Oozing Machismo - Movie Reviews: The Good vs. The Bad vol. 1

I decided that since I chose to have fun with all the stuff I got for Christmas instead of doing anything on this site, I would put that to use. That means reviews for the games and movies I got, and also it will be a change of pace for the site. Normally, I only discuss horrible things, but now I will actually be reviewing things that I like. Well, that would be too much of a change, so I'll do a good one and a bad one. This will be the first installment, as I will probably do more later. But with my work habits, I really can't promise anything. I hope you like it.

Full Metal Jacket - This movie follows a group of Marines from basic training to fighting overseas in the Vietnam War. If you don't like war movies, watch it anyway, because over half of the movie is more like a comedy. The sergeant and Animal Mother say some of the funniest lines I've ever heard. I could put them here, but they wouldn't be nearly as funny as when you actually see them being shouted at Gomer Pyle by the sergeant. This is one of my favorites, and along with A Clockwork Orange, really got me into the work of the late Stanley Kubrick(the director/producer of those two and several other classics.)

Godzilla 2000 - You are probably thinking that all Godzilla movies are the same. A guy in a green dinosaur suit blows up a few buildings in Tokyo and sometimes fights with another guy in a butterfly suit. Well, you're probably right. I've only seen a couple other Godzilla movies besides this one, and they fit that description, but maybe somewhere out there, there's a Godzilla movie about the tango...of death. But not this one. Although this one has so much in common with the others, it manages to be a lot worse. Maybe that was because I actually expected a good movie. It sucked, but I still had a good time when I saw it at the theater, maybe the best I've ever had. My friends and I just sat there and made fun of it, and had more fun than any good movie could provide. For one night only, we were the cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I was the robot. Actually, the only reason I remember this movie is because of the ending. No, it wasn't some spectacular display of special effects, nor was it a catchy and tear-jerking scene with Godzilla breaking King-Kong's heart because "Frankly my dear, he doesn't give a damn." After Godzilla went away for some reason (maybe he had to catch Friends,) a message appeared: THE END...? Most people realized that this was just a hint at a sequel, which would have happened had this movie not royally sucked and made no money. After the credits (I had to know who was in charge of the piece of shit so I could avoid other movies with that cast,) I was heading toward the exit when something caught my eye. My friends and I were about the only people left in the theater by the end of the movie, so it surprised me to see that one guy, in the middle of the theater, hadn't moved at all. Apparently, he took the message at the end seriously, as he looked pretty damn excited about what was to come. This means two things: 1) he was a dumbass and believed the message and 2) he liked the movie, and was proud that he was the only one not missing a second. We then left the theater, but I assume a conversation between that guy and the
trash collector went like this:

Trash Guy- Uhh...sir? The movie ended ten minutes ago.
Idiot- Shh! The secret ending is about to start playing!

I would like to think that he stayed in that seat for days, and kept expecting something different from each new showing of the movie. Unfortunately, mall security probably threw him out before the next showing.