| Seeing The Family As God Sees It The Role Of Woman In The Family INTRODUCTION: i. In our last lesson, we talked about the role of man in the family as God sees it. In this lesson, we shall give our attention to THE ROLE OF WOMAN IN THE FAMILY. ii. As we go through this lesson, there is going to be the conspicuous absence of teaching about the role of a woman, per se, in the world as a “career woman”… • Understanding that some women might be driven to the workplace by necessity (realizing it is important to discern necessity from covetousness – i.e., “keeping up with the Jones’”) • Many have adamantly tried to support this idea from Scripture using the example of… - Deborah (Judges 4-5) – as a prophetess and judge over Israel - Lydia (Acts 16:14-15) – as a seller of purple - Priscilla (Acts 18:3) – as a tentmaker - (even) The Virtuous Woman (Prov. 31:10ff) – as a real-estate agent (???) • These examples offer no such evidence to reinforce the modern pattern of a “career woman!” • As a matter of fact, NOWHERE does the Bible commend this idea! If anything, this idea defies many principles the Bible teaches regarding a woman (e.g., women’s role in church, etc.). • REMEMBER: Modern day feminism is an attack on the family! iii. With this in mind, THE ROLE OF WOMAN IN THE FAMILY consists of these four basic functions… • As a “keeper at home”—to manage the home • As a wife—to be virtuous and submissive • As a mother—to love her children • As an older woman—to be a teacher and a doer of good things iv. With these points as our outline, the purpose of this lesson is… • To encourage women to measure their worth by God’s standard, not the world’s – 1 Pet. 3:4 • To inspire women to be like those “holy women” of old—women who “profess godliness with good works” in their every thought, word and deed – 1 Pet. 3:5; 1 Tim. 2:10 • To challenge women to realize their fullest potential as “keepers at home,” wives, mothers, and teachers and doers of good things – Tit. 2:3-5 DISCUSSION: I. AS A “KEEPER AT HOME”—TO MANAGE THE HOME A. God has given women the responsibility to be, among other things, “keepers at home” (KJV) – Tit 2:5 1. This phrase has been translated in many ways… a. The American Standard Version (ASV) says, “workers at home” b. The English Standard Version (ESV) says, “working at home” c. The International Standard Version (ISV) says, “managers of their households” d. The New American Standard Bible (NASB95) says, “workers at home” e. The New King James Version (NKJV) says, “homemakers” f. The New Living Translation (NLT) says, “to take care of their homes” g. The Revised Standard Version (RSV) says, “domestic” h. The Living Bible says, “spending their times in their own homes” i. The New International Version (NIV) says, “to be busy at home” 2. This phrase has been interpreted in many ways… a. Chauvinistic – i.e., women are inferior to men; demeaning b. Oppressive – “keep ‘em at home” (i.e., barefoot and pregnant mentality) c. Legalized slavery – i.e., someone to clean up after everyone d. Politically incorrect – remember it is better to be “scripturally correct!” e. NOTE: Some men fuel these bad ideas by treating their wives in an ungodly fashion. 3. This phrase comes from the compound Greek word oikouros [oy•koo•ros] (used only once) and is defined as “1 caring for the house, working at home. 1A the (watch or) keeper of the house. 1B keeping at home and taking care of household affairs. 1C a domestic.” (Enhanced Strong’s). B. What does it mean to be a “keeper at home?” 1. A women is clearly to manage the home – 1 Tim. 5:14 a. To handle all affairs as they relate to the home—the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10ff describes many acts along these lines… (1) She willingly works with her hands (v. 13) (2) She provides food for her household (vs. 14-15) (3) She stewards her money wisely (v.16) (4) She clothes herself and her household (v. 13,19-22) (5) She is benevolent (20) (6) She is profitable from the home (v. 24) (7) She radiates wisdom and kindness (v. 26) b. Her role in this capacity is best summed up by the saying, “She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness” (Prov. 31:27) (1) Note that this work does not only includes domestic duties (2) It includes keeping, or guarding, the heart of the home as well (i.e., the morality character and spirit of the home) c. Indeed, “her own works praise her in the gates” (v. 31)! 2. The wise man writes, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands” (Prov. 14:1). This reminds us of the other end of the spectrum… a. Women who are “idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not…giving opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Tim. 5:13,14b) b. Women who are quick to get into mischief, whose “…feet would not stay at home” (Prov. 7:11) C. Where is the godly art of homemaking learned? 1. This is a topic the Lord commands older women to teach, and rightly so! A brief search of the internet produced two lovely quotes for your reflection: a. One woman wisely said, “The scriptures use the word Oikuros, which literally means to keep, to be "ware," to guard as the watch of a dwelling (emphasis not on the building but on the inhabitants therein). This word corresponds to the Greek words used in the scriptures for gardener and doorkeeper. Women of God are called not only to care for, to nurture, to cook and clean for their households, though these are great and worthy activities. However, more is intended. We are to keep watch over the things that can enter a home and harm our families, things like a sharp tongue, ungodly reading material, wrong responses to our husbands, undisciplined living, unruly or rebellious friends for our children, and an unjoyful attitude in what may seem to us at times a life of monotony, etc. In order to be wise and discern good and evil, we as "keepers" must be continually studying God's Word with an open, clean heart for the Holy Spirit to teach us ALL truth. 2. The amazing thing is that this art is best learned in the home by example and practice! a. It is also learned by those who have never experienced this aspect of womanhood (i.e., those raised by ungodly parents, with no virtuous example to follow growing up)! b. It is taught by older women to younger, it is taught by mothers to daughters (i.e., this role should be learned as a child and should be second nature by the time one is a women)! 3. If this is something you have never been taught… a. Seek out those who live these characteristics and imitate them (i.e., your mothers in the faith, etc. b. If there are no godly women to teach you (which unfortunately is not uncommon in our modern “enlightened” society), seek out literature that exalts this type of behavior in a woman. You might have to weed through some erroneous doctrine, but much good can be gleaned. Godly women abound in “Christian” literature (sometimes termed “inspiration fiction” or “historic fiction”). c. Once you have learned the art of being a godly woman, you can be a catalyst for change in your sphere of influence, so that future generations will have godly women to look to Wife means weaver. In the primitive home, one of the principal employments was the making of clothing. The wool was spun into threads by the girls, who were therefore called spinsters; the thread was woven into cloth by their mother who accordingly was called the weaver, or wife. It is the duty of the wife to cultivate the ability of making home happy; keeping her house bright and attractive; and at the same time being equal in position and influence with her husband. “God did not take her out of the head of man to be over him, nor from his feet to be under him, but out of his side to be equal with him, from under his arm to be sheltered and protected by him, and from near his heart to be loved and live in sympathy and helpfulness by his side.” The wife and husband are in a true sense one. Whatever is good for her is good for him. She owes no duty to him that he does not owe to her. The love and honor the wife requires of her husband that let her give to him. It is an even thing. Let every good wife remember that she is heaven’s last best gift to her husband; his angel of mercy; his minister of graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his casket of jewels; her voice, his sweetest music; her smiles, his brightest day; her kiss, the guardian of his innocence; her arms, the pale of his safety, the balm of his health, the balsam of his life; her industry, his surest wealth; her economy, his safest steward; her lips, his faithful counselors; her bosom, his softest pillow in distress; and her prayers, the ablest advocates of heavens blessings on his head. (There are godly women in the church, but in some places, they are very hard to find – Prov. 31:10)! The next responsibility of a woman in the home is closely related to the former, except that it entails a little more… II. AS A WIFE—TO BE VIRTUOUS AND SUBMISSIVE A. When God created woman, He said, “It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to woman” (Gen. 2:18). He then joined man and woman in marriage, making them one flesh! After sin entered the world through Eve’s sin, God said, regarding a woman’s relationship to her husband, “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Gen. 3:16b). These two sayings demonstrate the two aspects of a woman’s role as a wife… 1. To be virtuous (i.e., a helper for him) 2. To be submissive (i.e., under the husband’s rule) B. The virtuous wife – Prov. 31:10-31 1. As we have studied much from this context, it is important to realize the perspective of the wisdom being imparted—it is from the perspective of a mother instructing her son (King Lemuel) in what to look for in a wife! 2. Having considered what the context teaches about “keeping the home,” we now ask, what does the context say about a virtuous wife? a. Her worth is far above rubies (v. 10) b. She is trustworthy (v. 11) c. She does her husband good, not evil (v. 12) d. She works late into the night (v. 18) e. She makes her husband known in the gates (v. 23) f. Her wisdom is good and her words are kind (v. 26) – cf. Job’s wife (Job 2:9) g. She is praised by her husband (v. 28) h. She fears the Lord (v. 30) – cf. Lot’s wife (Gen. 19:26) 3. The wise man reminds us that "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones" (Prov. 12:4). Which do you desire to be? C. The submissive wife – Eph. 5:22-24; Col. 3:18; 1 Pet. 3:1-6 1. Women need to accept the fact that God has granted head-ship to the man – 1 Cor. 11:3. To deny this is to be rebel against God! 2. What does it mean to submit? Submit is defined as… a. “To give over or yield to the power or authority of another” b. 1. arrange under, to subordinate. 2 to subject, put in subjection. 3 to subject one’s self, obey. 4 to submit to one’s control. 5 to yield to one’s admonition or advice. 6 to obey, be subject.” (Strong’s Enhanced) c. The word is translated “be in subjection” (KJV) in 1 Pet. 3:1 3. Submission is qualified by the following commands… a. She is to submit “as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22) b. She is to submit “as the church is subject unto Christ” (Eph. 5:24) c. She is to submit “in everything” (Eph. 5:24) d. She is to submit “as is fit in the Lord” (Col. 3:18) (1) Women are first accountable to the Lord (2) This is especially noteworthy for women married to non-believers! 4. A woman’s submission is manifested in.... a. Her reverence – “respects her husband” (Eph. 5:33) b. Her conduct – “chaste … accompanied with fear” (1 Pet. 3:2) c. Her attire – “a gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Pet. 3:3-4) d. Her speech – “calling him Lord” (1 Pet. 3:6) “Mother’s Are…” Blowers of noses and washers of ears, Smoothers of bumped spots and wipers of tears, Bathers of babies and umpires of spats, Finders of boots and mittens and hats, Helpers with lessons and makers of beds, Shakers of dust cloths and combers of heads, Button-sew-oners and winders of clocks Menders of dresses and darners of socks. Tellers of stories and readers of books, Judges and juries of conduct and looks, Doctors of heartaches and hearers of prayers, Generals directing all family affairs, Tenders of home fires and builders of men, (Oh, for the gift of an adequate pen!) Her behavior in the church – “not…to teach or have authority over a man,” “be in silence,” (1 Cor. 14:34-35; 1 Tim. 2:11-12) 5. Eventhough modern-day feminism argues otherwise… a. Submission is not… (1) Legalized slavery or oppression (2) The giving up of your rights as a human being (3) The dismissal of your views and thoughts (4) The surrendering of “your” life b. Submission is simply part of the relationship prescribed by God for a happy marriage! 6. A woman’s submissive behavior can win an unbelieving husband to Christ – 1 Pet. 3:1-2 7. If you are not a submissive wife, then you are probably contentious – Prov. 19:13; 21:9,19; 25:24 D. Thus, let all married women fulfill their role as virtuous and submissive wives! Every wife must realize that her conduct towards her husband will not only teach her daughters how to behave toward her husband, it will also teach her sons what to look for in a wife! This brings up another role of woman in the family… III. AS A MOTHER—TO LOVE HER CHILDREN A. This is among the commands cited for a young woman – Tit. 2:4-5 1. A loving mother teaches her children – Prov. 1:8; Prov. 31 (King Lemuel’s mother’s instructions) 2. A loving mother protects her children – Ex. 2:1-10 3. A loving mother cherishes her children – 1 Thess. 2:7 4. A loving mother instructs her children wisely – cf. 2 Tim. 1:5 with 2 Chron. 22:2-3 5. A loving mother is concerned for her children’s interests – cf. Matt. 20:20 6. A loving mother is a good example to her children and husband – cf. Prov. 31:20 7. A loving mother supports her husband in bringing up her children – Eph. 6:4 B. Consider the example of four mothers in Scripture… 1. Jochebed is an example of a worthy mother… a. She demonstrated great love even in the midst of difficult and perilous times – Ex. 2:1-10 b. She instilled faith in her child, demonstrated later by his wise choice – Heb. 11:23-27 2. Hannah is an example of a mother who encouraged her son to excel in good things… a. She prayed earnestly for a child – 1 Sam. 1:11-18 b. She gave her child to the Lord as she promised – 1 Sam. 1:24-28 c. She continued to provide for her child – 1 Sam. 2:18-19 3. Eunice and Lois are examples of good mothers (and a good grandmother)… a. Obviously, Eunice learned her “genuine faith” from her mother – 2 Tim. 1:5 b. They, in turn, imparted that faith to Timothy – cf. Phil. 2:19-23 4. Rebekah is an example of a mother who loved, though in misguided way… a. She loved Jacob – Gen. 25:28 b. Though the birthright and blessing were Esau’s by law, she schemed to guarantee Jacob would receive the blessing – Gen. 27 C. A godly mother will be honored and respected – Prov. 31:28 This brings up the final role of a woman in the family. At some point a women might feel that she is of little use. But, the Bible teaches that as an older woman, she is of great value… IV. AS AN OLDER WOMAN—A TEACHER AND DOER OF GOOD THINGS A. An older woman will be a teacher of good things – Tit. 2:3-5 1. This includes admonishing the younger women… a. To love their husbands b. To love their children c. To be discreet d. To be chaste e. To be homemakers f. To be good g. To be obedient to their own husbands 2. Many older women do not teach because… a. They are unqualified by virtue of sin or error – cf. Tit. 2:3 b. They do not care to teach the younger women c. They are too lazy or too busy d. The younger women will not listen B. An older woman will be a doer of good things… 1. The qualifications of a widow indeed demand it – 1 Tim. 5:9-10 a. Wife of one man b. Well reported for good works – cf. Acts 9:36-39 (Dorcus); Rom. 16 (many godly women) c. Brought up children d. Lodged strangers – cf. 1 Kings 17:8 (the widow who housed Elijah) e. Washed the saints feet – cf. Luke 7:28-44; John 11:2; 12:3 f. Relieved the afflicted g. Diligently followed every good work 2. The qualifications of an elder’s wife demand it – cf. 1 Tim. 3:11 a. Reverent b. Not slanderers c. Temperate d. Faithful in all things C. Because of a lack of faithful, dedicated, committed older women, there is not nearly enough teaching regarding these responsibilities. Therefore, there are less young woman fulfilling their roles properly, which in turn translates into dysfunctional families, a less spiritual church, and ungodly homes. This is a trend that must be broken! V. SOME CHALLENGING QUESTIONS FOR WOMEN A. The following are some questions designed to provoke thought and reflection regarding your role as a woman in the family. 1. What kinds of thoughts come to my mind when I hear the phrase “keeper at home?” 2. Am I anxious to “escape” my husband and children at every opportunity? 3. Do I have any secret ambitions to leave the home and pursue a career? 4. Do I have lots of idle time on my hands? 5. Am I realizing my responsibilities as a manager of my home? 6. Do I keep my home a pleasant, peaceful and joyful place for my family? 7. Do I train my children diligently? 8. Do I give my children reason to rise up and call me blessed? 9. Do I give my husband reason to praise me? 10. Do I ever speak evil of my husband to my parents? Other women? In front of others? 11. Do I ever challenge my husband’s authority? Undermine his authority with the children? 12. How often do I pray for my children? My husband? My marriage? My home? 13. What can I do to love my husband more? 14. What can I do to love my children more? 15. What have I done to develop myself as a woman professing godliness today? This week? Month? 16. As an older woman, am I committed to teaching the younger women? 17. As an older woman, what kind of advice do I give to younger women? 18. What are my plans for serving others when my children leave the nest? 19. Am I striving to reach the qualifications of an elder’s wife? A widow indeed? 20. Do I take time to study and meditate on God’s word for personal growth? B. Please give prayerful consideration to each one of theseon a regular basis. CONCLUSION: i. Have you been encouraged to measure your worth by God’s standard, rather than the world’s? ii. Have you been inspired to be like those “holy women” of old—women who “profess godliness with good works” in their every thought, word and deed? iii. Have you been challenged to realize your fullest potential as a “keeper at home,” a wife, a mother, and a teacher and doer of good things? iv. None of that which we have just talked about is possible without your first committing your life to the Lord by becoming a Christian, a disciple of Christ. Are you a Christian? Click To Main Menu |