| Stop the Madness!
Are you pulling out your hair trying to find just the right gifts for the men in your life? Wel-come to my world! Recently I wandered aimlessly through the mall, caught in my usual shopping dilemma, agonizing over whether to buy my husband a tie or cologne for his birthday. I finally decided I couldn't buy him those things—not again. If you arranged my husband's ties end to end, they'd reach from here to Zimbabwe. And the EPA has caught wind of his cologne stockpile and is threatening to designate my bathroom a chemical biohazard. So I bit the bullet and called my husband, Richie, at work to ask for a list of some things he might actually like. He rattled off some items, but I had a tough time writing them down. I kept dozing off! I remember the highlight, though: a paper shredder. Fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends—they're all tough to shop for. Some men want something totally outrageous (a little red sports car). Some want a gift you can hardly bring yourself to buy (two words here: paper shredder). Some want something only they know how to purchase (such as a one-of-a-kind fishing rod or some weird mechanical gadget). Sometimes men make it even tougher by not wanting anything at all! Buying gifts for men has been a problem since Eve gave Adam a used apple. We know where that led. So how can we make our men happy without pulling out our hair? Heartfelt vs. Practical Presents Let's face it: It's easy to shop for women—we get to buy vicariously for each other. When we find something we'd love to have, it almost always makes the perfect gift. But that's the first shopping rule we have to toss out when we shop for men. My friend Amy, for instance, loves flowers. So she sent a beautiful arrangement to her husband for his birthday at his all-male office. While I know some men enjoy receiving flowers, Amy's husband isn't one of them. I'm sure he was being as tender as he could when he came home after a long day of teasing and said, "Don't ever do that to me again." Despite our society's focus on equality of the sexes, the reality is, men and women are different—especially when it comes to gift-giving. Women tend to give from an emotional premise (Will this make this person feel good?), while men are more inclined to be practical (Didn't she say she needed a new weed-whacker?). This may be why women tend to freak out when shopping for men. We're torn be-tween the heartfelt and the practical. If we go for the feeling, we miss his idea of the perfect gift. If we just grab a weed-whacker, we feel guilty that our gift isn't from the heart. Don't give up, girls! There are ways we can please these guys. It may take a little more thought and work, but isn't that the idea? Second Corinthians 9:7 provides us with special instructions regarding how we should give: not reluctantly or under compulsion, but with a cheerful heart. When we head to the mall thinking, Oh dread, another gift to buy, that's giving under compulsion. Giving cheer-fully involves focusing on what the man in your life wants, not necessarily what you'd like to buy. It involves studying him. What does he love? What's his passion? Bonding Experiences Sheila knows her husband's passion: hockey. So every year for their anniversary, she buys them tickets to a professional hockey game. They both love it. Her friend Heather has a father with a sports passion, too. And while Heather really wants to please him, she can't think of a single sporting event she can stomach. But since Heather's dad loves sports and Heather loves her dad, last Christ-mas she bought football tickets for her father and her two brothers. She nailed all the men in her family with one shopping swoop. The tickets were a big hit. Her father and brothers had one of those male-bonding moments, and Heather was elated that she could provide that special moment without having to be a part of it. His Fun vs. Your Fear Julie knows if she wants to give her boy-friend, Dave, a gift he'll really enjoy, she needs to get him a tool. But she's noticed when she gives him a tool, he tries to "fix" something—sometimes in her apartment. She gets a little shaky when he swings his new tool from her second-story apartment window, saying, "Why call the maintenance guy when I can fix that window in no time with this baby!" More than once she's waited at the phone with a "9" and a "1" predialed. Julie's had to resign herself to the fact that sometimes good gift-giving involves a little risk. She's decided to go ahead and let him gain more experience as a "Mr. Fix-it." And Julie's learned to rent a movie to keep her distracted while he's working on his latest project. Donna had a similar situation with her husband's passion for cooking outside. She knew a barbecue grill with all the bells and whistles would be just the ticket for him. It was also a great excuse to have him do the cooking! Every-thing was perfect until she noticed what a rush he got from hooking up the new grill to their questionable gas line. The distinct possibility of living for months with a man without eyebrows took some of the fun out of the gift for Donna. She had to remember the goal of the gift wasn't for her to have the fun; it was meant for her husband's enjoyment. Donna's learning not to nag the fun right out of this great gift. So when he's tinkering with the grill, she also heads out to rent a movie—and prays. Themed Gifts Theresa's on the cutting edge of gift-giving. Her uncle's a golf-pro wannabe. So for his birthday, she piled tees, golf balls, special golf tools, and a how-to video into a golf-ball bucket. She and her friends have pooled ideas to put together similar gifts for aviation enthusiasts, sports fans, and more. One friend made up a "fisherman's delight" in a tacklebox. Another gathered a wealth of exercise goodies into a new gym bag for a fitness buff. For every passion, there's a gift basket. If you can't figure out a man's passion, you can always go for food. Remember the old adage, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? It's hard to go wrong with his favorite eats. And if you want to keep your gift heart-healthy, go for the low-cal favorites. The day i wandered the mall searching for my husband's birthday gift, I decided to suck it up and get the gift he wanted. Yes, I bought the uninspiring paper shredder. I wanted to package it in some creative way, but what could I do—box it with our tax receipts from 1985? I did add a nice gift of his favorite coffees and a mug warmer, though. He loved it all! Whether you whip up a gift basket, snap up the right tickets, or find the latest gadget/movie combination, remember 2 Corinthians 9:7 and give cheerfully from the heart—with a chuckle instead of an eye-roll. If you invest a little thought and some heart, you can make it fun and make that fella happy. So persevere in your shopping! Even with those boring lists, you can deliver that perfect gift! Rhonda Rhea, a freelance writer and speaker, lives with her family in Missouri. What Not to Buy for Guys Opera or ballet tickets. If you're trying the ticket idea, don't make the same mistake Angie made. She wanted to share a cultural moment with her boyfriend and bought tickets to the ballet. While some men enjoy the ballet, Angie said her boyfriend still claims to have nightmares about men in tights. Wallpaper. Joyce bought her husband wallpaper for his home office. At least he tried to pretend he cared even the slightest about his office walls. She finally exchanged the paper for a cushy desk chair. Now that he liked. Girlie-colored objects. Lisa got a great deal on a pen set for her younger brother—in pink. At least she's now enjoying it. Lisa's decided it's best to stay away from anything peach, mauve, pink, or any shade of rose. "Girlie" colors are taboo—unless it's on a gift with an engine in it— then any color has possibilities. Fly-fishing chairs. Ellie bought her dad, a fly fisherman, a fishing chair. Fly fishermen don't use fishing chairs. She also bought special lures—all of them wrong for her dad's kind of fishing. Checking his specific need may be a good idea. At least Ellie did well at her last garage sale. Click Here To Main Menu |
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