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| Alf's Guide to Depression |
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| BY: ALF |
| Greetings from Melmac! Well, I think I should explain my purpose in writing on this site before I start. You see, on Melmac, my former home, life had evolved to the point of being almost perfect. But since Melmac blew up, I'm stranded here on Earth. And since I really have trouble getting into soaps, and I'm sick of all those court shows(too much Judy for me to take!,) I have nothing better to do to pass the days than to write for this site. And while I'm at it, I guess I'll pass along some Melmacian self-help tips to you humans. So let's begin with the first in a series of self-improvement lessons by me, Alf. |
| Okay, so if you're reading this and looking for help, then you probably think you're depressed. But I have news for ya- you may not be. Everyone has bad days, weeks, and years, but not all of those people are depressed. So to help you find out if you are depressed, use my questionaire below. Hell, do it if you're normal, you may be depressed anyway. And I have stock in anti-depression medicine companies, so if you're depressed, I'm ecstatic! Uhh did I say that out loud...no because I'm typing. Oh, get a grip on it Alf, your Psychic Advisor told you to count to ten and breathe deeply...errr forget everything I just said please. Let's begin! |
| 1.Do you often cry yourself to sleep after watching Three's Company or another high-quality show(like Alf) and wishing you had luck with the other gender/a better life like Jack Tripper(or Alf?) a)Yes, but only on days ending in -y b)Sometimes c)No, every day is full of smiles! 2.Do you get so sad you wish you were another person, with a respectable social life and lots of money(like Alf?) a)Of course, I'd give anything to be like Alf b)Well, only if the other person was Alf c)No, I think my life so far has been about as action and success-packed as Alf's life. |