| A simple darkness is where she resides within her soul. It is there for her own safety and sanity. She goes there when her mind becomes lost in the complexities of life. When her feelings start to overtake her common sense, she retreats to the simple darkness. How can one be so alone when she is surrounded by open hearts and open minds? Perhaps it is because it is not enough. There is an emptiness that she is tired of feeling. The night is her friend for it covers her flaws and blankets her aching soul with a shadowy comfort. Daytime is too bright and revealing. To be one with the day would be to surrender and show her weaknesses. Her body shows no scars but if you look within her eyes, you will see that she is bleeding from the darkest depths of her soul. It is killing her slowly and painfully. A smile on the outside is a cover for all that she is feeling. Falling farther and farther into her eternal sorrows. She needs to find the pieces of her being that are missing. Only she knows what they are and how to get them but the place that they reside is untouchable and never to be hers. They are being held captive by another that shall never exist in this lifetime. The only time that she will be whole is in her own death where she will meet the one that she desires and needs to live. Ironic on how death could be the key to her survival but it is the only truth. The honesty she seeks is not possessed by any living soul, nor is the love. Love is too materialistic in this world of the living. These souls that walk this earth as her friendly companions are blinded by their own unrealistic expectations. They see the faults that reside on her outside being and do not bother seeing what is inside her. If they were to see the beauty within her, it would be an acceptance to the weaknesses that they possess. A beautiful personality with a perfect soul does not mean anything to them since she possesses so many outer defects. The one that waits for her on the otherside only sees her inside and does not judge what she is outerly. Spending her days waiting for the moment when her heart beats its final beat and this life is over. She knows that the time is coming soon, for he is calling her back to him. He feels the pain that is overtaking her soul. Nothing more, nothing less, their astral bodies reach for each other, only to be kept apart by the present life that she is being made to live. Weeping, she faces each day with small amounts of hope that what she gets out of the day will be enough to sustain her. Silently she prays in the darkness that the hurt will subside and allow her to smile for the ones that care for her. It becomes harder with each day that passes. The ache within her begins to show and she is asked to speak of it, but she cannot show her feelings with words. There are no words to say what she feels. No words. No actions. The only way to understand would be to dive within her soul and find your way through the shadows. An impossible task, for the door to her soul is locked and only one known soul possesses the key. Listen not to her spoken words but to the silence that envelopes her and you will hear the song that cries out to him to come save her. It is a mortal pain that her immortal soul can not withstand any longer. Another day comes and she continues to seek the end when she is whole once again. |
