creams, salves, and liquids are considered by many Filipinas to be more legitimate in treating illnesses than pills or capsules. Just something to keep in mind if you’ve ever got a sick asawa on your hands.) I should address numerology and dream interpretation, too. For every season there is a reason...and for every number and dream, too, apparently. Numbers are everywhere, even in places you might not think to look. A hair on the bathroom counter might be in the shape of a 6, for example. There might be a scribble on a piece of paper you find on the ground that, in the right light and with enough squinting, reveals the number 87. More obvious sources for numbers are license plates, hotel room numbers, phone numbers, ages, birthdays, and television channels. And there’s only one practical use for such numbers – gambling. In the Philippines, these discovered numbers will be used in the game of “jueting”, whereas in the U.S. the numbers will be applied to one of the state lotteries. My wife is seriously concerned that someday my job might require me to transfer to a state without a lottery. Sure, there are other considerations, like crime, pollution, climate, etc., but the most important of all considerations is the availability of a lottery. Or, absent that, a state’s proximity to a civilized area that does have the lottery. Dreams have supernatural trappings in many cultures, of course, including those of the west. Carl Jung and Freud come immediately to mind as pioneers in dream research, though Freud was more pragmatic and Jung more unconventional in approaching these night time visions. Needless to say, Filipinos are just as interested in dreams and interpretations of dreams as westerners are, if not more so. I don’t see any reason to go into more detail, since this is one subject all of you are already familiar with. Especially if your read the tabloids at the supermarkets. Just be aware that you will probably spend the occasional morning discussing the ramifications of what your asawa dreamt about the night before. All this simply means that you should support your wife, whether you find her beliefs logical or inexplicable. Superstition is how she deals with the mysteries of everyday life, and her beliefs contribute greatly to her psychological makeup. If you pull away one of the pillars of her personality, your charming, loving wife might become dull and cynical. By depriving her of part of her culture, you might extinguish the fire that attracted you to her in the first place. To wrap all this up, I’ll convey one of my own experiences to you. One night on the Discovery Channel there was a show about superstitions. It covered all the basics, like black cats and broken mirrors, along with the possible origins of the beliefs. I was sitting next to my wife on the couch watching the show, which she fully expected to provide her with more ammunition in her relentless struggle against the forces of evil (I seem to recall she had a pad of paper nearby in case notes were necessary). The show was pretty entertaining until an editor for Skeptic magazine was interviewed. He stated, in a very condescending tone, that superstitions were stupid and often dangerous and that he found it incredible that modern people still accepted such myths. Now, I’m not personally superstitious, and in a different setting, I might have be nodding my head in agreement with the guy. But I knew that my wife was watching, and I suddenly realized that the last thing I wanted was for my wife to find herself under attack by some academic in a sweater on television. It took me only a few seconds to decide to change the channel to a more suitable program. Battlebots. My wife didn’t complain. And believe me, she’s no fan of the Battlebots. She thinks it’s silly, the idea of remotely controlled robots fighting each other. But she sat there next to me and watched as Atomic Wedgie pushed Vlad the Impaler into the Kill-Saws again and again, giggling at the absurdity of it all but never raising a single objection. She gets her vampires, and I get Vlad the Impaler. It's a wondeful arrangement. I wonder if the editor of Skeptic magazine watches Battlebots. I bet he does, even if he won’t admit it. Sources of Conflict in Fil-West Marriages Westerner's View No marriage is perfect, obviously. The high divorce rate in many western nations is a good indicator of that. In fact, the most western men who marry Filipinas do so with the belief that Fil-West marriages are more resilient than most, and less likely to end in divorce. Statistics would seem to bear that out, since Fil-West unions have close to an 80% success rate, which is much higher, for example, than the American average. Still, Fil-West marriages have ups and downs, like all other marriages. Husbands and wives, each with their own passions and philosophies, are prone to argue from time to time over various matters, some little and some big. A Filipina and her western husband are likely to argue over some things that are unique to Fil-West relationships, however. There are a few sources of conflict that tend to recur in Fil-West relationships, which I’ve dutifully listed below. While you may not encounter all of these incendiary issues, odds are you’ll run up against at least one of them. 1. Sending money to the Philippines: You’ll both have to decide early on how much money, if any, you will send to the Philippines. Most Filipinas believe it is morally imperative that they help support their families in the Philippines. If you agree, there’s less likely to be a problem, but even then you may disagree with your wife about how the money is being spent. You may intend it to be used for repairs to a house, for example, only to learn it was spent on school clothes. You’ll need to decide whether they money is a flat gift, to be spent as needed, even own luxuries, or whether the money is a conditional allowance, to be spent only on those items you and your wife agree on. If the money is spent on other things, will you cut the allowance off? Also, her family may or may not request funds in addition to what you would normally send. If so, do you send it always, never, or upon condition? 2. Your relationship with your families: Problems may arise if your wife thinks that your relationship to her family, or even your own, is lacking. Filipinas are family-oriented, and may be much more eager to assist your family in getting things done than even you are. If you have a bad relationship with family members, that could be a problem. Also, she will expect you to facilitate a good relationship with your in-laws. 3. Competition with neighbors: Some Filipinas are competitive. It’s all about pride, really. If your wife wants a new car, it might be because she hates the old car, or it might be because all your neighbors and friends have better cars. If you find yourself with such a lady, and you’re the thrifty type, you may have some issues. 4. Superstitions: Some Filipinas prefer folk cures to medicine, and superstitious presumptions to logic. This will frustrate men with analytical minds who trust science. If your wife is sick and refuses to take a prescription medication, but instead relies on some magical talisman that wards off curses, how will you handle the situation? 5. Religion: If you are Catholic, this is probably a non-issue for you. But if you’re not Catholic… |
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