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| Review Castlevania: Symphony of the Night |
| As promised, I'm doing articles over my spring break. However, instead of doing the ones I had planned, I decided to do something different. This past weekend, I started playing Castlevania: Symphony of the Night again, and it made me want to write a review. This may be the first article of the new year, I honestly don't remember or care. Enjoy...or I'll have someone "kill you with guns." |
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| This was a game that many people never considered purchasing upon its initial release. I didn't have a Playstation at the time, and if I had, I probably still wouldn't have bought the game. It was very critically acclaimed, but its outdated graphics made many gamers pass it up, as most people were too impressed by the innovative movies and other crap like that found in FF7 to care about "some remade NES game." But what it lacked in graphics it made up for in simplistic fun. Because of games like this being passed up, the game industry is total shit right now. Retarted shit like the Army Men series sells like Viagra to a retirement home, while many great games are totally ignored. I'm tired of ranting so I'll just get into the game now. You play as Alucard, a half-human half-vampire whose parents are Dracula and some broad. As is revealed in the game, apparently Alucard's mom pissed off Count von Count so much that he became evil, or something like that, my memory is fairly foggy. Anyway, Drac's feelings are hurt because Alucard never sent him any Father's Day cards, so they wind up fighting. Alucard has some friends to help him, whom he conveniently meets inside the castle. Maria is some girl who really does nothing. Richter fought Dracula but didn't get the job done, so he was locked in Drac's castle for some reason or another. The next two guys are by far the coolest, most helpful, and most homosexual characters in the game. The Ferryman is a scary old guy who gives Alucard free rides on his loveboat. The Librarian sells weapons and other things to Alucard, including the infamous "Library Card;" after Alucard comes into possession of it, having fun isn't hard. If you got that joke, kick yourself in the balls and quit watching PBS. Also, the Librarian bears a strange resemblence to Silver's the Chronicler, who has about six of the best game quotes of all time under his name. Unfortunately for Alucard, Count Chocula has some friends of his own. Well, actually only one friend, but that one man is worth more than a hundred others, and they say he's a bad mother shut your mouth. That's right, the man who would risk his neck for his brother man, Shaft, is in the game. Oddly, he's not even black, nor is he human, but dammit, he's there. In fact, he's the second to last boss; don't worry, though, as he seems to have left his killer instinct in the same place where he left his blackness and humanity. Can you dig it? |
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| Yes, Richter looks like Michael Jackson with a tan. No, he doesn't sing, unless his name is actually Jeff Lorber. |
| In a game with vampires, zombies, and numerous other monsters, it's kind of sad that the "Most Disturbing Character" honors go to a gay ferryman. |
| "Tell me of your deeds so I can record them in my Book of Legends." Wrong game, asshat. |
| The gameplay is some of the best ever seen in any game. It is a seamless mix of classic Castlevania with RPG elements, with some Super Metroid thrown in as well. And just as Castlevania games are synonomous with great gameplay, they are also known for excellent music. Even on the NES, Castlevania games had some highly enjoyable soundtracks. SOTN continues that legacy as well, and its music is not only the best in the series, but some of the best on the system. I believe that is due to the tireless efforts of one man - Jeff Lorber. I don't know who the guy is, but his name appeared around ten times in the music section of the credits, so I assume he had a big hand in the soundtrack. A search for "Jeff Lorber" on Kazaa led me to find many faggy horrible songs like the one bad song on the soundtrack, "I Am the Wind," which is featured in the credits. It is a bad soft rock song which does not fit in with the rest of the game at all. Though it sounds like it was sung by a black woman on a heroin high, the credits say that some Asian woman sung it. Regardless, the fact that Jeff's other work sucks like this song makes me almost think that his role was only on "I Am the Wind." However, my blind love for this man makes me hope not. Please Mr. Lorber, for the sake of all that is good in the world, let it not be true! I have once again proven my mad MS Paint skillz by drawing what I think Jeff Lorber looks like. |
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| Final Word: If you like games at all, you must play this one. It's pretty rare, so either get it from Ebay or scour all of the game stores in your area to try to find it used. I was lucky enough to spot it in EB one day going for like $10, but if you don't have the same luck, keep looking around until you find it. It is a truly classic game, and proves that modern games can offer the same kind of simplistic fun found in older titles and be great. Though its graphics aren't the best, there is a 2D gothic style that really fits the game. And don't complain about Konami putting this game, and future Castlevania's in 2D; if you played either N64 3D Castlevania, then you know that 2D is where the series should stay. Unintentional humor is also a plus, at least if you're the type who can enjoy a game and make fun of it with your friends at the same time. Don't let this game pass you by again. |
| My Score: 10/10 |